Your name is John Egbert, and you have no idea what the hell is going on. You remember signing off of Pesterchum for the night and lying down to sleep.

Did that happen? Are you sleeping now?

You'd assume you're just dreaming, but you don't really remember EVER dreaming. At least not this vividly.

========>

Wherever you are, it's pretty drab and almost monochrome. It doesn't leave much to the imagination. Not that you're really trying to imagine anything. Unless you are imagining this now. This would make your head hurt, if you were thinking about it that hard.

And what are you wearing? These have to be the weirdest pajamas you've ever seen! Definitely not a pair you own.
They're comfy, but they kind of make you feel a little uneasy for some reason.

========>

If you were in the right frame of mind, you could compare your situation to one of the many TOTALLY AWESOME AND NOT AT ALL STUPID MOVIES you have seen. After all it sure seems like a movie scenario. A perfectly normal boy wakes up in some unusual and unfamiliar place with no idea how he got there or why he's there in the first place.

Actually this doesn't seem like a movie you've watched, even if the premise is pretty generic. At any rate, right now you suppose you can treat this like a movie. It might distract you from the unnerving feeling tugging at the back of your mind.

In this film you're the star. It's you.

What will you do?

> John: Look outside window

i'd love to help but i don't know how to do it either >.> awesome art! :)

An adventure with John yesss! :D Anyways,

>John: Try to open the door behind you.

>Do the windy thing.

>Look outside window

You take a look outside the window, hoping to at least get a rough idea of where you are. Landmarks, anything. Not that you would know, but it would be nice to have something to go on, right?

========>

Wow. There isn't ANYTHING outside this window, is there?

That's not very reassuring.

These are taking a little longer than I thought they would. Sorry if I'm slow. I'm still on it!

>John: Take a look around in the room you're in
[spoiler]Hey, it's cool, take as much time as you need/like.

>Howl like a gibbon and spray the room with vomit

>Try to open the door behind you.

It's no use. No matter how much you pull and yank, the door simply won't budge.

Considering what you saw outside, or rather what you DIDN'T see outside, this may be for the best.

>Do the windy thing.

You have no idea what the windy thing is, nor do you know how to go about doing it.

>Take a look around in the room you're in

You seem to be in some sort of grand entrance of sorts. From the looks of it, this place may actually be pretty big!

There seem to be hallways on either side of you, and in front of you there's a staircase that seems to lead up to another large area, full of many doors and even more hallways.

If nothing else, this place looks readily explore-able.

>Howl like a gibbon and spray the room with vomit

Augh, that's disgusting! Why that idea even crossed your mind at a time like this you'll never know. Stupid stupid stupid!

Yet for some reason, you find it very tempting…

>See Aradiaghost
>GHOSTBUSTERS TIME

>Talk to that ghost lady over there and ask if she knows where is this
>WAIT A GHOST OH SHI-

>Do you know if that one's Vriska? Go talk to Mindfang!

>Check Strife Deck and Sylladex.

>>2184
>>2185
>Various commands involving engaging Aradiaghost

You aren't gonna lie, running into a ghost would be about one of the single most awesome things that could happen, and you sort of believe in a place like this such a paranormal occurrence is par the course. There is also nothing more you would like to do right now than talk to a ghost, or fight one along side Bill Murray, Dan Aykroyd, or Harold Ramis.

However, no matter how much you're being told a ghost is there, and no matter how much you want to SEE a ghost there, there simply isn't a ghost present, Aradia or otherwise.

Whatever the hell an Aradia is.

>Do you know if that one's Vriska? Go talk to Mindfang!

You don't know who that is either! Man, you're starting to get a little confused from all these ridiculous suggestions.

========>

========>

Your name is Aradia Megido, and you don't know why you're here. You're not sure why, but you feel your presence here is unnecessary. As if you really shouldn't be here.

Yet somehow you are. So whatever.

You are at a bit of a loss. You've been trying to get this pink alien's attention for what you can only assume has been ten minutes, but to no avail.

youre 0k with that th0ugh

You really can't tell if him being aware of your existence would help either of you or not. Looks like you'll never find out.

Along with John, you can now command Aradia whenever you see fit.

