[Burichan] [Futaba]

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1450 No. 1450
Starring Flarth Majore as: FLARTH MAJORE

Directed by K. Flo.

Oh god I hope you're ready for this.
>> No. 1451
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1451
When we last left our heroine, she was in the process of fretting over her HORR1BL3 D1SF1GUR3D 3Y3 while at the same time GL33FULLY PUTT1NG 4 MONOCL3 ON 1T.
>> No. 1453
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1453
And now we continue.

Your name is FLARTH MAJORE. You are a former GRUB STAR who can no longer get work as a DECEPTIFILMACTRIX, otherwise known as an ACTRESS. You are universally beloved by many, many trolls, or so you would like to think. Having just removed your MASQUE in an overly dramatic fashion, as per your personal modus operandi, you stand with your face unprotected in the middle of your room.

What do you do now?
>> No. 1458
>Act.
>> No. 1459
>Get on wit-

oh sorry, reflex.

>speak to your adoring fans!
>> No. 1460
>Go find your lusus
>> No. 1462
>Take off the monocle
>> No. 1463
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1463
>>1462

No.
>> No. 1464
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1464
>>1458
>>1459

You ACT like you give a crap about your adoring fans.

Oh, man. That's a GOOD ONE.

Perhaps you should log on to your personal fansite and send a message off to them later, though. It strikes you as odd that you haven't had any intrusive trollings today.

>>1460

This is probably a good idea. It's been a while since you've checked on her and made sure she's adhering to her diet.
>> No. 1467
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1467
>>1464
>> No. 1468
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1468
>>1467
>> No. 1471
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1471
>>1468
>> No. 1477
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1477
>>1471
>> No. 1478
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1478
>>1477
>> No. 1479
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1479
>>1478

Oh, there she is.

You tell her to get her fat ass up.
>> No. 1480
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1480
Her name is Caliska Flockhart.

She's beautiful.

But this basilisk has clearly been getting into your Comedduel courtyard again! Look at her! She's been eating the calcified remains of the vanquished like a lardbeast set upon a wonderland of festering waste. Nice going, thunder thighs. Goddamn, you're fat.
>> No. 1481
>>1480
>Fat lusus for a fat troll, then.
>> No. 1482
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1482
>>1481

You SHUT YOUR FUCKING MOUTH.
>> No. 1483
>>1482
>Oh, I'm sorry. You wanted a command? Here's a command.
>JOG THAT LARD ASS A COUPLE OF LAPS, MAGGOT.
>> No. 1486
>Forget him, go on trollian and troll someone you troll.
>> No. 1504
>>1482

>Give an impromptu performance to your lusus to communicate how disappointed you are in her obscene rotundity. Show us your metier.
>> No. 1519
> Throw out those paparazzi that totally exist.
>> No. 1522
>>1519
... or at least the scalemate paparazzi that you have placed for strife practice. Gotta keep those reflexes sharp! You remember how relentless they were, and will be again.
>> No. 1558
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1558
>>1486
>>1504

You decide to kill two birds with one stone, retrieving your husktop from your sylladex using your MONOLOGUE MODUS.

"Hey! Listen, Miss Flockhart! 1 LOV3 YOU and 1 C4R3 4BOUT YOU. This isn't about BODY 1M4G3 or..."
>> No. 1559
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1559
Wait a minute. Is that...?
>> No. 1560
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1560
>>1519
>>1522


IT'S THE PAPARAZZI.
>> No. 1561
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1561
>>1560

Those bastards. They're your biggest fans. They'll follow you until you love them.
>> No. 1562
>>1561

>STRIFE!!
>> No. 1564
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1564
>>1561

Or at least until you kill them.

Animated
>> No. 1565
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1565
>>1564

PA-PA
>> No. 1566
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1566
>>1565

PA-PA-RAZZI!!!!!!!!
>> No. 1567
>Flarth: The mood is ruined! Be mad about this and take your anger out on someone via Trollian.
>> No. 1568
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1568
>>1567

You continue your MONOLOGUE.

"How D4R3 TH3Y. 3V3N 4S 1 TRY TO 3NCOUR4G3 MY LUSUS! They STR1K3! Like filthy HOUNDS, MONGR3LS at my doorstep, clamoring for the very SCR4PS from the table of my PR1V4T3 L1F3! HOW D4R3 TH3Y, 1 S4Y! HOW! D4R3! TH3Y!!!!!!!!"
>> No. 1569
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1569
>>1568

The SYLLAUDIENCE is extremely pleased with your performance. They toss a number of tokens to you, one of which is your requested Husktop.
>> No. 1570
>>1569
>Quickly captchalogue panties.
>> No. 1575
>>1570
>While catching the rose in your mouth.
>> No. 1577
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1577
>>1575
>>1570

Yeah, yeah, you do all of this crap and head back to your room with your Husktop.

