[Burichan] [Futaba]

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61 No. 61
Your name is J'READ CESOM, and you just woke up from a wicked nap. Where the hell are you? Oh yeah, your MATESPRIT'S HIVE! You recently just moved in due to VERY INSIGNIFICANT circumstances. It is also probably INSIGNIFICANT to mention today is your 11TH SOLAR SWEEP ANNIVERSARY. Yeah, who cares about those?

Well, now that you are awake and at it...

What should you do?
>> No. 62
Find your matesprit immediately and have sex.
>> No. 63
>>62
Seconded.
>> No. 65
>Wonder if your lusus came with you instead.
>> No. 66
Isn't J'read the troll that tells the truth all the time? I'm pretty sure he's the one with the speaking quirk that causes clear communication and pleasant understandings with strangers.

> J'READ: retrieve shoes from arms.
>> No. 70
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>>61
>Find your matesprit immediately and have sex.

Ok, you have no clue what the hell "sex" is, but finding your MATESPRIT sounds like a great idea.

What the...? The door is locked. And why is there no lock from the inside?! Well, shit... seems I'll have to find another way out or talk to my MATESPRIT to open up.
>> No. 80
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80
>>70
> J'READ: retrieve shoes from arms.

Shoes?! What shoes? What kind of thing is that, even!? You couldn't even begin to understand where such a ludicrous idea like "shoes" could come from, or even be thought of!

No, there have never been nor will be any shoes on your arms.
>> No. 91
Troll some Unsuspecting Sap!
>> No. 93
find your matesprit and get a bucket.
>> No. 97
find computer
>> No. 99
find Waldo
>> No. 100
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>>80
>find computer

That's not too hard. It's right there on the desk, where it bloody should be. Your new room is looking pretty tidy, now that you give it a glance. The move did go pretty smoothly. Let's take a moment and admire your various INTERESTS.

You have a variety of FAKE INTERESTS which you absolutely ABHOR, but have come to tolerate. You write POEMS and are COMPLETELY TERRIBLE at it. You also spend a lot of time studying and practicing ALTERNIAN RELIGION as a DISCIPLE OF GOG. And at times you dedicate yourself to making DELECTABLE AND EXOTIC CUISINES from the beast you and your LUSII hunt for.
>> No. 121
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>>100
>find your matesprit and get a bucket.

You aren't sure if you are in the mood for your PAIL(not a bucket) right now. If you remember correctly you gave the Imperial Drone some enetic material before even moving. You still will like a chat with your MATESPRIT, so you quickly hit him up on TROLLIAN.

~
-- amicableAbomination [AA] began trolling intransigentWarden [IW] --

AA: hEY! hEY! hEY!
AA: wHY IS THE DOOR OPEN, mATESPRITE OF SOMEONE ELSE?~
AA: i DO REMEMBER AGREEING TO THIS~
AA: wHAT'S NOT GOING ON?
IW: It is for your own protection. [ )o not worry, you shoul[ ) have everything you nee[ ).
AA: wELL, THAT'S TERRIBLE AND ALL...
AA: bUT i DISLIKE HUNTING, TOO. aND MY LUSII DON'T NEED TO EXERCISE, YOU KNOW~
AA: yOU CAN KEEP US UP HERE ALL THE TIME.
IW: You will only be allowe[ ) outsi[ )e afer filling out the require[ ) safety information paperwork. If you like I can register your request and we can start processing immediately.
AA: gOGBLESS IT, THIS IS NOT JUST COMPLETE BULLSHIT!
AA: i THINK i CAN GET USED TO THIS KIND OF SHENANIGANS, SO ME AND MY LUSII WILL JUST STAY IN OUR ROOM AS WE SHOULD. hAH~
IW: For the sake of convinience I will take what you just sai[ ) at face value. Shoul[ ) you [ )eci[ )e you require something else you know where I can be reache[ ).
AA: nO, i DON'T KNOW EXACLY. sO YOU CAN BE SURE i WON'T BE ARRIVING AT YOUR DOORSTEP IN THE NEXT HOUR. oR MAYBE LATER! wHO KNOWS?~
AA: aLSO, PLEASE TELL ME YOU TOOK MY FLARP GRUB...
IW: FLARP is forbi[ )[ )en within the hive. RP on Trollian if you feel compelle[ ) to [ )o so.
AA: yES... yESYESYESYES! tHIS IS EXACLY WHAT i NEEDED AS SOON AS i MOVED IN HERE!
AA: tHIS IDEA IS STARTING TO SOUND BETTER AND BETTER WITH EACH PASSING SECOND.
AA: i MEAN... SURE ALL THOSE kESMISSES WANTED ME ALIVE TO CARE FOR ME, BUT STILL! tHIS IS BETTER THAN THAT, BY NO LESS THAN THE POWER OF TEN!
IW: The contract is signe[ ). You will just have to make [ )o. [ )on't [ )o anything stupi[ ). I'm watching you.
AA: wHAT? yOU AREN'T WATCHING ME?
IW: You are in MY hive. What kin[ ) of Troll [ )oesn't install grubwatchers on the premesis?
AA: oH gOG... i'M OFFICIALLY CHILLING. tHIS IS BY NO MEANS COMPLETELY DISTURBING.
AA: wELL... i'LL SAY A FEW THINGS...
AA: i PROMISE TO BEHAVE!!! hEHEHEHE~

-- amicableAbomination [AA] ceased trolling intransigentWarden [IW] --
>> No. 175
>J'Read: Take off your silly glasses which are clearly not inspired from some comic book character which EVERYONE seems to know
>> No. 178
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>>121
>J'Read: Take off your silly glasses which are clearly not inspired from some comic book character which EVERYONE seems to know

You mean Troll Spider Jerusalem? Yeah, this has been a constant issue for you, even though he's GREEN AND RED, not PURPLE AND RED. But you suppose it's the glasses. You don't really like this things that much, I mean... you see just PURPLE all the same. Your whole get-up is usually pretty mystifying to new trolls, but it's simple... you are an ABOMINATION. So you wear both HIGHBLOOD AND LOWBLOOD colors, even though yourself are YELLOW BLOOD. It's pretty much the most offensive thing you could do.