>Aradia: Cut to the chase and possess the soft ape immediately

>Check Strife Deck and Sylladex.

Augh, your strife specibus! You always forget to set the damn thing! This was probably the exact sort of situation Dave was always hounding you about too. Not that you've seen anything that can hurt you, but you never know!

Huh. It also seems you are unable to access your sylladex, which was empty anyway.

This could lead to trouble down the road.

And my hand hurting tells me I'm at my limit for the night. I'll pick this up again in the afternoon. Thanks for all the commands so far, and feel free to keep doing it! I'll get any I missed when I start up.

>Aradia: Check Sylladex.
OR
>Aradia: Use telekinesis to tear off a chunk of the railing. Trace a greeting along the wall with it.

>Aradia: Fondly regard that pink ape's face in a disturbing manner

>John: Start singing "I Believe In A Thing Called Love" to nobody in particular.

>John: Remember Ernie Hudson and stop being such a giant racist. Then try the hallway to the right.

>>2196
This. I was about to suggest something of this effect.

>Aradia: Possess John or make some vases float around to scare him

>Check Sylladex.

You do not have access to your sylladex. Something is blocking off its use.

>Cut to the chase and possess the soft ape immediately
>Possess John or make some vases float around to scare him

You see no vases in this room!

You considered possessing him, but you aren't even sure if you actually CAN. To be honest you never tried anything like that before. In theory it would probably work…

>Use telekinesis to tear off a chunk of the railing. Trace a greeting along the wall with it.

In the time it takes you to consider that option, you come up with a more destructive one. That seems more up your alley.

========>

========>

========>

========>

You pretty much alarmed the hell out of the pink ape.

>Start singing "I Believe In A Thing Called Love" to nobody in particular.

Despite the intense dosage of what the fuck you were just given, you feel compelled to sing to nobody in particular.

So you do.

>Fondly regard that pink ape's face in a disturbing manner

The ghost that may potentially be there fondly regards you in a disturbing manner.

I don't think I'll take every suggestion every time, but some of these combined are too good to pass up.

Okay, enough of that. It seems like something in the back of your head is telling you to--

>Remember Ernie Hudson and stop being such a giant racist. Then try the hallway to the right.

Ernie Hudson! How could you forget him?? He was pretty much the hero in the original, when you think about it.

You apologize to no one and everyone for your racial insensitivity, and then decide for some reason to explore the hallway to your right. If you're lucky, or unlucky, the ghost will follow.

========>

A scream can be heard echoing in the distance.

And I'll take another break. Depending on the circumstances I may be able to fill more tonight. If not, I'll set some time aside tomorrow night after work.

>John: Pull window out from wall.

>Run towards the scream!

the scream is green! SO it must OBVIOUSLY be NEPETA, JADE or KANAYA( or someone with green eyes/blood)
>John: head in green text direction

>Aradia: Follow John toward the scream. Assume his people use terrible songs to greet one-another and that you were not just ignored.

>>2243
Wouldn't it be Aaaa if it was Kanaya and :33 < AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA if it was nepeta?

Then again I'm confused how one would speak ":33 <", let alone bother to while screaming.

Also
>Screaming person: Run out of room as john tries to run in, colliding full force

>>2257
the text looks kanaya-greenish to me

>Aradia and John: Go investigate this mysterious screaming.
dis adventure is DA BEST

>>2257
>>2258
maybe the shock of whatever happened was so shocking it scared the lowercase out of her text?(inventin dumb theorie is fun)

>John: Pull window out from wall.

What? There's no way you could do that. You're not nearly strong enough to pull a window off a wall!

>>2241
>>2243
>>2266

>John: Follow the scream

You disregard your previous idea of exploring the hallway to your right to head toward the source of the scream, which was apparently upstairs.

>Aradia: Follow John toward the scream. Assume his people use terrible songs to greet one-another and that you were not just ignored.

There's no way for you to tell, but the ghost is totally coming with you. S/he/it assumed your horrible song was some strange otherworldly greeting. That or she just has nothing better to do.

Actually, you think you might know this scream, or at least the voice that caused it.

========>

========>

Your name is Kanaya Maryam, and you just lost two of your fingers.

You found a hole in the wall and stuck your hand in, hoping there was some sort of secret mechanism for unlocking the door.

