Your name is TEREZI PYROPE.

You are pretty enthusiastic about dragons. But you have a PARTICULAR AFFECTION for their COLORFUL SCALES, which you gather and use to decorate your hive. Though you live alone, deep in the woods, you surround yourself with a variety of plushie pals known as SCALEMATES. You often spend your days with them in rounds of LIVE ACTION ROLE PLAYING. You would like to engage in MORE EXTREME ROLEPLAYING with your friends, but you cannot risk revealing the color of your HIDEOUS MUTANT BLOOD.

You take an interest in justice, holding particular fascination for ORCHESTRATING THE DEMISE OF THE WICKED. You have taken up study of BRUTAL ALTERNIAN LAW, and surround yourself with legal books. You would love to someday join the honorable ranks of the LEGISLACERATORS, but you know that will never happen due to your aforementioned HIDEOUS MUTANT BLOOD. Your trolltag is grislyClairvoyant and you SP34K W1TH TH3 NUM3R4LS TH3 BL1ND PROPH3TS ONC3 US3D, 3V3N THOUGH YOU 4R3 NOT BL1ND YOURS3LF.

Yet.

It appears that one of your friends is pestering you on TROLLIAN.

What will you do?

>Terezi: Talk to all your friends. All of them.

>>5055

You have a lot of friends. It would take forever to talk to all of them! And some are... friendlier than others. Besides, not all of them are online! But you decide you might as well answer this chump who is trolling you.

creationsGuardian [CG] began trolling grislyClairvoyant [GC]

CG: TEREZI.
CG: HELLO?
GC: H1 K4RK4T
CG: WERE YOU ROLE-PLAYING AGAIN?
CG: SORRY IF THIS IS A BAD TIME.
CG: I WANTED TO ASK IF YOU'VE DECIDED YET.
GC: >:[
GC: 1 DON'T TH1NK 1T 1S 4 GOOD 1D3A, K4RK4T
GC: YOU'V3 FL4RP3D W1TH TH3M B3FOR3
GC: YOU KNOW HOW TH3Y 4R3
CG: DO YOU REALLY THINK I WOULD HAVE SUGGESTED THIS IF I THOUGHT IT WAS DANGEROUS?
CG: SGRUB ISN'T FLARP. I'M SURE IT WILL BE FINE.
CG: I JUST THOUGHT YOU MIGHT WANT TO PLAY, SINCE YOU WERE SO DISAPPOINTED ABOUT FLARP.
GC: HMMM
GC: W3LL, WH1CH T34M 4R3 YOU ON >:?
CG: I'M ON THE RED TEAM.
GC: BL4RGH! YOU D1D TH4T ON PURPOS3!
CG: I DON'T KNOW WHAT YOU'RE TALKING ABOUT.
CG: I PICKED THE TEAM WITH THE FEWEST MURDEROUS PSYCHOPATHS, THAT'S ALL.
CG: WHICH IS HARD TO DO WITH OUR FRIENDS, BY THE WAY.
GC: >:[
GC: UGH
GC: OK, 1 G1V3 UP
GC: 1 W1LL PL4Y TH1S STUP1D G4M3 W1TH YOU
GC: 1 HOP3 YOU 4R3 GR4T3FUL TH4T 1 4M G1V1NG UP MY VALU4BL3 FR33 T1M3 FOR YOU >:]
CG: YES, I AM VERY GRATEFUL.
CG: GRATEFUL THAT I FINALLY WON'T HAVE TO TELL EVERYONE THAT MY GIRLFRIEND IS AN ANTISOCIAL SHUT-IN.
GC: SHUT YOUR NUBBY-HORN3D S33DFL4P >:O
CG: <3
GC: <3
CG: OKAY, YOU'LL HAVE TO TELL THE RED TEAM LEADER THAT YOU'RE IN.
GC: WHO 1S 1T >:?
CG: EQUIUS.
GC: OHHHHHH NOOOOOO
CG: WHAT?
GC: H3 CR33PS M3 OUT >:[
CG: I DON'T THINK A GIRL WHO LIVES ALONE IN A TREE AND STILL PLAYS WITH DOLLS IS ALLOWED TO SAY THAT.
GC: BLUH! SC4L3M4T3S 4R3 NOT DOLLS! F1N3, 1 W1LL T4LK TO H1M
GC: ONC3 4 STUP1D WR1GGL3R W1TH NUBBY HORNS STOPS BOTH3R1NG M3
CG: DO YOU STILL HAVE THE DISCS I SENT YOU?
GC: Y3S
CG: OKAY. LET ME KNOW WHEN YOU'RE OFFICIALLY ON THE TEAM. I WANT TO BE YOUR SERVER PLAYER.
GC: GOSH YOU 4R3 SO M3DDLY >:!
GC: WHY 4R3 YOU SUCH 4 M3DDL3R-MCM3DDL3P4NTS 4NYW4Y
CG: SOMEONE HAS TO LOOK OUT FOR YOU.

creationsGuardian [CG] has ceased trolling grislyClairvoyant [GC]

You are already starting to regret caving to his meddlesome suggestions. Perhaps it would be best to troll Equius and get this out of the way.

What will you do?

>talk to your beloved lusus

>>5062

Lusus? What lusus? You've never had one!

Most young trolls are chosen by a lusus before they come above ground, but because of your mutant blood nobody wanted you. You traveled to the surface alone, which is consequently why you live in a tree instead of a proper hive.

It's one of the many things Karkat is constantly on your case about.

Terezi: Lose interest in dragons and never speak of it again.

I made that Gray Terezi, and im 0kay with this

>examine your abode

>>5094

But you could never! DRAGONS are such majestic and noble creatures, whose young face trials not unlike your own situation.
And their scales are so COLORFUL. You love all the colors. All of them.

>>5095

You stand in your RESPITEBLOCK.

Behind you is the door leading to your BALCONY, from which you use a makeshift ELEVATOR to reach the ground. Getting in and out of your tree house is a major production sometimes.

A window to your left is framed by transparent curtains, and the surrounding wall is covered with colorful DRAGON SCALES, which you have collected in the forest.

On the wall behind you are two posters. The poster for FLARP has been half-way covered by a larger poster for SGRUB.

Ahead of you sits your COMPUTER STATION. There is a stack of LEGAL BOOKS and a packet of CHALK next to the keyboard.

Your CANE leans against your desk. Obviously since you are NOT BLIND you have no use for such an instrument. But one of your LEGISLACERATOR idols is well-known for using his walking cane to administer SENSELESS DRUBBINGS to truculent witnesses to loosen their tongues. You enjoy mimicking his courtroom strategies during INTENSE LIVE-ACTION ROLEPLAYING SCENARIOS.

On the right side of the room sits your RECUPRACOON. Piled on and around it are dozens of SCALEMATES. You couldn't imagine going to sleep every dawn without your plushie pals at your side.

There are a couple legal books or stray scalemates littering your floor, but for the most part you keep the room uncluttered. It makes it easier to role-play.

What will you do?

>Terezi: Grin maniacally.

>>5102

You can pull off a rather SHIT-EATING GRIN when you put your mind to it. But you don't have occasion to use it much. Constantly worrying about being culled will do that to a troll.

>Terezi: Eat some chalk.

>>5104

W...what? Where did that strange urge come from? You are six sweeps old, not a wriggler!
You pop open the packet anyway and run your eyes lovingly across the delicious rows of colors...

...wait, "delicious?"

>examine a book written by your idol

>Troll Equius already, just get it over with.

>>5108

You pick up one of the LEGAL BOOKS on your desk.
Your idol was the chief prosecutor in the trial of TROLL O.J. SIMPSON and he published a book after his victory. It was the most televised trial in Alternian history. The book is thicker than your arm, so you won't try to read it right now.

>>5109

You decide you have procrastinated enough. It's time to troll Equius and get this over with.

grislyClairvoyant [GC] began trolling connivingTerminator [CT]

GC: EQU1US 1 W4NT TO JO1N YOUR T34M FOR SGRUB
GC: >:[
CT: D --> Salutations, Pyrope
CT: D --> No manners as usual I see
CT: D --> I suppose I was a f001 to e%pect anything less from you
GC: BLUH BLUH WH4T3V3R
GC: C4N 1 JO1N OR WH4T >:?
CT: D --> I was reluctant to reserve a spot for you on the team
CT: D --> But Vantas recommended you, and I trust his judgement
GC: SO 1'M 1N >:O
CT: D --> Yes
GC: WHO 3LS3 1S ON TH3 R3D T34M
GC: B3S1D3S YOU-KNOW-WHO
GC: B3C4US3 1 KNOW YOU WOULDN'T PL4Y W1THOUT H3R >:]
CT: D --> Hmph
CT: D --> I did my best to dissuade her from playing this 100dicrous game
CT: D --> But since she insisted I had no choice but to join her
CT: D --> Naturally I positioned myself as the leader of a team
CT: D --> I only regret that it is not the Blue Team
CT: D --> This vulgar color does not properly represent her
GC: BLUH! JUST 4NSW3R TH3 QU3ST1ON 4LR34DY >:[
CT: D --> In addition to Karkat I selected Eridan and Feferi
CT: D --> I do not e%pect much from them but the alternative is not %eptable
GC: OK4Y 1 W1LL GO 1NST4LL TH3 D1SCS NOW

grislyClairvoyant [GC] ceased trolling connivingTerminator [CT]

CT: D --> Farewell
CT: D --> Hmph
CT: D --> So rude

Man, that guy pisses you off. Always going on and on about the castes and blood colors. He needs to give it a break! Before you give him a break, like in his nose or something.
You take a couple minutes to calm yourself down.

What will you do now?

>Terezi: Be Karkat.

>>5112

You are now KARKAT VANTAS.

You are one of the few of your kind with JADE GREEN BLOOD. You are also one of the even fewer who was selected and raised by a VIRGIN MOTHER GRUB, an event so rare as to elude documented precedent. Though her life will be short, in time you will assure her of progeny.
Or something like that.

You have a passion for RIDICULOUSLY TERRIBLE ROMANTIC MOVIES AND ROMCOMS, many posters of which adorn the walls of your respiteblock. You should really be EMBARRASSED for liking this DREADFUL CINEMA, but for some reason you are not. Your idol is the actor TROLL WILL SMITH, and you aspire to one day become an actor yourself.

You are one of the few of your kind whose affection for the aesthetic overpowers instinctive regard for the utilitarian. Unlike a certain friend of yours, however, your interest in fashion is not obsessive. You just like to look good, okay? At the urging of the aforementioned friend, however, you did take up the habit of WEARING SUNGLASSES EVERYWHERE, EVEN INDOORS. So cool.

Your trolltag is creationsGuardian and even though you SPEAK IN ALL CAPS YOU ARE POLITE AND USE PROPER PUNCTUATION.

You are currently waiting on a certain someone to get back to you about a game the two of you are going to play with your friends.

What will you do?

>Karkat: Flip the fuck out.

>Yell at mom

>>5118

A dude as cool as yourself does not flip the fuck out for any old reason. No, if any flipping of fuck is to be done in this adventure, this is not the time.

