ooh boy let's see if i can manage to keep up with this!
Here stands a cheerful troll girl, taking a break from her frolicking about in an Alternian forest. Today is an aaaawesoooome day, just like every other day pretty much. Every day is awesome when you're spending it as one with naaatuuure.
She has been exploring and, during down time, watching her garden slowly -- sloooowly -- grow, but she doesn't mind taking a break from her break to introduce herself.
Your name is BIZZLA HEZEEK. You have lived in the forest since being chosen by your LUSUS, and that means you have been oooone wiiiith naaaatuuuure for 7 SOLAR SWEEPS - give or take. You don't really keep track.
These INTERESTS include, and pretty much are limited to, WOODWORKING and GARDENING. You have plenty of wood available, so you enjoy shaping it into statues, jewelry… basically anything you can think of. You are surprisingly GOOD at it. As for the GARDENING, you really don't know what you're doing; you just like to WATCH the wildflowers in the forest grow. Sloooowly. It is relaxing.
When you aren't STARING AT PLANTS or CHOPPING UP WOOD, you are exploring the forest! You have pretty much explored every inch of it and know it all by heart, but that doesn't stop you from finding ways to be amused by your wandering. You often attempt to FROLIC WITH THE WILDLIFE, which is a terrible idea; they usually just attack you when you get too close. For this reason, you have become seasoned with the use of your SHIELD-AND-SWORD STRIFE SPECIBUS. You don't enjoy violence and would rather live in harmony with the beasts of the forest, but it really can't be helped. Ah, well. You are rather proud of your weapon, at least. You carved it yourself, both the short sword and the shield.
Then, of course, you have moments of down time! You often take the opportunity to communicate with your FRIENDS over TROLLIAN, though you have not spoken much with any of them lately; they are usually so busy. Your trolltag is bustlingAculeata and yooou speeeeak wiiiith aaaa laaaazyyyy soooort oooof draaaawl =:]
Or, well, you THINK that's your lusus. You are never really positive.
Your LUSUS is a WASB, one of the many that make their hive in this forest. Ever since showing up here, all of the WASBS seem to have taken you in as part of their hive, which is awesome. However, they all kind of look the same to you, so you can never be sure which one is your LUSUS and which one is JUST ANOTHER WASB. Ah, well. It doesn't matter that much so long as they don't suddenly decide to jab their VENOM-INJECTORS at you.
Oh, hey! One of your buddies is trying to contact you. This is especially exciting, since you haven't spoken to HIM in what feels like forever, and also you have been sort of worried that he might have been culled. Just gonna text him ba--
-- oof. You forgot to hold on, which meant that when your LUSUS got distracted by a nearby flower and came to a halt, you fell right off. At least you just landed in the grass.
Anyway, time to text your pal!
inconsequentGrunt [IG] began trolling bustlingAculeata [BA].
IG: Hello, Bizzla. Are you there?
IG: I am sorry if I am interrupting anything.
IG: You said I should contact you as soon as I get out of training, though.
BA: naaaah maaaan, yoooou're noooot iiiinteeeeruuuuptiiiing aaaanyyyythiiiing!
BA: iiii'm glaaaad tooooo heeeear froooom yoooou =:]
BA: iiii waaaas woooorriiiied
IG: Oh, mmmy apologies...
IG: I did not want anyone to worry...
BA: weeeell whaaaateeeeveeeer, duuuude! hoooow diiiid iiiit goooo?
IG: It went... well, I am alive.
IG: There is that.
IG: I have been assigned to a fleet, and I am headed to the base now.
BA: weeeell aaaalriiiight! aaaare yoooou gooooing soooomewheeeere coooool?
IG: Actually, I got stationed to Sguk.
BA: whaaaat, buuuut oooonlyyyy shiiiittyyyy sooooldiiiiers geeeet seeeent theeeere D:=
BA: waaaait shiiiit, soooorryyyy maaaan, iiii diiiidn't meeeean thaaaat yoooou're aaaa shiiiittyyyy sooooldiiiier
BA: diiiid yoooou piiiiss ooooff soooomeoooone hiiiigheeeer-uuuup oooor soooomethiiiing?