But non of this is under your control. It's almost as if you were CURSED. Which you guess you are. But you don't want to think about that right now.
>> No. 188
>OH SHIT THAT LUSUS CAME OUT OF NOWHERE.
>> No. 189
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189
>>178
>OH SHIT THAT LUSUS CAME OUT OF NOWHERE.

JEGUS FUCKING CHRIST!
>> No. 190
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>>189
>==>

Oh, it's just one of your Lusii, Gueh. He scared the crap out of you. But really, there's nothing to be afraid of. He's the more gentle of the twins, even though he does look a lot scarier.
>> No. 191
>Find other Lusus.
>> No. 192
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>>190
>Find other Lusus.

Your other Lusus, Yint, is over here in his cage. He is usually pretty dangerous for his small size so you never... oh... Oh Gog, he's awake... just...
>> No. 193
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193
>>192
>==>

DON'TLETHIMOUTOFHISCAGEDON'TLETHIMOUTOFHISCAGEDON'TLETHIMOUTOFHISCAGEDON'TLETHIMOUTOFHISCAGEDON'TLETHIMOUTOFHISCAGEDON'TLETHIMOUTOFHISCAGEDON'TLETHIMOUTOFHISCAGEDON'TLETHIMOUTOFHISCAGEDON'TLETHIMOUTOF
HISCAGEDON'TLETHIMOUTOFHISCAGEDON'TLETHIMOUTOFHISCAGEDON'TLETHIMOUTOFHISCAGEDON'TLETHIMOUTOFHISCAGEDON'TLETHIMOUTOFHISCAGEDON'TLETHIMOUTOFHISCAGEDON'TLETHIMOUTOFHISCAGEDON'TLETHIMOUTOFHISCAGEDON'TLETH
IMOUTOFHISCAGEDON'TLETHIMOUTOFHISCAGEDON'TLETHIMOUTOFHISCAGEDON'TLETHIMOUTOFHISCAGE
>> No. 195
>OH SHI-- YOU LEFT THE CAGE UNLOCKED YOU DAMNED FOOL.
>> No. 196
> Gueh: Protect your child.
>> No. 198
TOT4LLY..L1K3, FL1P TH3 FUCK OUT
>> No. 203
SCR4TCH TH4T, 3NG4G3 H3RO MOD3 4ND G3T FUCK1NG *R34L*

CUZ B1TCH3S? TH4T HOW YOU FUCK1NG ROLL
>> No. 212
>inztall ZGrub
>> No. 238
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>>193
>OH SHI-- YOU LEFT THE CAGE UNLOCKED YOU DAMNED FOOL.

WHY GOG?! WHYYYYYYYY?!?!
>> No. 239
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>>238
>3NG4G3 H3RO MOD3 4ND G3T FUCK1NG *R34L*

There's no avoiding it now. Shit just got "R34L" and you are gonna do what needs to get done. Both you and Gueh get ready for some serious STRIFE, brandishing your CUTLASS and KRIS as you retrieve them from you DUALBLADEKIND SPECIBUS. This is probably gonna be the best STRIFE you'd had in a while!
>> No. 241
>POSE 4S 4 T34M
>> No. 242
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>>239
> ==>

THIS SHIT IS BANANAS!!!!!!!
>> No. 243
>Be the other guy.
>> No. 244
>Be The Guy
>> No. 245
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245
>>243
>Be the other Guy
>> No. 269
>You are unfortunately neither of the guys. Now wallow in your current state of pain and temporary self-loathing.
>> No. 272
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>>242
>> No. 273
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>>272
> ==>
>> No. 274
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>>273
>Be the other guy.

You are now the other guy. Your name is Kalkan Surale, owner of this proud castle.

You been keeping an eye on J'read for a while. What a fool, he is going to destroy your beloved tower with all his roughhousing at this rate. You may need to do something about that later.
>> No. 289
>>274
>Quit being such a wet blanket and do something silly!
>> No. 306
>>274
>INZTALL ZGRUB DAMMIT!
>> No. 332
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>>274
>Quit being such a wet blanket and do something silly!

Hmm... well, you figure it would be alright.

Since no one is looking.
>> No. 333
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>>332
> ==>

First you are sure to lock your Husktop nice and safe. You wouldn't be caught death leaving any of your possession around unprotected.

You mean, who does that? Keeping things safe should be priority number one!
>> No. 334
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>>333
> ==>

Now, for some silliness. You quickly open up one of your many CHESTS and retrieve one of your most serious and illusive disguises.

Kalkan? Who is this Kalkan you speak of? There's no one here but us, the sophisticated Mr. Kankal and Ms. Betsy Ana Marie. You'll have to look for this Kalkan fellow somewhere else.
>> No. 408
>Uhm, well. This is highly unusual. Perhaps you should go somewhere with this.