>>5123

Why would you do that!? You feel like an asshole for even thinking about it.
Besides, she is probably in the kitchen making you some tea or something right now. She is pretty much the best lusus a grub could ask for.

>Practice your acting a little. Nobody's watching.

>>5128

You strike a dramatic pose in front of the full-length mirror on the back of your door and enact a scene from your favorite TROLL WILL SMITH movie. Of course, you take the role of TROLL WILL SMITH'S character. You pretty much have all his lines from this movie memorized.

>Get all pumped up for "the game"

>get trolled by some jerk

>>5130

You pick up the SGRUB GAME DISC ENVELOPES sitting on your desk.
You are about as pumped for this game as you can be. When you were younger you loved games, especially FLARP. But you cut your FLARPing career short after an UNFORTUNATE INCIDENT maimed one of your friends.

...and also because you couldn't play with a certain someone. Not that you'd admit that to anyone but yourself.

>>5131

Someone trolls you.
Oh, great. This is pretty much the last person you want to talk to right now.

twinnedArachnid [TA] began trolling creationsGuardian [CG]

TA: 2up lo2er?
CG: OH BOY. LOOK WHAT THE SPIDER DRAGGED IN.
TA: ehehehehehehehehe. your pun2 are 2tiill a2 lame a2 your face.
TA: diid you conviince your giirlfriiend two play?
CG: HOW DID YOU KNOW ABOUT THAT?
TA: oh plea2e.
TA: ii am not a2 2tupiid a2 you make me out two be.
TA: be2iide2. 2he 2aiid that TZ would come around.
CG: SHE? HALF OF OUR FRIENDS ARE SHES, HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO KNOW WHO YOU'RE TALKING ABOUT?
TA: ehehehehehehehehe. ii'll leave that two you two fiigure out.
TA: ii'll 2ee you iin game, KK.
TA: and when ii do, the red team i2 goiing down.

twinnedArachnid [TA] ceased trolling creationsGuardian [CG]

Ugh. You always have a headache after talking to that guy.

>>5133
>Make out with Troll Will Smith poster.

>>5135

You stand on your desk to get a better look at your favorite movie poster.
Your headache slowly subsides as you gaze upon the dreamy visage of TROLL WILL SMITH. Is there a handsomer troll in all of Alternia? You think not. Even HIS IMPERIAL CONDESCENSION doesn't come close.

Your lips move closer and closer to the glossy print. So... tempting...

>polish your weapon

>talk with a team member

>>5139

You equip your SICKLE from your STRIFE SPECIBUS.
It... doesn't really need to be polished. It's not like you've ever actually used it for anything. It's been sitting in your specibus for almost a sweep now.
You don't know why that thought occurred to you.

Karkat: Figure out who Sollux was talking about.

>>5140

Okay, enough fucking around. You decide to get down to business and troll one of your teammates.

creationsGuardian [CG] began trolling carelessConformity [CC]

CG: HELLO FEFERI.
CC: 38)
CC: )(i Karkat!
CC: Good to )(ear from you!
CC: )(ow are t)(ings?
CG: THINGS ARE GOOD, I GUESS.
CC: 38O
CG: I GOT TROLLED BY SOLLUX A MINUTE AGO.
CC: Is )(e still picking on you?
CC: I'm sorry Karkat!
CC: If you were )(ere, I would offer you a swig of this special ---ELIXIR to make you feel better.
CG: UH.
CG: IF I WAS THERE, I WOULD THANK YOU FOR THE OFFER, BUT DECLINE.
CG: I DON'T KNOW HOW THE TWO OF YOU CAN STAND TO DRINK THAT SLUDGE.
CG: ANYWAY. HOW ARE YOU DOING? ARE YOU READY FOR SGRUB?
CC: Sgrub? 38O
CG: ...YES, SGRUB.
CC: ...
CG: ...YOU KNOW, THE GAME WE ARE PLAYING TOGETHER?
CC: ...
CG: ...ON THE SAME TEAM?
CC: ...
CC: Sorry Karkat, but I don't know w)(at you're talking about!
CG: OH MY GOG. YOU HAVE TO BE KIDDING ME.
CG: DID YOU SERIOUSLY FORGET ABOUT THIS?
CG: AGAIN?
CC: )(e)(e)(e!
CC: T)(is )(appens to me a lot, I guess! 38)
CC: But it's okay, Karkat!
CC: You're not as tense as SOM---E of our friends but I still t)(ink you could learn to relax!
CC: You s)(ould come for a swim wit)( me sometime!
CG: YEAH, UH, I'M PRETTY SURE THAT WOULD BE A HORRIBLE IDEA.
CG: ON MULTIPLE LEVELS.
CG: I GOTTA GO, BUT LISTEN, YOU NEED TO TROLL EQUIUS, OKAY? HE HAS SOMETHING IMPORTANT TO TELL YOU.
CC: Okay Karkat!
CC: I will S---E---E you later! 38)
CG: BYE.

creationsGuardian [CG] ceased trolling carelessConformity [CC]

Oh Gog. Why did you think trolling her was a good idea?
You will let Equius handle this one. A leader needs to be prepared to take one for the team.

>try Eridan, see if his head is screwed on right

>>5142

Once you sit down to really think about it and narrow down the choices, it's pretty obvious who Sollux was talking about.
She's probably the only one of your friends who is more of a douchebag than he is.

...but that will surely come up later.

>install the game already!

>>5145

While you're at your computer you decide to cut to the chase and troll another team member.

creationsGuardian [CG] began trolling counterfeitAristocrat [CA]

CG: ...
CA: oh hey kar, wwhat's up?
CG: WHAT'S UP WITH YOUR TROLLTAG?
CG: I HEARD YOU DECIDED TO CHANGE IT BUT, DUDE...
CA: oh funny story about that, i got kan to help me
CA: and she suggested i try somethin called irony
CA: she said the girls lovve it
CA: wwhy, wwhat do you think?
CG: NOTHING. IT'S GREAT. REALLY SUITS YOU.
CA: you think so?
CA: fef didn't evven notice it, i had to point it out to her
CA: but after that she seemed to like it
CA: hey man, howw are things with you and ter goin?
CA: i'vve been meanin to ask you for advvice but things havve been crazy wwhat with sgrub and evverythin
CG: TEREZI'S FINE.
CG: I MEAN, TEREZI AND I ARE FINE. OUR MATESPRITSHIP IS FINE. THANKS FOR ASKING.
CA: damn kar howw do you do it
CA: you'vve got ladies all ovver you
CG: HEY MAN, LOOK.
CG: I KNOW YOUR ROMANTIC PROBLEMS ARE PRETTY INTENSE.
CG: BUT LET'S FOCUS ON GETTING THIS GAME OVER WITH FIRST, OKAY?
CG: THEN I WILL TURN YOU INTO TROLL CASANOVA.
CA: that's wwhat i like to hear kar
CA: i feel like you're the only one who understands me sometimes
CG: DO YOU KNOW THE PLAYER ORDER FOR OUR TEAM YET?
CA: yeah eq told me nep is goin in first
CA: then you, then ter, then fef, then me
CA: then i gotta get eq in
CG: OKAY. GOOD. THAT SOUNDS AWESOME.
CA: are you feelin ok kar?
CA: is there somethin you need to talk about?
CG: NO NO NO.
CG: I'M FINE.
CG: MY LUSUS IS CALLING ME THOUGH SO I HAVE TO GO.
CG: IT WAS NICE TALKING TO YOU MAN.
CA: oh yeah same here kar
CA: i guess i'll see you in the game

creationsGuardian [CG] ceased trolling counterfeitAristocrat [CA]

...yeah, okay, maybe trolling ANYONE on your team is just a bad idea.

>>5149

You've had the game installed since twilight!
You're just waiting for a server player to connect to you.

Be the ironic douchebag

>>CG: Have a flushed crush on someone.

>>5154 PSYCHE!!!

>>5153

You are now ERIDAN AMPORA.
Your MAROON BLOOD is the lowest possible on the troll hemospectrum, and most of your peers don't let you forget it. Despite this, you IDOLIZE THE UNDERSEA ARISTOCRACY and put a lot of effort into trying to gain the acceptance of those of a higher caste than yourself.

One of your methods involves engaging in FLARP with your superiors. You hold a fascination for MILITARY HISTORY AND LEGENDARY CONQUERORS. You have dubiously modeled your FLARPing profile and exploits after the most notorious figures and their stories, which are bristling with the GLORY OF VICTORY and the STING OF DEFEAT and POLITICAL MACHINATIONS and ROMANTIC INTRIGUE. It is an image you are careful to craft through EXAGGERATED EMOTIONAL THEATRICS.

However your efforts over your six sweeps of life have been largely in vain. You find yourself harboring a subconscious GENOCIDE COMPLEX that compels you to KILL ALL SEA DWELLERS.

But there's no way that could ever come up and bite you or your friends in the butt, right?

Your trolltag is counterfeitAristocrat and you speak wwith a vvery wweird and sort of wwavvy soundin accent.

What will you do?

>Go in the bathtub and pretend to be a seadweller.

>>5156

You jump in your ABLUTION TRAP.
You have to talk like royalty to pass for royalty, after all.

...it's hard to pretend to be a sea dweller when there's no water in here, though.

>daydream

>>5158

You indulge yourself in a day-dream pertaining to one of your favorite FLARP profiles.

As the dreaded pirate ORPHANER DUALSCAR, you travel the land killing other troll kids' lusii to feed to your devoted girlfriend's lusus, while lording your ROYAL PURPLE BLOOD over everyone who opposes you.

Yeah.

>get trolled by your moiral

Realize that you have some very important business to get to.

Have to end the updates here for tonight.
I hope everyone is enjoying it.

>>5157
Actually the aristocrats call it a bath tub. It's the opposite of what you expect. The Alternian high/low language division reminds me of U and non-U English. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/U_and_non-U_English The middle class says serviette, lounge, preserve, and settee, the upper class just says napkin, drawing-room, jam, and sofa.

>Eridan: Close your eyes and choose a random person to troll.

oh my gosh everyone is SO AWESOME
and i'm excited to see nepeta

>>5182

Oh geez. Thanks for pointing that out.
I keep making mistakes that I can't go back and fix. :(
Please bear with me.

>>5163

You return to your respiteblock because you have a niggling feeling that you are supposed to be doing something right now. Something important.

>>5183

Well, while you're trying to remember what this important thing is, you might as well waste time trolling someone.
You close your eyes and open Trollian.

>>5162

Before you can troll some poor random shmuck from your list, someone trolls you.

carelessConformity [CC] began trolling counterfeitAristocrat [CA]

CC: ---ERIDAN!
CC: 38)
CA: oh fef
CA: good timin i was lookin for someone to talk to
CC: W)(y, did somet)(ing )(appen?
CC: Tell me all about it! 38)
CC: T)(at's w)(at moirails are for, after all!
CA: wwell
CA: i wwas talkin wwith nep the other day
CA: and i think things wwere goin pretty wwell
CA: swwimmingly, evven
CA: but then eq got on her account and started yellin at me
CA: told me not to talk to her anymore
CC: 38(
CC: O)( ---Eridan.
CC: Do you remember w)(at I told you to do w)(en you're feeling depressed?
CA: of course i do fef wwhat do you take me for
CA: some sort of lowwblood trash
CC: T)(en you know w)(at to do!
CC: Get back to me w)(en it's done!
CC: 38)

counterfeitAristocrat [CA] ceased trolling carelessConformity [CC]

Hmm.