IG: No. I am just... a shitty soldier, as you said.
IG: But that is fine. I had no illusions of grandeur. A planet the likes of Sguk is really what I am best suited for.
IG: I think I have to go now. I am really not supposed to continue contacting anyone on Alternia, and... I am a bit worried that I will get caught.
BA: ohhhh shiiiit ooookaaaay duuuude, yeeeeah!
BA: quiiiit blaaaabbiiiing toooo meeee beeeefoooore yoooou geeeet iiiin trooooublllle!
IG: Alright. It was nice talking to you, Bizzla.
IG: Errr... I mean... gooooodbyyyye.
BA: theeeere yoooou goooo haaaahaaaa!
BA: reeeemeeeembeeeer toooo tryyyy aaaand loooooseeeen uuuup, yoooou aaaare aaaalwaaaays soooo stiiiiff!
IG: I will... uhhhh, iiii wiiiill tryyyy.
IG: I will also try to contact you later, if I can.
Poor guy is always so hard on himself. It is kind of a bummer that he got assigned to the boondocks of the universe, but... well, at least he's alive. Who knows, maybe Sguk isn't as bad as everyone says! He isn't likely to think positive, so you kinda have to do it for him, and you are okay with that.
For a moment, you are IG. You mope just a bit, only as much as you can allow yourself to. You are fated to be nothing more than a foot soldier until you inevitably meet your violent and untimely death, as almost all trolls tend to do. This is not something that is set in stone or foretold, since you do not have any power over time, or any knowledge of the future. You don't have any powers or special abilities at all. Still, you are pretty sure that is the case, and you don't need a prophecy or the voices of the dead to tell you so.
As a brownblood, you are almost as low as you can get on the hemospectrum, and you believe in the archaic caste system religiously. You know that means that you are damn near worthless and stuck as a nobody. You just have to listen to your higher-ups and live out your humble, pathetic life as you are told to do.
You have always believed in this and have always been pretty bummed out about it, but after barely making it through training and being tossed away into the most backwater part of the universe, your beliefs are only reinforced.
But that's enough of that. You are resigned to your fate, and you have yet to reach your destination. Until you are ready to take the spotlight, let's get back to your cheery yellow hippie friend.
While you've got your PORTABLE COMMUNICATIONS DEVICE out and at the ready, you might as well troll some of the other chumps on your list! MM in particular is almost always in a good mood, so a conversation with him will be nice after your less chipper chat with your brownblood friend.
bustlingAculeata [BA] began trolling melodiousMerrymaker [MM].
BA: heeeey maaaaan!
BA: maaaade aaaanyyyy neeeew jaaaams laaaatelyyyy? =:]
MM: OH HE▌▌O THERE, BIZZ▌A~♪
MM: YOU KNOW IT GIR▌~!♪
MM: THESE JAMS ARE SO SICK, IT IS SI▌▌Y~♪
BA: yoooou goooottaaaa seeeend theeeem myyyy waaaay duuuude
BA: beeeefoooore theeee reeeest oooof theeee neeeet geeeets theeeeir claaaaws oooon theeeem!
MM: OF COURSE BABE, A▌WAYS~♪ 83
MM: SO ANYHOO, WHAT'S UP, GIR▌~?♪
BA: weeeell iiii juuuust goooot doooone taaaalkiiiing wiiiith IG
MM: OH, HE'S STI▌▌ A▌IVE~?♪
MM: GOOD TO KNOW WE WON'T HAVE TO ▌IVE WITHOUT HIS ▌IMIT▌ESS CHEER~♪
MM: HE IS A▌WAYS SUCH A RAY OF SUNSHINE~♪
BA: ohhhh stoooop iiiit =:[
BA: heeee's reeeeallyyyy sweeeeet
MM: YEAH, A▌RIGHT, FINE~♪
MM: I GUESS I AM PRETTY G▌AD HE DIDN'T GET CU▌▌ED~♪
MM: HE A▌WAYS GAVE TONS OF MAD COMP▌IMENTS ON MY TUNES~~~♪
MM: YOU KNOW, NOT THAT I DON'T GET THOSE FROM BASICA▌▌Y EVERYONE~♪
BA: oooof coooourse!