And it looks like someone's trolled you after all!
>> No. 1578
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1578
>>1577

>Show Pesterlog

-- totemPolice [TP] began trolling hilariouslyTragic [HT] --

TP: 0k
TP: i uhh
TP: kn0w that y0u d0 n0t uhh like me very much
TP: but uhh
TP: i wr0te y0u an0ther uhh s0ng
TP: are y0u uhh
TP: are y0u there
TP: 0k i think
TP: i will c0me back later
TP: because i want y0u t0 hear it
TP: in
TP: uhh
TP: in pers0n
TP: g00dbye

>Show Pesterlog

-- wordlessThespian [WT] began trolling hilariouslyTragic[HT] --

WT: SCENE: [FLARTH MAJORE's Courtyard]
WT: [It is Littered with The statues Of comedduel Spoils]
WT: [Enter WT Over courtyard Wall]
WT: [He advances Through the Courtyard and Lobs a Single stone At her Window]
WT: WT [Coming forward]:
WT: But soft! What light From yonder Window breaks!
WT: It is The East, and Flarth is The heliotrope Moon!
WT: Arise, fair Moon, and Kill the Envious sun
WT: Who is Already sick And pale With grief
WT: That thou Her maid Art more Fair than She.
WT: Be not Her maid Since she Is envious.
WT: Her vestal Livery is But sick And green,
WT: WT [Pauses, awaiting The approach of FLARTH;]
WT: [He is Overcome with Grief that She is Taking so Long;]
WT: [He begins To enact A pantomime Representative of His grief]
WT: Alack!
WT: Do you Ignore me Still dear Flarth?
WT: Where are You?





Hmmm. Which one of them do you want to troll first?
>> No. 1579
>Flather: Wonder why your lips change from black to blue
>> No. 1580
>>1579

There is a dark black outline around her lips on her sprite when she's smiling, but she wears blue lipstick. It's a style thing I guess.
>> No. 1582
>>1578
>wordlessThespian :)
>> No. 1589
totemPolice man. I want to hear that dude bust some rhymes.
>> No. 1606
>>1582
Yeah, gotta admire those who support your arts. Can't leave them hanging!
>> No. 1612
WT, Show that amateur nobody can beat you in an act-of!
>> No. 1796
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1796
>>1582
>>1606
>>1612

You are about 3 out of 4 votes sure you'd much rather talk to wordlessThespian, your moirail, over that pathetic loser totemPolice.

>Show Pesterlog

-- hilariouslyTragic [HT] began trolling wordlessThespian [WT] --

HT: UGHHHHH that LOS3R is trying to send me a SONG. 4G41N.
WT: Ahh so You return My sweet
WT: I have Whiled away The Hours
WT: Awaiting your Hasty return
HT: Y34H OK4Y 1 G3T 1T! You M1SS3D me.
WT: Of which "Loser" do You speak?
HT: TP. ;_P
WT: WT [Enacts an Exaggerated pantomime Indicating raucous Laughter]
WT: WT [He appears To be In pains As he Laughs so Tremendously]
WT: I mean How adorable
HT: UGHHHHHHHH it isn't FUNNY anymore.
WT: Ah yes
WT: How ones Comedy is So easily Another's tragedy
WT: However you Must understand
WT: That lesser Trolls receive No such Attentions
WT: +_+
HT: Oh, hush.
HT: W3LL. 1 suppose you're R1GHT. ;_)
HT: <>
WT: Alas! No diamond Ever received Sparkled so Brilliantly.
WT: To what Has dear Flarth devoted Her attentions Tonight?
>> No. 1805
>>1796
>He's gotta be a loser if he's wasting his time writing songs about a washed up bucket-kicker like you.
>> No. 1808
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1808
>>1805

I know, right? Oh, I mean SHUT UP!!!!!!!!

>Show Pesterlog

HT: Oh, just tending to my STUP1D LUSUS and fighting off the R3L3NTL3SS P4P4R4ZZ1. 4gain.
WT: The real Paparazzi or Your scalemates?
HT: ;_(
HT: Scalemates........
WT: How absolutely Trying
WT: I am Certain one Day soon Bravery shall Strike the Noble cameratrolls
WT: Enticing through Siren song An unsuspecting Shutter to Your doorstep
WT: The flashes Will be Blinding as They vie For the Barest glimpse Of your Ashy flesh
WT: They will Fight like Houndgrubs for The chance To Snap the Slightest evidence Of your Hidden eye
HT: 3NOUGH.
HT: We don't T4LK ABOUT TH4T!!!!!!!!
WT: +_+
>> No. 1854
>wordlessThespian: Show thyself.

>Flarth: Humor the pathetic would-be poet for a few minutes to get him off your back.
>> No. 2144
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2144
>>1854

>wordlessThespian: Show thyself.