>Eridan: Run around breaking stuff while screaming. That's what she told you to do. Probably.

>>5188

No, you remember what she told you to do.
Breaking stuff and screaming does sound pretty good right about now though...

You walk over to your THERMAL HU- er, refrigerator, and open it.
Inside is an assortment of BOTTLES OF FAYGO.
Your moirail gave these to you the last time you visited her.

>Eridan: Slam that Faygo like its nobody's business!

>Eridan: Kick the wicked elixir or whatever drinking this shit is called.

>>5190

You grab a bottle of GRAPE FAYGO, because if you are going to slam a Faygo it fucking better well be the most respectable color possible.
You then proceed to slam that sucka harder than anyone has ever slammed one before.

Gee, it sure would be weird if the next post was a single word connoting shock and disgust.

>take out your crappy not-legendary gun

>>5197

You equip your HARPOON GUN from your STRIFE SPECIBUS. It's a piece of shit and not legendary at all. During one of your FLARP campaigns your team looted a legendary rifle from a sunken pirate ship, but one of your highblooded teammates predictably called dibs on it.

>remark on your chosen teammates

>>5204

You take a moment to consider the other members of the Red Team.

FEFERI is your moirail. You both live on the BEACH not far from one another on account of the fact that you both have AQUATIC LUSII.
Sometimes you have to wonder how an INDIGO BLOOD like herself can stand consorting with a lowblood like you, but you don't want to jinx yourself. You think you're very lucky to have her, even if she does have a penchant for sopor slime pies and kickin' wicked elixir.

KARKAT is a cool guy. His RELATIONSHIP ADVICE is top-notch. You have to admit that sometimes you envy his RARE GREEN BLOOD, his ACTING TALENT and his LUCK WITH THE LADIES but that doesn't mean you're going to stop being friends with him, because maybe some of that will rub off on you.

You don't know very much about TEREZI except what you hear from Karkat. She tends to keep to herself in her weird tree-hive. You do remember that the last time you talked to her you noticed her strange text color. Oh well. If she's Karkat's girlfriend, she can't be a bad person.

EQUIUS is basically your idol. His ROYAL PURPLE BLOOD deserves your utmost respect and admiration. And he's so proper. He has all of the manners. All of them. He has every right to treat you like the garbage you are but he deigns to look upon you as a friend. Yes, the only time you've ever had a complaint about Equius would have to be when you tried to talk to...

NEPETA. She is pretty much the cutest troll girl you have ever met. And her blood color is even higher on the hemospectrum than Equius's! You don't think even HIS IMPERIAL CONDESCENSION has blood as awesome as that. But that can't be right, because if her blood color was better than the Emperor's he would have come to Alternia and killed her himself sweeps ago. Oh well. Lately you've been trying to get to know Nepeta a little better but Equius keeps interrupting you. How is he using her account anyway? This is stupid.

>be the well mannered doucheatron.

>Be the cute troll girl.

>>5207
>>5209

>Troll roulette: 50/50 chance

this is cool stuff

>>5207
>>5209
>>5210

You are now EQUIUS ZAHHAK.

Flowing through your veins is nearly the richest blood the hemospectrum has to...

Hey, what's happening here?

>>5216

Who's this douchebag?

>Sollux, the cute troll girl

>>5218

This cute troll girl thinks you've spent enough time getting to know the Red Team.

And even though she's INCREDIBLY BUSY BEING WICKED AWESOME she's been kind enough to squeeze some time into her busy schedule to introduce you to the Blue Team personally.

She's pretty sure you'll agree to her generous offer, because if you don't 2he'll ju2t maniipulate you iintwo iit anyway.

Your call.

>show off douchebag interests

>>5220

Your name, as has already been established, is SOLLUX CAPTOR.

You are apeshit bananas at computers, and you know ALL THE CODES. All of them. You are the unchallenged authority on WEB DEVELOPMENT. At the age of 3 sweeps you single-handedly created the ALTERNIAN WORLD WIDE WEB.

Even though all your friends recognize your unparalleled achievements as a TOTALLY SICK HACKER, you think they could stand to show you even more respect. Even if it means manipulating them into it with your VISION EIGHTFOLD.

You enjoy GAMES and the floor of your respiteblock is almost completely hidden by GAME GRUBS. It's hard to walk anywhere without stepping on one. On the subject of games, you are preparing to play a new game with a group of your friends. Everyone has been divided into two teams. You are the leader of the BLUE TEAM and you plan to be the first to enter the game.

You are eager to get a head start on the opposing team.
What will you do?

>troll partner in crime

>Bitch and moan.

Ugh, I forgot the line about his trolltag and typing quirk.
...but I suppose those are already pretty obvious.

>>5222
>>5223

Seeing as you are such a talented individual, you multi-task.

twinnedArachnid [TA] began trolling abominableApparition [AA]

TA: 2up AA
TA: er ii mean
TA: *the hand2ome 2pider drop2 by a thread intwo hii2 friiend'2 den two 2ay hello*
AA: *the majestic p0uncebeast purrks up and playfurly bats at the spider's threads*
AA: hi s0llux *she says*
AA: 0w0
TA: ugh
TA: can ii giive you a raiincheck on the rp bull2hiit today AA
TA: really not iin the mood
AA: *the p0uncebeast twitches her tail infurriatingly fast*
AA: *she p0unces with0ut warning 0n the unsuspecting spider*
TA: ........
AA: 0k, 0k
AA: i'll st0p n0w
AA: as l0ng as y0u keep y0ur purromise about a raincheck this time
AA: 0w0
TA: yeah okay
TA: ii want two get started wiith sgrub
TA: you under2tand what you have two do riight?
AA: 0f c0urse i d0
AA: i have t0 depl0y the impurrtant items
AA: and build y0ur hive
AA: this is g0ing t0 be s0 much fun
AA: 0w0
TA: okay ii'm goiing two doublecheck two make 2ure ii'm ready two 2tart
TA: ii wiill troll you agaiin 2oon 2o don't get diistracted
AA: 0k

twinnedArachnid [TA] ceased trolling abominableApparition [AA]

She can be annoying sometimes, but putting up with her is worth it.

What will you do now?

>gloat about the Blue Team

>scheme

>>5226

You have so many schemes. So many. The Red Team isn't going to know what hit them, which is exactly what a bunch of losers deserve.

>>5225

The Blue Team is pretty much better than the Red Team in every way. You hand-picked the members. They are the coolest, smartest and most talented of your friends. They have to be, to be on a team with someone as cool as you.

>strut around the hive villainously

>Recall past FLARP victories. You win everything, so it shouldn't be hard.

>>5229

You get your strut on. Aw yeah. Trollers gonna troll.
...this would be more villainous if there weren't game grubs squelching under your feet with every step. Yuck.

>>5230

You muse about your FLARP career.

It's true that you are basically the best ever at FLARP, just as you are the best at anything you do. But you quit FLARPing a sweep ago. To be honest, you don't miss it much.

>Troll the idiots who are slow to install

>>5233

You can think of two of your teammates who probably haven't gotten around to installing the game yet. You should make sure they are ready before you start.
One weak thread in a web is all it takes.

twinnedArachnid [TA] began trolling automaticTenacity [AT]

TA: hey doofu2
TA: put down your 2crewdriiver for a 2econd
TA: no waiit ii have an even better iidea
TA: why don't you 2crew your2elf wiith iit
TA: 2iince nobody el2e wiill
AT: oHH, uHH, HEY SOLLUX,
AT: hOW DID YOU, uHH, kNOW I WAS HOLDING MY SCREWDRIVER,
TA: iit'2 all you've been doing for niight2
TA: how can you buiild one of your 2tupiid faiiry robot2 iin an hour but iit'2 takiing you 2o long ju2t two buiild a paiir of leg2
AT: uHH,
AT: i DON'T REALLY, dO ANYTHING WITH THE ROBOTS,
AT: bUT THESE LEGS NEED TO WORK RIGHT,
TA: well two bad becau2e you are out of tiime
TA: we need two get thii2 game goiing
TA: and 2choolfeed our opponent2 once and for all
AT: aWW,
AT: aRE YOU SURE I, uHH, cAN'T HAVE A LITTLE MORE TIME,
TA: there iis no more tiime diip2hiit
TA: get the game iinstalled
TA: unless you want me two do iit for you
AT: uHH, wE BOTH KNOW, yOU CAN'T DO THAT,
AT: yOU'VE ALREADY TRIED,
TA: 2hut up you bulge2lurpiing fuckmuncher
TA: ii ju2t took piity on you
TA: don't you forget iiiiiiiit

twinnedArachnid [TA] ceased trolling automaticTenacity [AT]

How dare he talk back to his commanding officer. This insubordination is mindblowing. You need a minute here.

>Blow up one of his stupid robots

>Enough of this spidery asshole, be Nepeta

Sollux: Say hi to your lusus.

>>5239

You only wish your PSYCHIC ABILITIES extended to the mechanical. It is rare for someone with CERULEAN BLOOD such as yourself to possess any psychic abilities at all.
You can think of one of your other teammates who might be able to do the deed, but you're not sure you're in the mood to talk to her right now. Or if she'll be in the mood to humor you.

>>5240

This spidery asshole thinks you should go jump in a bucket if you think he's going to let that prissy princess get a head start on him.

>>5241

Ugh. It's kind of a long trip, but you suppose you should let your lusus know what you'll be doing.

Your hive is built into the side of a cliff because your lusus lives in the canyon below.
Normal trolls would probably use stairs to get up and down, but you utilize a system of TRAMPOLINE WEBS instead. It's faster, and it's more fun.

After FALLING DOWN ALL THOSE WEBS you walk out into the canyon to greet your lusus, a GIGANTIC SPIDER. She looks... hungry. And angry. As usual.

>Troll one of the red team about how superior your teammates are. All of your teammates.

>Psychic-explain all these shenanigans to mom

>>5246

If she understands, she doesn't react.
She's pretty much the worse lusus ever.

>>5245

You make the long, bouncy journey back to your respiteblock to troll a member of the opposing team. But who........

>Sollux: Troll Terezi

>>5247
>Troll Feferi.

>Troll Gamzee.

Have to end updates here for tonight.
Tomorrow afternoon I will tally up suggestions for who Sollux should troll.

>Gamzee

>vriska

I'm also going to make a thread in general discussion to ask for feedback.
Please let me know what you think.