BA: buuuut yeeeeah, iiii duuuunnoooo, iiii stiiiill woooorryyyy aaaaboooout hiiiim
BA: heeee goooot stuuuuck oooon sguuuuk, caaaan yoooou beeeeliiiieve thaaaat? =:0
MM: KINDA YEAH~♪
MM: NOT SAYING THAT TO BE AN ASSHAT EITHER~♪
MM: HE IS NOT A▌▌ THAT STRONG, AND HE CHOKES UNDER PRESSURE~♪
MM: BUT ▌ESS ABOUT HIM BIZZ, MORE ABOUT OTHER STUFF~♪
MM: ANYTHING E▌SE REA▌▌Y~♪
MM: ▌IKE HOW ABOUT THESE KICKASS TUNES I'M ABOUT TO BE ▌ETTING YOU ▌ISTEN TO~♪
MM: YOU'RE WE▌COME~!♪
melodiousMerrymaker has initiated a file transfer with bustlingAculeata.
Oh, shit, mom looks kind of aggravated. You can hear the rest of the WASBS buzzing angrily in the distance.
You hastily turn off the SICK JAMS.
BA: woooow thaaaat waaaas wiiiild maaaan =:D
MM: HEEHEEHEE YEAH I KNOW~♪
MM: WHAT ABOUT ME ISN'T~?♪
BA: iiii goooottaaaa goooo noooow thoooough
BA: myyyy luuuusuuuus iiiis geeeettiiiing kiiiindaaaa piiiissyyyy
MM: OH SHIT, YEAH GET OUTTA HERE GIR▌~!♪
MM: IF SHE FLIPS OFF THE HAND▌E AND STINGS YOU, ▌ET ME KNOW RIGHT AWAY SO I CAN HE▌P.
BA: noooo woooorriiiies maaaan, iiii'll beeee fiiiine =:]
BA: ... heeeeeheeeee, "beeee"
MM: SEE YA, BIZZ▌A, BABE~♪
bustlingAculeata [BA] has ceased trolling melodiousMerrymaker [MM].
and this one i drew just now instead of updating! hurp.
for the record, this would never actually happen because A) all of my fantrolls would not get their hands on sgrub, meaning that they'll die like every other troll during the glub, and B) even if they did get into the game, bizzla would so definitely not make it to god tier.
still, it's cute. she's the soldier of peace, in the land of flowers and stars.
Meanwhile, the hippie girl's MOIRAIL worries for her safety. Shit, she is so prone to injury, it is ridiculous; he is always stressing about her. What's worse is that he very rarely gives a shit about anyone but himself, so when he finds himself actually caring and wanting to keep her safe, he feels like an utter FAI▌URE~♪ 8(
You are now a periwinkle-blooded troll with some degree of MUSICAL INCLINATION. At least, you like to THINK you are talented, but in reality you are GOD AWFUL and so are all of the SHITTY BANDS you fawn over. You continue to MAKE and RECORD your music regardless, with the help of your naturally loud and grating voice and totally awesome AXE OF POWER, the AIR GUITAR.
You quite enjoy OBNOXIOUSLY-BRIGHT COLORS and decorate yourself with them to show it. As a matter of fact, you consider yourself to be rather FASHIONABLE, though you aren't, and almost no trolls give a shit about fashion anyway. Ah well! You don't care if they care. Except you actually KIND OF DO, and constantly worry that your IMAGE is what prevents your SICK JAMS from getting any fans.
Your trolltag is melodiousMerrymaker and YOU GENERA▌▌Y ARE ▌OUD, ANNOYING, AND SING-SONGY~♪
In a minute we'll get to deciding what you will do, but first -- what is your name?