All it served to do was slam shut on your hand. You are in a lot of pain right now.

What will you do?

You can now give commands to Kanaya.

>examine device

>Kanaya: Look around for any suitable replacements for your fingers.

>Kanaya: Loath though you are to do so, tear part of your pajamas to bandage your fingers. Use your horn to get it started if necessary.
OR
>Kanaya: Check Sylladex and Strife Deck.

Hey, just because John and Aradia don't have theirs doesn't mean nobody will. >_>

>examine device

There's not much to examine, really. It's some sort of small opening in the wall just large enough for your hand to fit into. Well, it can't fit anymore, since it's shut. There go two of your fingers too.

The opening is surrounded by a red glowing light on the wall with an indeterminable source.

========>

It matched the light surrounding the door. You assumed the two were connected, when anything else you attempted ended in failure.

>Look around for any suitable replacements for your fingers.

Are You Serious

This room is an absolute deathtrap. You're kind of wary to touch ANYTHING in it. Besides, by the looks of things any limbs you find are probably long past their expiration date.

>Loath though you are to do so, tear part of your pajamas to bandage your fingers. Use your horn to get it started if necessary.

Ah, there's a plan. An unfortunate one, but it seems to be the most suitable option. While it pains you to tear apart and sully perfectly good material, you were left with little option but to make a makeshift bandage from your pajamas. In the end it adds a little bit of flair to them.

They looked nice before, you suppose, but you would have gone with a different color. Now they seem a little more unique.

That should stop the blood flow for now.

>Check Sylladex and Strife Deck.

Your STRIFE SPECIBUS is set!

However you don't seem to have your lipstick on you. How unfortunate.

You are unable to access your sylladex.

Calling it a day again. The next time I'm able to update may be a bit on the unpredictable side. There's a chance I can do it either later tonight or Sunday night, but no promises. Monday is pretty much a definite, though.

Keep tossing those commands. I'll use as many as I can make work.

>John: Call out to the screamer to make sure they're not being murdered or something. If they are you should probably hurry to help. Or run the other way.

>John: Begin talking absent-mindedly to the ghost as you approach the screamer to calm your nerves.

I wonder if Aradia can go through walls?
If so, we could use her to scout out Kanaya's room, communicate via written messages, etc.

>Kanaya: Think about you-know-who.

Also, to make green text, you just put this:
>
In front of the text.

>Like this.

>Kanaya: Bang on the door and scream for help

>>2324
>John: Scream back at Kanaya to see how she likes being screamed at!

So my computer decided to commit suicide the day after I made that post, so I have to put this adventure on a temporary hiatus. I was hoping I'd have the problem solved by today, but things did not go as planned.

I'm not stopping the adventure, honest! You'll know I'm back when there is a flood of new responses.

Sorry, and I'm glad you're all enjoying this so far!

who makes all these consuck computers anyway

No, seriously. It seems like any fan adventure posters either have their computers explode or tablets that hang themselves. I want to know why

>>2589
Karkat's reacharound virus strikes again?

>>2589
I'm perfectly fine and have oodles of time. Unfortunately I suck.

>Think about you-know-who.

You start to think about you-know-who, and by 'you-know-who' you of course mean your moirail Vriska.

Yep, just your moirail. Your moirail who your are totally pale for and have no deep seated and secret redder leanings for. None whatsoever. Nope. Don't give yourself that look missy.

If you had woken up where you usually do, you would have checked to see if she was still sleeping, like you tend to do.

You woke up someplace else, though. Someplace unpleasant.

I'm working on filling all the other prompts I was given for this adventure, but it's taking me a while. Any commands will be ignored if they conflict with what I have in progress, but feel free to give them. Some may work perfectly well!

>John: Call out to the screamer to make sure they're not being murdered or something. If they are you should probably hurry to help. Or run the other way.

You call out to the voice and ask it if it is okay. The scream was pretty agonizing, so you can't imagine they ARE okay, but it's good to ask, right?

Hopefully they'll be able to hear you.

>John: Begin talking absent-mindedly to the ghost as you approach the screamer to calm your nerves.

You're still not sure if the ghost is there, but you begin to talk to her anyway. She doesn't seem interested in your choice of topic, not that you can tell.