Link to the feedback thread:
../../gen/res/1618.html

>>5251
>>5253

There's nothing you enjoy more than hassling your opponents. But before you do, you remember that you were suppose to hassle one other team member of yours about getting the game installed.

twinnedArachnid [TA] began trolling torpidChivalric [TC]

TA: gamzee what are you doiing
TC: sOlLuX, mY bRo.
TC: YoU kNoW mE, i Be GeTtInG mY gAmE oN.
TA: oh good
TA: fiinally 2omeone who ii2n't completely u2ele22
TA: but don't 2tart yet becau2e ii'm goiing two be the fiir2t iin the chaiin
TC: uHhHh... I dIdN't KnOw YoU wAnTeD tO gEt AlL uP iN tHiS gAmE oF fIdUsPaWn, bRo.
TC: I kInDa AlReAdY sTaRtEd. ):)
TA: oh for the love of grub
TA: what are you doiing playiing fiidu2pawn when we are 2uppo2ed two play 2grub a2 a team toniight
TC: sOrRy BrO, tHe AlLuRe Of ThE cArDs Is ToO mUcH fOr Me.
TA: how are you even playiing fiidu2pawn anyway
TA: you liive iin the miiddle of nowhere, who are you playiing wiith
TC: mY lUsUs. ):)
TC: He Is GeTtInG pReTtY gOoD aT tHiS...
TC: bUt ThAt'S oKaY, iT's NiCe To HaVe A cHaLlEnGe SoMeTiMeS.
TA: yeah well you'll get plenty of challenge from the red team
TA: 2o pack away your 2tupiid wriiggler card game and iin2tall
TC: nO wOrRiEs BrO, i Am On ThIs.

twinnedArachnid [TA] ceased trolling torpidChivalric [TC]

It seems like this douchebag has had a change of heart. He's generously decided to let you be one of his teammates. Which Blue Team member will it be?

> Be Gamzee

>Gamzee

>>5284
>>5285

You are now GAMZEE MAKARA.

You have an acute ability to COMMUNE WITH THE MANY CREATURES OF ALTERNIA, a skill you have utilized to CAPTURE AND TRAIN a great many. They are all your friends, as well as your warriors, which you pit in battle through a variety of related CARD AND ROLE PLAYING GAMES. Chiefest among these is FIDUSPAWN, paraphernalia of which adorns your respiteblock.

You enjoy FAIRY TALES AND FANTASY STORIES, though not as much as a certain friend of yours. You are also fascinated by MAGIC, and hope to one day become a MIGHTY WIZARD like your idol, TROLL HARRY POTTER.

You enjoy a CERTAIN COLORFUL AND FIZZY BEVERAGE that you have been trying to introduce to your friends with limited success.

Your trolltag is torpidChivalric and you jUsT gOtTa Be LeTtInG tHe CaPiTaLiZaTiOn FlOw WhErE yOuR hEaRt'S aT, bRo.

You just finished talking to the leader of your team for a game you will be playing with your friends tonight. He reminded you that you still need to install the game.

What will you do?

>>5290

Chant magic spells furiously.

>>5291

You furiously chant as many magic spells as you can remember as hard as you can.

Nothing happens. You must be getting the pronunciation wrong or something... winGARdium leviOsa...

>try to turn lusus into a frog

>>5293

You equip a SHITTY WAND from your STRIFE SPECIBUS.

Your SATYR lusus is sitting on the floor where you left him with your unfinished game of FIDUSPAWN.

For good measure, you pick up TROLL J.K. ROWLING'S GUIDE TO WITCHCRAFT AND WIZARDRY and flip to the page about TRANSFROGRIFICATION.

You aim your SHITTY WAND at your lusus and chant the spell!

...nothing. Wow, that was a surprise.

The SHITTY WAND snaps in half. How shitty do you have to BE just to DO something like that? Luckily for you, you keep a huge pile of EQUALLY SHITTY WANDS in your closet.

>install game before bitch pants gets mad

>>5295

You sit down on the floor next to your lusus with your HUSKTOP. Hopefully it will be able to handle the specs of this game...

Well, it seems to be installing fine.
You are the last player in the BLUE TEAM chain, so you suppose you have some time to kill. What should you do now?

>>5296

>Open a memo and troll yourself.

>>5297

You're still a little rusty with memos. It's a relatively new Trollian feature. But you decide to give it a spin.

CURRENT torpidChivalric [CTC] RIGHT NOW opened memo on board TEN CULLS FROM GRYFFINDOR.

CTC: hElLo?
CTC: WhErE mY pAsT aNd FuTuRe BrOtHeRs Be At?
CTC: HuH... i'M sUrE i WoUlD pOsT iN a MeMo WiTh ThIs SoRt Of NaMe...
CTC: I gUeSs I wIlL tRy AgAiN lAtEr.
CTC: wHeN i Am... FuTuRe Me. ):)

CTC closed memo.

>Gamzee: All is right with the world.

>boil and bubble some faygo

>>5301

Hell yes.

You know what would really help a bro get his chill on right now?

>>5303

You go into your KITCHEN, where a POT OF ASSORTED FLAVORS OF FAYGO is bubbling on the stovetop. You're trying to figure out how to use ALCHEMY to turn WICKED ELIXIR into MAGICAL ELIXIR but it isn't going so well. It mostly just smells. Really bad.

...you really shouldn't have left that unattended. You wouldn't want your hive to burn down.

>put makeshift stirring spoon back in specibus

>>5307

You gingerly lift another SHITTY WAND from the boiling goop. It's... kinda gross and sticky, but at least it isn't broken. You tuck it away in your STRIFE SPECIBUS.

>talk to your server player on trollian

>>5309

You decide to check up on your server player.
You wouldn't want to fall behind, after all. As the last player, you're responsible for completing the chain. Your team leader warned you that time would be of the essence.

torpidChivalric [TC] began trolling automaticTenacity [AT]

TC: wHaT iS uP, mY fOuR-wHeElEd BrO?
TC: aRe YoU aLl Up AnD iN tHiS gAmE bUsInEsS yEt?
AT: uHH, nOT YET,
AT: i AM FINISHING THE, iNSTALLATION NOW,
TC: hAhA cHeErS bRo.
TC: LeT mE kNoCk BaCk A fRoStY bReW tO ThAt. ):)
AT: ]:)
AT: uHH,
AT: i DON'T THINK, mY LEGS WILL BE FINISHED IN TIME,
TC: i Am WiCkEd SoRrY tO hEaR tHaT, bRo.
TC: BuT tHeRe'S nO rUsH.
TC: iT'lL bE fInIsHeD wHeN iT's FiNiShEd, KnOw WhAt I mEaN?
AT: i, uHH,
AT: i GUESS, i DO,
AT: i AM, sTILL GOING TO TRY TO, fINISH THEM,
AT: bEFORE kANAYA, uHH, iS READY TO GO,
AT: i WILL, tROLL YOU WHEN IT'S YOUR TURN,
TC: aLlRiGhT bRo.
TC: I'lL bE wAiTiNg. ):)

automaticTenacity [AT] ceased trolling torpidChivalric [TC]

>commune with animals outside before you go

>>5312

You could use a breath of fresh air before you settle down for a hardcore gaming session.

You step outside your SMALL RURAL HIVE.
The TWO MOONS are shining and there is a nice breeze. It's too bad you will be cooped up inside the rest of the night!

Before you go back outside, you flex your psychic powers of ANIMAL COMMUNION.
Sure enough, a WILD ALTERNIAN BEAST answers your call! It appears to be a...

>an Owl.

>>5315

An OWL? What's that? It sounds like some sort of weird alien monster.
This is obviously an OWLOO, like the one TROLL HARRY POTTER has as a pet.

>Gamzee: Be regularbuddies with the owloo.

>>5317

You're buddies with all Alternia's creatures!
Compelled by your COMMUNION, the OWLOO perches on your head. Ouch. Those candy-corn talons kinda hurt.

>Gamzee: go back inside and bother someone else on Trollian

>offer OWLOO swig of faygo

>>5324

You return inside with the owloo still on your head and sit down with your husktop and an ice-cold bottle of Faygo from your THERMAL HULL.
You decide to troll someone. Who will it be?

>>5337

You offer the owloo a swig of your wicked elixir.
The owloo politely declines.

>>5338
>Gamzee: Troll yourself accidentally

>>5339

torpidChivalric [TC] began trolling torpidChivalric [TC]

TC: hEy BrO.
TC: hEy BrO.
TC: wHoA.
TC: wHoA.
TC: iS tHiS mE fRoM tHe FuTuRe? ):)
TC: iS tHiS mE fRoM tHe FuTuRe? ):)
TC: aW i GuEsS nOt.
TC: aW i GuEsS nOt.
TC: sEe YoU sOoN, mE.
TC: sEe YoU sOoN, mE.

torpidChivalric [TC] ceased trolling torpidChivalric [TC]

It keeps happening!
Seriously, this is like the second time this week you've done that.

>Take yourself off your own ChumpRoll. Then troll Vriska.

>>5341

You take your trolltag off the list.
Why did you even add yourself on Trollian anyway?
This is stupid.

You then troll one of your team members...
Well, you attempt to, anyway. ambivalentGrudge is offline.
Sgrub is supposed to be starting soon! You wonder what she is doing.

>Someone else: Play Punch-Out!!

> Be Vriska

>>5344

You are now VRISKA SERKET.

You have a penchant for BIFURCATION, in logic and in life. Your mutant mind is hounded with visions of your planet's looming annihilation. You suffer from sporadic and debilitating MOOD SWINGS that often verge on the SCHIZOPHRENIC. Because of this you are horribly INDECISIVE and you have a tendency to do things HALF-HEARTEDLY.

You are something of an APOCALYPSE BUFF, which is something you can be on Alternia. You are fascinated by end of the world scenarios, and enjoy constructing DOOMSDAY DEVICES for the hell of it. You are drawn to means of DARK PROGNOSTICATION and the advantages they offer. You utilize many BLACK ORACLES for this purpose. You also find them exceptionally helpful for making your day-to-day decisions.

Your trolltag is ambivalentGrudge and you have a 8it of an o8session with a certain num8er.

What will you do?

>Vriska: zap some stuff with your eye-lasers.

>glimpse into the future

>>5346

You blow a couple new holes in the wall of your respiteblock. Who cares about a draft. Not you.

>>5347

You close your eyes.
Predictable images of death and destruction flood your mind. Not even sopor slime completely dampens the visions.

>soak in recuperacoon and sulk

>>5351

You're good at sulking.
You crawl into your recuperacoon.

>chat with a friend at the same time

>>5354

>while levitating random stuff

>>5354

Why would you do that when you shut Trollian off so you wouldn't have to deal with her?

>>5355

You stick your arm out of the recuperacoon and levitate some MAGIC EIGHT BALLS from the huge pile in the corner of your room.

>elaborate on "her"

>>5358

You're talking about your lousy goddamn supportive moirail, of course.
Why does she have to be RIGHT about everything? Sometimes it sickens you. In fact, you feel a little queasy already.

>Swing into depression and start crying your eyes out.

>>5360

How could you think such terrible things about the only person who cares about you? You're the worst friend ever!
Your lip starts to quiver slightly. Why does she even put up with you?

>>5362

>Swing back in the other direction.

>>5363

Because she's a BUSYBODY, that's why!
She's so smug, thinking she has you all figured out. Like she can read you like one of her stupid rainbow-drinker books. You know better. You know you are DEEP AND MYSTERIOUS, like the sloshing cavities of your magic eight balls.