Oh my god. Look at him, busting a hedonistic lounge on that chaise. And what is that, a cigarette? Do trolls even HAVE those?

Who IS this asshole?

>Enter name______
>> No. 2147
> Bozo Chaplin
>> No. 2148
>>2144
>Douchenozzle McNiceshoes
>> No. 2151
>>2144
> Baguette Stinkycheese
>> No. 2152
>Fagmop Douchefuck
>> No. 2165
>Mime de Mime
>> No. 2166
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2166
>Le Mime
>> No. 2169
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2169
These monikers are an unwelcome exercise in absurdity. You know, you were very into absurdity last sweep. Your Absurd Phase was the absolute in absurd. You are done with absurd.
>> No. 2171
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2171
>>2169

Oh my. Good thing someone left this nice sturdy rope here.
>> No. 2172
SWING
>> No. 2174
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2174
>>2172
>> No. 2175
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2175
>>2174

Ah, here we are.
>> No. 2177
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2177
Your name is MEPHIS TOPLER. You like most trolls have a VARIETY of INTERESTS, but they all have in common the very important fact that they tie to your greatest and most far-reaching INTEREST, the PURSUIT of ART, especially MODERN ART. Chances are good that if something can be reasonably defined as ART that you have DABBLED IN IT.

You have spent the most time perfecting the art of PANTOMIME, and are very good at conveying things without WORDS. You have gone so far as to never use your SPEAKING VOICE, a point that is almost certainly not moot since trolls talk to each other over non-Trollian means like ALL THE TIME RIGHT. It is your dream to one day enter the ranks of the TACITORTURERS.

When you are not being a paragon of condescension you are spending time pacifying your MOIRAIL. Your trolltag is wordlessThespian and >Speak in A rhythm Almost iambic In meter [While going To great Lengths to Show rather Than tell]

Flarth seems calm for now. What do you do?
>> No. 2178
>>2176
Now that the banner has served it's purpose, dispose of it in a flamboyant manner.

N: turdoprl fucdbaal & ⅄: _rol_p anet_ . Fucking French trolls and their accented letters, I can't read that.
>> No. 2191
>>2177

>Mephis: Express feelings about Flarth's stalker/would-be Matesprit through interpretive dance.
>> No. 2206
>>2178
Upside-down TES runes while still reading left-to-right, if I remember right. Wish I still had that list somewhere.
>> No. 2207
>>2177
>Unbelievably shitty table: Break under his(?) weight.
>> No. 2222
>>2206
Oh I know, I was using Boggle Translate... I just couldn't type in the accented characters.

(Boggle is the troll search engine, vastly superior to human google. It returns all the search results; all of them. So many, in fact, that people just stare dumbstruck at all the answers. It's even a verb: "to boggle" means to be mentally stunned in amazement or fear at what you behold. It returns even wrong answers too, and ALL of the wrong answers, so it's kinda a piece of shit if you don't know what you're doing.)

Actually I was using http://miff.furopolis.org/trollme/daedric.html
>> No. 2231

Clearly your methods are superior to my "copy from MSPA and fuck around with the letters" method because I didn't bother to realize that this was a language you could translate. Oh well. Whatever. GOD I'M SO LAZY, AND WHERE IS THIS UPDATE.

IT'S COMING, JUST LATER.

>> No. 2259
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2259
>>2191

>Mephis: Express feelings about Flarth's stalker/would-be Matesprit through interpretive dance.

A lovely ballet ensues, so full of form and color. The dance is so clear in your expression, so animated in fact, that even if it happened to be depicted in a series of stills it would be painfully obvious how expressive and animated it is. It's that animated.
>> No. 2274
(Wow, I can sort of actually see what each one represents!)
>> No. 2597
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2597
>>2207

>Unbelievably shitty table: Break under his weight.

The Unbelievably Shitty Table reaches the rung "You-Got-Served Garcon" on its echeladder just before dying a horrible dance-related death.

GO GO TWO-FRAME ANIMATION
>> No. 2600
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2600
>>2597

Finally, you have the last piece for your latest modern sculpture.
>> No. 2601
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2601
>>2600

It's called "Unbelievably Shitty Tableau."

An exercise in the nature of expendability and weakness, you consider it to be almost your greatest work. You can't wait to sell it for thousands of Caegars to some rich asshole under the sea.
>> No. 2602
>>2601
>View other masterpieces
>> No. 2611
>>2601
I know it's supposed to be a joke, but it's actually up there with the mid-term shows I would see at art college. I wish I was joking.
>> No. 2612
>>2611
Oh my god.
I cried.
>> No. 2613
>>2611
It's so true. -_- There's a reason I tried a sculpture class once and never went back. Ever. Ugh.

>>2602
>Ditto
>> No. 2615
>Flarth: Listen to your admirer's song!
>> No. 2628
> Express the nature of the visual similarity between these tables and large black roaches.