>Kanaya: Push the iron maiden closed.

>Aradia:talk about archeology to the human

Kanaya: cauterize that wound, hunny, or that's gonna get all kinds of infected.

John: Shut up for a minute and focus on the task at hand.

> The Queen of Books: Become relevant

Who is that?

Whoever it is, they're out there, and you're in here. Surely they'd be able to help you get out of this predicament. Surely.

========>

>Kanaya: Bang on the door and scream for help

You bang on the door and scream in hopes of grabbing their attention.

>John: Scream back at Kanaya to see how she likes being screamed at!

You are compelled to scream back at the damsel in distress. How does SHE like being screamed at?!

========>

Wait why did you do that? You're trying to help her, not freak her out!

>Kanaya: Push the iron maiden closed.

You take the moment of confusion to close the iron maiden. If nothing else it may prevent any future accidents.

>Kanaya: cauterize that wound, hunny, or that's gonna get all kinds of infected.

Oh, right. That's actually a pretty good idea. Even if it means zero chance of you ever using this hand properly again.

========>

You think you have a vague idea of how you'll go about it, too.

Sometimes you just have to work with what's available to you.

I have one more command I'm going to fill out, then take a break for the holidays. I kindly ask that you refrain from commands until it's finished.

It should most definitely be up tonight, but it's gonna take a bit. At the latest it'll be up sometime after midnight eastern.

>John find a way to get the door open

> The Queen of Books: Become relevant

You cannot be Rose, because at the moment, Rose is unconscious!

========>

========>

========>

_Input Command

>eridan: look over the edge

>Eridan: Put your cape on your head and pretend to be a scary ghost.

> Eridan: Fashion scarf into a lasso, sling it around Rose (Involve cape if the scarf alone is not long enough). Try to pull the minute hand back down.

Eridan: turn back time. Literally, turn that minute hand back.

Eridan: Wait until 3:30, then pull Rose down when the big hand is at it's lowest.

>>3114
>Forget that stupid land dwelling alien. Look for a way off of this stupid clock.

>Eridan: Do you have your Strife Specibus and Sylladex? If so, get out your wand and play magic pranks on the land dwelling alien.

>Spades Slick: use the Crowbar's crowbar to "fix" the clock

>Eridan: Gaze out at beautiful vista of London at night.

>Eridan: Attend indie music concert inside clock.

>Eridan: look over the edge

Your name is Eridan Ampora, and you just walked in on something weird.

Before you assess the situation above, though, you decide to check out just what's down below.

========>

Seems like a long fall into a load of nothing.

>Eridan: Put your cape on your head and pretend to be a scary ghost.

This is incredibly silly!

> Eridan: Fashion scarf into a lasso, sling it around Rose (Involve cape if the scarf alone is not long enough). Try to pull the minute hand back down.

There is no way in hell you could reach that hand, even with your cape and scarf combined. It is too high up!

>Eridan: Do you have your Strife Specibus and Sylladex? If so, get out your wand and play magic pranks on the land dwelling alien.

Your strife specibus is set, however you are missing Ahab's Crosshairs.

Wait what was that about wands? Why would you have your shitty wands set to your specibus? Especially when magic is not at all a real thing.

You are unable to access your sylladex.

>Spades Slick: use the Crowbar's crowbar to "fix" the clock

What? No. You're not even in this adventure.

>Eridan: Wait until 3:30, then pull Rose down when the big hand is at it's lowest.

Waiting is unadvised. In about 15 minutes this pink alien is going to lose her head!

>Eridan: turn back time. Literally, turn that minute hand back.

That would be the best solution. You just have to figure out how.

>Eridan: Gaze out at beautiful vista of London at night.

wwhat the flyin fuck are you talkin about

>Eridan: Forget that stupid land dwelling alien. Look for a way off of this stupid clock.
>Eridan: Attend indie music concert inside clock.

You don't need to find a way off the clock.

You were just in the clock tower a moment ago, and you're pretty sure there were no indie rock concerts.

Eridan: Scream at the alien until she wakes up. Maybe toss a shoe at her, to encourage said waking.

>>3113
wait oh god that's a sawblade
nooooo
>go into the clock tower and see if you can jam the mechanisms somehow

> Is there any way to climb up the clock's face?