> Examine room

>fit of RAGE

>>5365

You crawl out of your recuperacoon to get a better look at your RESPITEBLOCK.

There is a window on the wall to your right, but the red and blue curtains have been pulled tightly shut.

Your computer station sits against the wall to your left, next to your respiteblock door.
Next to your computer is your most prized possession, your CRYSTAL BALL.

On the wall you are facing is a giant promotional poster for Troll Charles Dutton's upcoming book, DREAM BUBBLES. You've already pre-ordered your copy.

MAGIC EIGHT BALLS are stacked in huge piles in the corners of your room, and stray ones roll idly across the floor.

The remains of VARIOUS OTHER ORACLES you sought advice from clutter the room: burnt out candles, empty tea cups, troll tarot cards, scattered bone fragments, mirrors. On the ceiling of your respiteblock, you've painted the 48 CONSTELLATIONS OF THE TROLL ZODIAC. They GLOWN IN THE DARK.

Following your love of BIFURCATION, two of the walls of your room are painted RED. The other two walls are painted BLUE.

>>5366

In a fit of rage, you blast some more holes in your walls with your PSIONIC EYEBEAMS.
Shit. There goes your TROLL CHARLES DUTTON poster. That just makes you even angrier.

>PINGAS!

>Vriska: Talk with moirail.

>and get macked on by someone after

>>5372

Oh, all right. You admit that after losing Charles you could use a little mo(i)ra(i)l support. You sit down at your computer and log back into Trollian.
...gog dammit. She must've logged off after your little argument the way you did. That is so immature! You thought she was better than that.

You notice that someone else is online, though.
You love hassling this chick. It's one of the few things in life that can bring a smile to your face.

ambivalentGrudge [AG] began trolling grislyClairvoyant [GC]

AG: Hello Terezi.
GC: >:[
GC: WH1CH VR1SK4 4M 1 T4LK1NG TO
GC: NOT TH4T 1T M4TT3RS S1NC3 1 DON'T L1K3 T4LK1NG TO 31TH3R OF YOU
AG: Oh, you've hurt my feelings again.
AG: I only wanted to ask you a simple question.
AG: 8)
GC: >:?
AG: Have you 8een... sleeping well?
AG: Had anymore of your strange dreams?
GC: WHY 4R3 YOU SO 1NT3R3ST3D 1N MY DR34MS
GC: 1 KNOW YOU DON'T B3L13V3 WH4T 1 S4Y 4BOUT TH3M
GC: NOBODY DO3S
AG: That isn't true.
AG: There is some8ody who 8elieves.
AG: 8ut he would 8elieve anything you say, so may8e it doesn't count? 8)

grislyClairvoyant [GC] has blocked ambivalentGrudge [AG]

She blocked you again.
Not that it will stop you for long. You have a friend who is very good with computers. He's gotten you past her block filter before; he can do it again.

>>5386

You aren't exactly... a very popular troll.
Why would you be, with your weird-looking eyes and your sudden mood swings. And look at all the holes in your hive! The carpenter drones have to work overtime to keep up with you. You know some of your hivestem neighbors have complained. Really, it's a wonder you haven't been culled yet!
A sweep ago, a certain someone might have romantically solicited you over Trollian. But that's in the past. No use brooding over it now.

...who are you kidding, brooding is your favorite hobby.

>mourn loss of Charles

>>5393

You tearfully clutch the tattered remnants of your poster. Oh Charles. We barely knew ye.

...the wind blows through a hole on the opposite wall and tears the scrap from your hands, bearing it through the hole in front of you and away.

You hope he is moving on to a better place.

>Adventure: follow poster

>Pingas.

>>5396

You are now a FRAGMENT OF A TROLL CHARLES DUTTON PROMOTIONAL POSTER.

Recent events have ripped you from a boring life of comfort and advertising and propelled you into the world. Borne on the metaphorical winds of destiny, you travel into the unknown reaches of space.

What will you do?

>>5370
>>5397

You are now the AUTHOR OF THE ADVENTURE.
You sit at your computer and ponder how "pingas" can be turned into an action.

You are not successful.

>Poster: blow across Alternia, contemplate life

>Poster: Hit a troll in the face

>>5400

You are far from ALTERNIA now, having miraculously escaped the atmosphere of your home planet and entered deep space.
Even so, your journey leads you to contemplate deep subjects, such as the meaning of life. Why are you here? What is your purpose? How is a piece of paper sentient anyway?

These questions and more trouble your otherwise uneventful trip.

>>5401

You hit the windshield of an ALTERNIAN BATTLE CRUISER traveling through space.
Unfortunately, the confused pilot does not care about DREAM BUBBLES, and turns on the wipers. As you are ripped into shreds, you can feel your short-lived consciousness fading.

The last thought that crosses your mind, is "Why?"

>random troll: shed a single tear

>>5405

Somewhere on Alternia, a single tear is shed, for reasons unknown even to the troll shedding the tear.

>Nepeta: be relevant to these shenanigans.

>>5407

You fail to be relevant.
Geez, how could anyone expect you to be relevant to shenanigans of this magnitude?

Perhaps another member of the Blue Team would be more successful.

>tavros: try and finish those damn legs

>>5409

You are now TAVROS NITRAM.

You are known to be heavily arrested by FAIRY TALES AND FANTASY STORIES, considerably more so than a certain friend of yours. You have a profound fascination with the concept of FLIGHT, and all lore surrounding the topic. You believe in FAIRIES, and are convinced they are REAL.

You enjoy TINKERING WITH MACHINES and BUILDING ROBOTS. Lately this has combined with your other interests and led you to build FLYING FAIRY ROBOTS. You don't really do anything in particular with the robots once you finish them. Some of them are flying around your respiteblock.

You used to love GAMES, especially FLARP, in which you played as the challenging but rewarding high-level MAN SKYLARK class. The game itself was fun, but what you really enjoyed about it was spending time with a certain someone. However, you and that certain someone were involved in an UNFORTUNATE INCIDENT a sweep ago, in which you LOST THE USE OF YOUR LEGS as well as your desire to FLARP.

Despite this, you have decided to play a game with a team of your friends. You had been hoping that the ROBOTIC LEGS you were building for yourself would be finished before the game started, but it looks like you are almost out of time. You are currently trying your best to finish them in time.

What will you do?

>ask lusus for assistance

>>5411

You're pretty sure TINKERBULL will not be of much assistance in this endeavor.
Most of your tools weigh more than he does!

He is hovering behind you as moral support, however.

>examine apparatus

>examine robots

>Turn on some TROLL DAFT PUNK

>troll that certain someone

>Order some grubberoni and mushroom pizza.

>>5420

Hmm. You ARE pretty hungry, and grubberoni pizza sounds delicious right now. But you're on a deadline, and greasy hands are not going to make finishing these robot legs any easier.

>>5415

Ahh, TROLL DAFT PUNK. They have to be your absolute favorite band ever. Their music really speaks to you and your interests. You pull out your HUSKTOP and put on your favorite song, TECHNOLOGIC.

>>5413

Oh, you mean your FOUR-WHEELED DEVICE?
You built this device after the UNFORTUNATE FLARPING INCIDENT that cost you the use of your legs. With it, you are able to get around, but you're sure a pair of robotic legs would be even better.

>>5414

It's hard to examine them closely since they are fluttering up near the ceiling. They pretty much look like FAIRIES THAT ARE ROBOTS. Even though their wings flutter, they are actually flying with JET-PROPULSION. You just added the fluttering because you think it looks cool.

>>5416

Uhh, no.
After the UNFORTUNATE INCIDENT you and that certain someone stopped talking, and you're not really interested in talking to her. Ever. Again.
Since you are on the same team for this new game you are supposed to be playing tonight, you guess that you may end up talking to her in the near future. But you're planning to put it off for as long as you can.

>take apart robots, use spare parts

>>5427

Why would you do that?
Your ROBOTIC LEGS are fully built. They just aren't working properly yet because you haven't finished with the wiring. It requires a steady hand and a lot of time... which you don't have.

>BE NEPETA DAMMIT

>get a message from Nepeta

>>5430

You fail completely and utterly.
Nothing has been so spectacularily failed in any universe, ever, across all of space-time.

What made you think that a bull-horned, crippled nerd like yourself could be a cute fish-girl princess anyway?

>>5433

Someone trolls you on your husktop.

abdicatedCatfish [AC] began trolling automaticTenacity [AT]

AC: CE < tavros! glub glub!
AT: hELLO, nEPETA,
AT: aRE YOU SURE YOU SHOULD BE, tALKING TO ME,
AT: sINCE WE ARE, uHH, oN OPPOSING TEAMS,
AC: CE < i'm shore it will be fine!
AC: CE < if equius gets crabby about it he can glub all he wants.
AC: CE < i don't have to stop being friends with someone just because we are on different teams. :3
AT: ]:)
AT: i THINK, yOU WOULD BE A GOOD EMPRESS,
AC: CE < bluh! i reely don't want to be an empress.
AC: CE < i bet empresses never get to do anything fun.
AT: uHH, i SUPPOSE THAT IS PROBABLY TRUE,
AC: CE < did you finish your legs yet?
AT: nO, ]:(
AT: i DON'T THINK, tHEY WILL BE DONE IN TIME FOR THE GAME,
AC: CE < aw, i'm sorry!
AC: CE < i wish there was something i could do...
AT: iT'S OKAY,
AT: iT'S NOT LIKE, i NEED THEM TO PLAY THE GAME,
AC: CE < i guess so. but you were so excited about them! gluuuub.
AC: CE < uh oh, i think i hear equius coming.
AC: CE < i don't want him to yell at you so i'm going to close this!
AC: CE < good luck tavros! glub! :3
AT: gOOD LUCK, tO YOU AS WELL, ]:)

abdicatedCatfish [AC] ceased pestering automaticTenacity [AT]

What a nice girl.
It's a shame that guy makes it hard to talk to her. She can always cheer you up when you're feeling down.

>breakthrough: happen

>>5445

>Meteor: break through upstairs window

>Tavros: Make a note to yourself warning yourself to be careful of stairs when you eventually start field-testing your robolegs.

>be troll Tony Stark

>>5445

Suddenly, a breakthrough.
Eureka! You manage to cut some corners while still finishing the wiring. These legs are now fully operational!

...except...

Well, you kinda forgot to plan ahead for how you were supposed to get the legs on your body.

You initiate a FACEPALM 2x COMBO.
TINKERBULL throws in a tiny hoof for good measure.

>>5451

In addition to your sudden mechanical breakthrough, you suddenly feel the urge to address a safety concern. It will probably be difficult to navigate stairs while you are getting used to your legs.
You contemplate disabling the pelvic magnetron for the time being.

>>5453

That would be pretty cool. You probably would have built an entire robot suit for yourself if you'd had the time and resources. The fact that it took you practically a sweep to design and build these legs shows the level of dedication you have to your craft.

>Tavros: let your eyes wander to your work table. The bonesaw beckons.......

>Tell Sollux the bad news

>Tavros: Use a wire like a fake mustache. Be menacing.

>>5456

W-what?! There's no way you could...
But that serrated blade... so sharp...

You briefly wonder what you are doing with a bonesaw in the first place before you put the thought out of your mind.

>>5459

You try your best to be menacing, but this just feels silly. Even Tinkerbull isn't batting an eyelash.

>>5458

automaticTenacity [AT] began trolling twinnedArachnid [TA]

AT: sOLLUX,
AT: i, uHHH, fINISHED MY LEGS,
AT: ,,,aRE YOU, tHERE/
TA: what the fuck do you want
TA: ii'm a liittle bu2y here
TA: AA keep2 me22iing wiith my load gaper
AT: uHHH, tHAT SOUNDS, a LITTLE VULGAR,
TA: iit'2 riidiiculou2 ii2 what iit ii2
TA: 2o what do you want
AT: i THINK I AM GOING TO NEED HELP, tO ATTACH MY LEGS,
TA: well two fuckiing bad
TA: you are goiing two have two waiit untiil KA connect2 two you
TA: and hope 2he can do 2omethiing about it
TA: 2HIIT
TA: NOT MY ABLUTIION TRAP TWO

twinnedArachnid [TA] has ceased trolling automaticTenacity [AT]

Well, that didn't go quite as bad as you had expected.

>>5448

You hear the sound of breaking glass from somewhere above you. What is going on up there?

>go upstairs

>>5463

Tinkerbull follows faithfully as you roll up a series of ramps to get from your basement respiteblock/workstation to the ground floor of your hive.

A window is broken and there is a smoking crater in the floor.

>Tinkerbull: investigate crater
>Tavros: look out the window

>>5465

Tinkerbull flutters over to the crater while you wheel yourself to the broken window and peer out.
Wow. You've never seen so many shooting stars before. And there is a warm rosy glow in the horizon, even though it isn't anywhere close to dawn.

What is going on?

>tavros and tinkerbull: flip the FUCK out

>>5467

Tinkerbull informs you a meteor is what just crashed through your window.
The two of you then proceed to flip out in a dramatic fashion. It is a performance for the ages.

In your hive, you are the star.
It's you.

>Someone: Be witness to this flipping the fuck out.

>>5469

You'd like to, but you're too far away for that.

>Someone: Be generally nice.

>>5478

You're always nice!
Whoever you are.

>Someone: Reveal yourself and your interests.

>>5480

You're far too nice to refuse a request like that.

Your name is NEPETA LEIJON.

You are a SEA DWELLER. You have the most noble blood possible, the only of your kind known to possess it, and the only to share it with GL'BGOLYB, a deep sea monster also known as THE RIFT'S CARBUNCLE, EMISSARY TO THE HORRORTERRORS, or in more hushed tones, SPEAKER OF THE VAST GLUB.

This makes you the HEIR APPARENT for Alternian rulership, which ordinarily would place you in considerable jeopardy. HIS IMPERIAL CONDESCENSION would steer the flagship from the fleet and make an attempt on your life himself, if not for the protection of your monstrous lusus.

Well.

In your case, DESPITE the protection of your monstrous lusus.

You were only a sweep old when it happened. Thanks to your lusus's noble sacrifice and the intervention of someone who would become your BEST FRIEND, you survived. The Emperor returned to deep space none the wiser, but you have spent the last five sweeps in hiding.

It's not easy, living in constant fear. Especially when the Emperor's fears of REGISURP are quite unfounded. You harbor NO PLANS FOR THE THRONE. NONE OF THEM. You find royal life stuffy and overwhelming. You prefer to spend your time engaged in FRIENDLY ROLE-PLAYING. You would also like to engage in MORE DANGEROUS ROLEPLAYING with some of your friends, but you can't risk revealing your EXTRAORDINARILY ROYAL BLOOD.

You enjoy MATCHMAKING, although you are not as talented at it as a certain friend of yours. Regardless, you have scrawled ROMANTIC WALL COMICS FEATURING YOUR FRIENDS with CHALK gifted to you by another friend across the walls of your respiteblock.

Since your hive was destroyed in the Emperor's attack, you have since been living with your BEST FRIEND. He is A LITTLE BOSSY and some people wonder how you can put up with him. But someone has to look out for him.

Your trolltag is abdicatedCatfish and your speech CE < preseades itself with the shape of your lusus, who shellflessly sacrifished herself to save your life! glub! :3

What will you do?

>mourn deceased lusus

>Nepeta: die of internal bleeding

>Get a big coat to cover up that shirt with. Someone might see the colour on it!

>bat a ball of yarn around

>>5482

You would, if you could remember her.
You were so small when she died. You do know that she was a giant jellyfish that lived in the deepest part of the ocean, so you've styled your hair and your typing quirk in her memory.
Sometimes when you are missing her particularly much, your BEST FRIEND reminds you that even the act of coming to the surface to defend you from the Emperor was suicide for her, since her squishy body was accustomed to the pressure of the deep.

This doesn't really make you feel much better, but you appreciate that he's trying.

>>5487

You think a TRENCH COAT would be just about the coolest fashion statement ever, regardless of what a couple of your more stylish friends might say. And if you were wearing one it would certainly hide the EXTRAORDINARILY ROYAL COLOR of the symbol on your shirt. But your BEST FRIEND doesn't let you leave the hive, and you doubt even a trench coat could persuade him.

>>5490

You don't have yarn underwater... it would get all soggy! You bat around a ball of kelp instead. It's more fun than you were expecting.

>Think about your best friend.

>troll best friend.

>Nepeta: examine room

>>5495

You sit at your DESK with your DRAWING TABLET COMPUTER. There is an opened packet of CHALK on the desk, with the contents spilling out. They have all been well-used. Directly in front of you across your desk is a window overlooking the undersea vista. It's quite a nice view.

Against the wall behind you is your RECUPERACOON, nestled in a huge pile of plushie jellyfish pals you call JELLIES. A certain friend of yours with a penchant for sewing was kind enough to amass this treasure trove of impudent tentacles for you.

Despite being otherwise rather bare, the walls of your respiteblock are covered, top to bottom, with CHALK DRAWINGS you made yourself. The wall to your RIGHT, in particular, is your proudest achievement. It holds your SHIPPING GRID, which only covers the flushed half of the troll romantic quadrants, because you think blackrom is stupid. You have spent many a night pondering the OTPs of all of your friends. You often share your theories with a certain friend, but the two of you seem to have very different ideologies when it comes to love.

To your LEFT is the door of your respiteblock. It leads to a spiraling staircase that connects your tower to the rest of the castle-like hive.

>>5493

Your BEST FRIEND is THE MOST IMPORTANT PERSON to you. Other people think he is too controlling and grumpy, but you know the truth. He is just a big softy on the inside! It's true that you OWE HIM YOUR LIFE, but over the sweeps you've come to care about him for more than that. Besides, you like to think that he needs you, too. Who else would want anything to do with a snobby motherglubber like him?

>>5494

Thinking about him makes you want to troll him!
So you do.

abdicatedCatfish [AC] began trolling connivingTerminator [CT]

AC: CE < equius! glub glub! :3
CT: D --> Nepeta
CT: D --> What have I told you about this e%treme f00lishness
AC: CE < aww... you're no fin!
CT: D --> If you have something to say to me
CT: D --> You can come down from there and talk to me directly
CT: D --> In a manner befitting the royalty that you are
AC: CE < whatever! glub.
CT: D --> Don't you take that tuna voice with me
CT: D --> Glub
CT: D --> Drat now you have me doing it
CT: D --> Please pardon my manners

abdicatedCatfish [AC] ceased trolling connivingTerminator [CT]

CT: D --> Nepeta
CT: D --> What did I tell you about saying goodbye
CT: D --> Clearly those landdweller friends of yours are a poor influence

Ugh! Now you're kind of annoyed at him.

What will you do?

>Give your favorite Jelly a big squishy hug

>go downstairs. prepare to tackle-hug.

>Friend: Ruminate.

>>5497

You locate your favorite JELLY from the pile and give it a squeeze!
You're careful not to squeeze too hard though, because you don't want to break the treasure it is hiding for you.

>>5498

After replacing your JELLY FRIEND, you head downstairs to find your BEST FRIEND. Along the way, you mastermind an ambush with which to lure him into a TACKLE HUG. He is a wily opponent, however. You will need all your wits and cunning to make this happen.

>>5500

Meanwhile...

Elsewhere in the same hive, someone ruminates over a recent pesterlog on his TROLLSTATION PORTABLE.

>aw shit, lets be equius

>>5503

You are now EQUIUS ZAHHAK.

Flowing through your veins is nearly the richest blood the hemospectrum has to offer, penultimate on the scale. As such, you are also a SEA DWELLER, a sub-race of troll distinct from the commoners by mutation and habitat, a caste which rules over the entire species.

You are STRONG, although NOT FREAKISHLY SO. You would surely be the class of the elite legion of RUFFIANNIHILATORS. While such a calling would be quite honorable, you would prefer to join the ranks of the ARCHERADICATORS, perhaps the most noble echelon the imperial forces have to offer. Unfortunately, you SUCK AT ARCHERY. You have not successfully fired a SINGLE ARROW, because that is pretty hard to do UNDERWATER. The targets on the ARCHERY RANGE you built behind your hive remain untouched.

You have a great appreciation for THE FINE ARTS. You use your aristocratic connections to acquire PRICELESS MASTERPIECES, painted in the oldest and most respected Alternian tradition of NUDE SEAMUSCLEBEAST PORTRAITS. These striking depictions of the EXQUISITE UNDERSEA FAUNA native to Alternia remind you of the PUREST PHYSICAL IDEAL that must be sought by anyone who professes highblood status.

Your trolltag is connivingTerminator and you D --> Preface your speech with the noble symbol of a bow and arrow.

What will you do?

>flap your cape and squawk like a parrot

>Equius: admire TROLLSTATION game collection

>>5505

W-what? You don't even know what a parrot is, and yet... that thought is so... tempting...

>>5506

Your TROLLSTATION PORTABLE is not for vulgar, lowblood games!
You use it to store photos of your FINE ART COLLECTION, as well as to communicate with your friends over TROLLIAN.

>examine the royal hive

>Have disdain for the land dwelling lowbloods.

>>5509

You have all the disdain. All of it.
Landdwellers should know their place.
The ones that are worthy of being called your friends, do.

>>5508

You look around your RESPITEBLOCK.

Pieces of FINE ART adorn every wall. You have amassed quite the impressive collection.

In one corner of the room is a PILE OF SHITTY BOWS. You've gone through so many, trying to fire an arrow. You have yet to discover a bow that will work underwater. There are a few stray bows scattered across the floor as well.

In the corner across from the bows is your RECUPERACOON.

Stacked against the walls and in the other corners of your room, are TREASURE CHESTS and PILES OF GOLD COINS. You keep most of your wealth in a vault in the basement, but you used some of it in your personal decorating, both to remind yourself of how high-class you are, and to impress your friends.