>Scissorman: Pop out and be scary.

>Eridan: Have the sudden urge to grow a moustache and twirl the ends while cackling maniacally.

Wait, whats the white stuff surrounding the clocks numbers? Glass?

>Hope magic is real or get your wits about you, fish-man. Break that piece of junk before the next cut-scene.

>wait for 15 minutes. then ask her out, dead girls can't say no

>Be Gamzee

>Eridan: Scream at the alien until she wakes up. Maybe toss a shoe at her, to encourage said waking.

You decide to scream at the alien to wake her up. You even toss one of your shoes at her.

========>

That did absolutely nothing. You pretty much suck at everything don't you?

========>

And look at that! Now you have to go through this adventure with only one shoe. Way to think ahead dumbass!

>Eridan: go into the clock tower and see if you can jam the mechanisms somehow

It seems all the mechanisms are way out of reach. This is perhaps the most illogical, nonsensical clock tower ever!

There does seem to be a large pillar in the center, though, and a staircase leading down.

>Eridan: Is there any way to climb up the clock's face?

The clock face is in fact scalable; however one wrong move could easily lead to you falling into the white abyss. It seems like the risk factor is incredibly high.

>Eridan: Hope magic is real or get your wits about you, fish-man. Break that piece of junk before the next cut-scene.

You failed to break any pieces of junk before the next cut scene.

>Be Gamzee

Okay.

You stop being Eridan and start being Gamzee.

You are now Gamzee Makara, and you're a little confused. Not only are you in a weird yet comfy room, but your roommate is just plain odd.

========>

He just sits there like some sort of fungus and chuckles to himself. You sure wish he'd tell you what was so funny, so you could get your motherfuckin wicked laugh on.

You are able to give commands to any character that has been made relevant.

>>4289

>Arakune: Seek the Azure Grimoire.

>>John: Examine area around door.

>Gamzee: eat your roommate

>>4289

>Gamzee: HoNk HoNk :O)

>Gamzee: Captchalog abomination.

>>4289

Rose: Wake the fuck up, you must count as relevant seeing as you've been tied to a clock hand.

> Fungus: Do something incredibly silly

>>4289
>>"You are able to give commands to any character that has been made relevant."
HA, THAT MEANS WE CAN USE SPADES SINCE HE APPEARED RIGHT!?

>>4432
no it does not. mark

By that logic we can also give Ernie Hudson commands.

>Nightmare fuel room mate: Do something other than laughing.

Warning: This command contains spoilers for the 1/15 update, [S] Wake

>Aradia: Be the living Maid of Time.

Gamzee: Attempt to consume Fungus.
Fungus: Attempt to consume Gamzee.

Aradia: Be the type of ghost who can phase through walls and see what's going on with Kanaya. Also, seeing as the dead don't sleep, recall earliest memory of being somewhere other than here.
John: See if you can just open the door by grasping the handle.
Eridan: Turn the wheel slightly counterclockwise and then check the clock to see any changes.
Kanaya: Tug on candelabra to see if there's any secret passages revealed. Also, idly wonder how difficult it would be to convince Equius to make you some robot fingers.
Gamzee: Realize that as of now you have access to neither faygo nor sopor slime.

>>4639
ends in sex

>>4643
>Gamzee: realize you have no sopor slime
...In light of recent updates, that... is not good on -any- level.

>>4835

Gamzee: Realize you do not have sopor slime but DON'T GO CRAZY MAN, IT'S NOT WORTH IT TO LOSE YOUR SHIT OVER THIS AND HAVE A SPLIT PERSONALITY

There. I have fixed the prompt.

The past few weeks of updates in canon have made me rethink a few things I had planned for later on, so I'm taking a break to sort it out and decide what I want to do with this information. I'll probably start up again sometime in February.

The updates shouldn't affect what's already here though, so keep suggesting.

I feel like a dick for not posting for a couple weeks, so here's some Jade to hold you guys over. Thanks for reading so far!

Awesome.
(But remember, wben the adventure has reached a certain amount of posts it will stop getting bumped to the top, so you'll need to make a second thread.)

>>5274
Thanks for pointing out something that everyone on every chan already knows.