>Equip super sexy legendary weapon

>>5511

You equip ARTEMIS'S TALON, a legendary bow, from your BOWKIND strife specibus.

...or you would, if that weapon even existed.
Man, it sounded so cool in your head.
It would probably work underwater, too.

Oh well.

Since bows are pretty useless for you, your STRIFE PORTFOLIO contains FISTKIND as well as BOWKIND.

>prep your server client on trollian

>>5510

>Equius: Be unable to stop thinking about one landdweller who does not know her place.

>Equius: call on lusus for refreshments

>>5513

Even though she was just talking to you, now she won't respond. What is she doing up there? Your shenanigan sense is tingling.

>>5514

You... can't really think of anyone like that.

>>5515

Your lusus is a SEAHORSE. He is a mighty and noble steed, but not much of a butler.
You're OK with it, though. You're not obsessed with being strong, so drinking a glass of lusus milk a day is not a priority for you.

>stroke chin and plan for victory

Equius: Go check on Nepeta, fall into her "trap".

>go check on Nepeta

>>5516

>Be pestered by someone like that.

>>5518
>>5519

You decide to go check on Nepeta and see what trouble she's gotten herself into this time. It's always something with that girl.

>>5517

Along the way, you stroke your chin and think about the competition that lies ahead. You don't know very much about GAMES, but there's no glubbing way you're going to let that uppity blueblood get the better of you.

>>5522

Well, that uppity blueblood doesn't know his place, if that counts. And he's trolling you.

twinnedArachnid [TA] began trolling connivingTerminator [CT]

TA: hey equiiu2
TA: how'2 liife over there iin lo2erviile
TA: ii hear the weather ii2 great thii2 tiime of year
CT: D --> What do you want you b100b100d scum
TA: oh you know me
TA: ju2t checkiing two 2ee iif my competiitiion'2 made iit iintwo the game yet
TA: iit wouldn't be much of a challenge iif you never even made iit iin
CT: D --> The Red Team has not yet entered the Medium
CT: D --> Once I find Nepeta we will begin immediately
TA: yeah about that
TA: ii have a word of friiendly adviice for you
CT: D --> What is it
TA: 2he need2 two be at her own hiive two enter the mediium
TA: have fun wiith that
TA: 2nobby a22hole

twinnedArachnid [TA] ceased trolling connivingTerminator [CT]

The advice is troubling.
So troubling, that when you reach the spiral staircase that will take you to Nepeta's tower, you are too busy looking at your TSP to notice a trap that has been carefully laid for you.

>Trap: Be sprung.

>Ruminate on your teammates.

>>5531

Hiding behind this SOLID GOLD SEAMUSCLEBEAST STATUE was a brilliant idea!

You launch a TACKLE HUG ATTACK.

Equius never stood a chance.

>>5533

Lying on your back in a very undignified position with a cute fish-girl sitting on your chest doesn't seem like the best time to ruminate on your team members!

Regardless...

NEPETA was the first, seeing as her desire to play a game with her friends was what spurred you into participation as her team leader.

KARKAT was the next obvious choice. Despite his green blood, he has class, and other trolls seem drawn to him for some reason. Also, Nepeta requested that he be invited to the Red Team.

TEREZI... you don't know very much about her, but Nepeta has apparently role-played (the friendly kind) with her before, and Terezi also sent Nepeta some chalk as a gift. Her romantic connections to Karkat also contribute to your opinion of her.

FEFERI was chosen for her blood color. Despite being a landdweller, her blood is purplish in hue. While she doesn't seem like she will be much of a credit to team due to her absent-mindedness and pacifistic nature, you're hopeful that she and Nepeta will become friends. That girl really needs some companionship from trolls closer to her royal status.

ERIDAN joined the Red Team because you knew he'd do anything you say. You find him useless, otherwise.

>Nepeta: ask about when the games begin

>Meteors: begin undersea voyage

>Equius: strong scold, then tell Nepeta about the dilemma

Just dropping by to say I really like your characterization of each Troll with their new blood status. Putting this on my follow list.

>Kanaya: Suddenly become relevant

>anon: perform CPR on adventure

>>5537
>>5550
>>5538

"Hehehe! Gotcha, Equius~"
"Urgh... get off of me, Nepeta. This is no way for the future Empress to behave."

Nepeta makes a face, but obeys.

"Hey, hey, when can we start playing Sgrub?"
"Right now."
"What!? Did the others start without us?"
"The Blue Team is already in the Medium. Which means we have to hurry. We may be deep underwater but the meteors will reach us eventually... and our teammates have even less time to waste."
"I'll go get it running on my computer the-"
"No! Wait."
"What's wrong, Equius? You said we need to hurry!"
"Yes, but... there's a problem."

Before Equius can explain, however...

>>5560

...someone decides to troll him.

>Kanaya: a-blah a-blah

>>5854

gleefulArbitrator [GA] began trolling connivingTerminator [CT]

GA: He He He
CT: D --> Maryam
CT: D --> What do you want, I am preoccupied at the moment
GA: Why Do I Always Have To Want Something
GA: I Can't Just Be Concerned About My Friends
CT: D --> You are a member of the Blue Team
GA: Sollux May Have Invited Me
GA: But We Both Know I Am A Little Too Teal For Bluebloods' Tastes
GA: Besides
GA: If I Wasn't On The Blue Team
GA: I Wouldn't Be Able To Help You
CT: D --> That is true
CT: D --> The information you've shared from Captor about Sgrub has been invaluable
CT: D --> Although I hope I am not too late to save the rest of the Red Team from the meteors
CT: D --> What about you
CT: D --> Have you entered
GA: No Not Yet
GA: I Had Trollian Off For A While
GA: But I Was Worried About You
GA: Now Everyone Is Trolling Me
GA: I Wonder What She Wants
GA: She Logged Off First
CT: D --> I won't keep you
CT: D --> I need to get Nepeta to her hive
GA: Don't Worry Equius
GA: She Will Be Okay
GA: She Is Stronger Than You Think
CT: D --> Thank you Maryam
CT: D --> Farewell

connivingTerminator [CT] ceased trolling gleefulArbitrator [GA]

>Be the tealblood. Gentlelady, start your meddling.

>>5861

You are now KANAYA MARYAM.

You have a slight resistance to the BLISTERING ALTERNIAN SUN, although you do not particularily enjoy the feel of its rays. Because of your CRIPPLING INSOMNIA, you have taken to wearing SUNGLASSES to protect your sensitive eyes.

However, that is not the only reason you don your stylish eyewear. You are one of the few of your kind whose affection for the aesthetic strongly overpowers instinctive regard for the utilitarian. As such, you are one of the few of your kind who has developed a zeal for FASHION and DESIGN and LIVELY COLORFUL PATTERNS. You decorate your hive as delicately or aggressively as inspiration demands.

Due to your condition you take an acute interest in the HEINOUS BROODS OF THE UNDEAD which crawl from the sand at sunrise to feast on the light and the living. You indulge in this bright fascination with the grim through literature. Just before the sun goes down, you immerse yourself in tales of RAINBOW DRINKERS and SHADOW DROPPERS and FORBIDDEN PASSION.

Almost as acute is your interest in MATCHMAKING. A certain friend who is good with computers created a program at your request with which you obsessively indulge your desire to PAIR UP YOUR FRIENDS. Unlike another friend of yours who shares your interest, you fill ALL THE QUADRANTS. ALL OF THEM. You like to think that your matchmaking predictions are pretty spot-on.

Your trolltag is gleefulArbitrator and you Enunciate Each Word Clearly And Carefully.

Normally you would be asleep right now, but you made it a point to stay up in order to play a game with a group of your friends. Two of whom are messaging you right now on Trollian.

What will you do?

>>5876

Chat with the one we haven't been introduced to yet, if there is one. If not, pick at random.

> Do some matchmaking. It's never a bad time for shipping!

>retrieve chainsaw from safe

>>5899

You retrieve your CHAINSAW from your STRIFE SPECIBUS. The perfect weapon for fighting the UNDEAD HORDES that lurk in the daylight.

There's no need to hide it in a safe.
Or even sillier, in a tube of lipstick.

>>5888

As you stare at the two flashing Trollian windows on your screen, you feel a familiar urge.
You really shouldn't. But addiction is a powerful thing.

Matesprits? Well, they both have the red-and-blue thing going on. And while they may not be great friends, they respect each others' abilities. Yessssss.

Kismesises? ...nah. They are too busy fighting other trolls to waste time fighting each other. I mean, a rivalry with that kismetic potential right in their faces, and no action? No.

Moirails? No way! They both already have one! And those matches are perfect. Or should you say, "purrfect."

Auspistice? If they were only a little blacker for each other, you would be able to offer your own services. Such a shame, but no.

>>5878

Even though she logged out on you earlier, thinking about quadrants reminds you of your commitment to one of the chumps messaging you.
So you answer her.

ambivalentGrudge [AG] began trolling gleefulArbitrator [GA]

AG: Kanaya.
AG: Kanaya.
AG: Kanaya!
AG: K8N8Y8 I know you're there.
AG: Stop 8eing a 8itch already!
GA: Calm Down Vriska
GA: I Was Talking To Someone
AG: Equius, right?
GA: ...
AG: I know you're colla8orating with him.
AG: I know everything, remem8er?
AG: It's why Sollux invited me to the team.
AG: Which means...
AG: It's also why he invited YOU. 8)
GA: Just Don't Tell Him Okay
AG: Kanaya, I'm shocked!
AG: How could you accuse your 8est friend of such a thing.
GA: Are You Feeling All Right
GA: You Seem Wound Up
GA: Do You Need Me To Come Over, I Can Postpone My Entry
AG: No, that won't 8e necessary.
AG: In fact, tell Sollux we will 8e switching places in the entry order.
GA: What
GA: Why Would You
GA: Oh
GA: Vriska I Thought You Were Done With Him
AG: 8lah 8lah 8lah!
AG: I know Sollux is messaging you right now, so just 8e a good girl and tell him!
GA: What If I Don't
AG: Oh my dear Kanaya.
AG: I can see EVERYTHING, remem8er?
AG: 8)

ambivalentGrudge [AG] blocked gleefulArbitrator [GA]

Well.

>wonder why you put up with that bitch anyway

>>5905

Yeah, why do you put up with her? She's such a handful!
Someone needs to look out for a dangerous troll like her, though. And if not you, who?

Besides.

You've always nurtured the hope that when the Imperial Drone arrives for the next brood and she finds herself quadrantless (in a certain red quadrant of the flushed nature) she will realize that her OTP has been there all along.

This sort of thing happens in your RAINBOW DRINKER literature all the time.

>plot revenge for "him"

>>5909

That would be the obvious course of action, but... "he" also happens to be one of your friends, as well as one of your teammates.

You can't blame him for what happened.
It's... complicated.

>recall these events dramatically to the readers

>>5913

It was a sweep ago, though it feels longer.

You've known Vriska practically since the two of you ascended to the surface with your lusii. Back then, the two of you were so close. What moirails should be. And Vriska... Vriska was different. She was happy. You can still remember the last time you saw her smile without any malice behind it.

Of course, she was with HIM. They were perfect together. Their redrom was legendary among their sweepmates, as was their skill as a FLARP team. She was a SEAGRIFT, he was a SKYLARK. TEAM STING. Anyone pitted against them would know the bitter sting of failure.

Maybe you were a little jealous, sure.
...maybe even more than a little jealous.
But you weren't behind it.

The Unfortunate Incident.

Team Sting versus Team Fang.

Since you weren't there yourself (you never did develop a taste for games, be they for girls or for boys) you're still a little fuzzy on the exact details. Team Fang was good. They put up more of a fight against Team Sting than any FLARP campaign had in ages. But Sting was still better. And then, right when they had them cornered, right when victory was just a stinger-tipped tail stroke away,

she snapped.

She threw her teammate, her matesprit, off the cliff instead of her opponents. It was like she had transformed into a different person. She wasn't flushed for him anymore. There were spades in her eyes. Team Fang was barely able to contain her until you arrived, and luckily her perception of you had not changed.

But you found yourself in a new role, as an auspistice as well as a moirail. Her feelings towards the one she had once loved kept fluctuating between red and black, and it took everything you had to keep her under control, to keep her from finishing the job. Time healed some wounds, but it could not heal all.

You feel so stupid.
How could you let her convince you it was finally over?
You should have known better.

>ruminate about the Blue team and/or the Red team

>Consider warning tavros

> Consider warning Team Fang, in case Vriska needs to be restrained again.

>>5927

Team Fang disbanded after that campaign.
Karkat in particular seemed shaken by what happened.
The team captain, however...
You decide to kill two feathered lusii with one stone.

twinnedArachnid [TA] began trolling gleefulArbitraitor [GA]

TA: KA plea2e make your2elf u2eful and get that 2tupiid moiiraiil of your2 onliine
TA: ii don't thiink 2he appreciiate2 that we're on a deadliine here
TA: a very dead liine
TA: ok nevermiind here 2he ii2
GA: Sollux Don't Bother
GA: She Wants To Switch Order With Me
TA: ii2 that why 2he's iignoriing me
TA: ugh 2he ii2 2uch a fuckiing biitch 2ometiimes
TA: iif maniipulatiion worked on her more than half the tiime ii'd 2pliit my power2
GA: Could You Really Do That
TA: well ii have vii2iion eiightfold
TA: twofold
TA: iit could probably work
TA: but 2he already ha2 2omeone two paciify her
GA: I Know
GA: I Think I Should Tell Tavros She Is Switching Places With Me
GA: To Be His Server Player
TA: hurry up then
TA: ii wiill be your 2erver when you're ready

twinnedArachnid [TA] ceased trolling gleefulArbitrator [GA]

>>5926

gleefulArbitrator [GA] began trolling automaticTenacity [AT]

GA: Tavros
GA: Tavros Are You There
GA: I Guess You Must Still Be Working On Your Legs
GA: I Wanted To Warn You That Vriska Switched Places With Me
GA: She Will Be Acting As Your Server Player Instead
GA: I'm Sorry Tavros

gleefulArbitrator [GA] ceased trolling automaticTenacity [AT]

>>5925

You think about your fellow members of the Blue Team.

SOLLUX is the team leader and a gaming veteran. He's creepy and dangerous and a spidery asshole, but you admit that being friends with him (and being on his team) has it's perks. He seems to trust you... at least, he doesn't seem aware of your duplicity.

ARADIA is Sollux's moirail. She enjoys roleplaying even more than Nepeta, using it in every Trollian conversation. It's strange, because aside from the roleplaying she seems like a perfectly average troll girl. But there's something off about her that you just can't put your finger on. She's also one of the newest of your friends.

VRISKA is your moirail, and an incredibly dangerous schizophrenic psionic. You love her despite that. You've known her almost your whole life and you remember who she used to be, even if no one else does.

TAVROS is Vriska's ex-matesprit and FLARP partner. He's an all-around nice troll, maybe even TOO nice, given the particularly noble shade of his BLUE BLOOD. Ever since the incident with Vriska he's spent most of his time cooped up in his hive, building robots.

GAMZEE is a close friend of Tavros, but you don't know him especially well. You do know that his BROWN BLOOD gives him the psychic ability of ANIMAL COMMUNION, which is probably why Sollux invited him to the team.

>find your lusus

>>5939

Your lusus left as soon as the sun went down, as he does every evening. During the day, he sleeps near the entrance to your cave-like hive as a deterrent to any undead who might possibly develop a thirst for your blood.
He's a dragon. He hatched somewhere in the subterranean brooding caverns not long before you did, and the two of you have grown up together. Like most members of his particular species, he was born blind, and his eyesight has gradually improved, although he still relies more on his sense of smell than anything else.

>get pestered by the indigo girl

> see if the Red Team has started entering the medium

>>5950

You just finished talking to Equius a few minutes ago! You're pretty sure that it will take longer than that for Nepeta to travel to the remains of her hive.

>>5947

Besides, someone else is trolling you.
Hmm. What could she want?

carelessConformity [CC] began trolling gleefulArbitrator [GA]

CC: Kanaya! 38)
GA: Hello Feferi
CC: Are you FR---E---E tonig)(t?
CC: Want to come over? I baked some fres)( pie!
CC: Maybe we can even go skinny-dipping!
GA: Um
CC: )(--E--E )(---E---E! It will be okay if it's just us girls!
GA: I'm Sorry Feferi
GA: But I Have Plans For Tonight
GA: And So Should You
CC: O)()()(... 38(
CC: Do you mean Sgrub?
GA: Yes
CC: I am t)(e second-to-last in t)(e c)(ain.
CC: So it will be a w)(ile before ---Eridan is ready for me!
CC: I'm so bored... I wonder w)(at I s)(ould do?
GA: Are You Fully Prepared For The Game
GA: As I Understand It Is Quite Intense
CC: Don't be silly Kanaya!
CC: ---EV---ERYT)(ING I could possibly need is rig)(t )(ere!
CC: In fact, I t)(ink I will go )(ave some delicious pie! It s)(ould be cool by now.
CC: BY---E Kanaya!

carelessConformity [CC] ceased trolling gleefulArbitrator [GA]

...phew. Her enthusiasm can be endearing, but you never know quite what to say to that girl.

> Be Aradia.

>tell Sollux you're ready

>Fall down all these buckets.

>>5980

The AUTHOR is appalled by your lewd suggestion!
This adventure is rated CG-6* for your information.

*Custodial Guidance required for viewers under 6 sweeps

>>5979

While those two get down to business...

>>5953

My, who is this young lady?

>pussy magnet

>>5985

That's right. You are now ARADIA MEGIDO.

You live in a HIVE that is nothing like a CAVE, although you seem to remember living in a cave in the past. You like to engage in FRIENDLY ROLE PLAYING, but not the DANGEROUS KIND. Never the DANGEROUS KIND. It's too DANGEROUS! Trolls can get hurt that way.

Your hive is across the canyon from your BEST FRIEND'S hive. He's only been your BEST FRIEND for about a sweep, but it feels like you've known him your whole life! He's the one who rescued you from your dangerous daily routine of prowling the wilderness for GREAT BEASTS, stalking them and taking them down with nothing but your SHARP CLAWS AND TEETH. You used to take them back to your cave to eat them, and sometimes WORE THEIR PELTS for fun. Now you simply use all your old pelts for decorating.

Despite your BEST FRIEND'S efforts, your dreams still frequently drift to EXCITING TALES FROM THE HUNT, even though it has been a long time.

Your trolltag is abominableApparition and there is a purrn0unced h0ll0wness in y0ur speech.

You're playing a game with your BEST FRIEND, but he's busy at the moment.

What will you do?

>walk around hive in boredom

>>5987

You pace around your RESPITEBLOCK a few times.

You almost trip over the BEASTSKIN RUGS on the floor when you look up to admire the collection of MOUNTED HORNS on your walls.

You also almost trip over your lusus.
Oops, sorry Pounce.

> Identify BEST FRIEND, and see if they're still busy

>>5989

You sit down at your computer and open Trollian.

abominableApparition [AA] began trolling twinnedArachnid [TA]

AA: *the p0uncebeast creeps carefurly onto the spider's web*
AA: *she is so carefurl that there is no way he will be able to feel that she is coming*
AA: *he remains compurrletely unawares until she is almost on top of him!*
AA: ...s0llux??
AA: s0llux you purromised you would play with me later
AA: and it's later n0w
AA: s0lluxxxxxx!

Grrr. You bite down on your faux tail in furustration. You can't stand it when he ignores you like this!

>pester secret crush

>>5993

You just tried that!
It doesn't look like he is going to answer you any time soon.

>pester secret hate crush?

>clean strife specibus

> Pester Nepeta for some roleplaying

>>5995

You consider all the trolls you know.
Hmmm. You don't really have a hate crush. In fact, you don't think you've ever hated anyone before. Your Saccharine Disposition sure does get in the way of troll romance.

>>5996

You equip your CLAWS from your CLAWKIND strife specibus and-

...what?

That's strange. Your CLAWS are covered in smears and stains of multi-colored blood.
How did that get there?

Naturally, your STRIFE SPECIBUS is also bloodstained, so you fuck around for about half an hour cleaning this mess up. By the time you finish you still have no idea how that blood got there, though.

>>5998

Oh yesssss!
Nepeta is the only troll among your friends who truly understands the ART of FRIENDLY ROLE PLAYING. If only Equius would let you talk to her more often!
You decide to try trolling her.

abominableApparition [AA] began trolling abdicatedCatfish [AC]

AA: *the p0uncebeast pawses 0n the riverbank t0 admire her refurlecti0n*
AC: CE < *a cute catfish lurking in the depths sees a shadow and swims stealthily to the surface!*
AA: *the p0uncebeast dips a paw int0 the water playfurly t0 summ0n her furiend*
AC: CE < *the catfish pokes her head out of the water and squirts the p0uncebeast in the face*
AC: CE < hi aradia!
AA: *the p0uncebeast gently reminds her furiend t0 stay in character*
AC: CE < oops
AC: CE < *the catfish apologizes for her mistake but she is a little distracted*
AA: distracted??
AC: CE < yes, sorry! i'm playing a game with equius!
AC: CE < it's so much fin, i think it's the same game you are playing with sollux but we are on different teams!
AA: 0h
AA: that makes me sad, i'd rather be 0n the same team as y0u nepeta
AC: CE < aw! i'd like to be on a team with you too! glub. :3
AC: CE < but don't worry, we can still have fun together even if we are on different teams.
AA: i h0pe s0
AA: s0llux didn't seem t0 want me to talk t0 members 0f the red team
AA: but he's ign0ring me s0 i d0n't really care what he wants
AA: 0w0
AC: CE < heehee!
AC: CE < i'm shore he isn't ignoring you!
AC: CE < he is probably just a little distracted right now too.
AA: maybe
AC: CE < i had better get back to the game now, but it was nice to talk to you aradia!
AC: CE < good luck! glub!
AA: g00d luck

abdicatedCatfish [AC] ceased trolling abominableApparition [AA]

>fuck around on the computer

> Pester another friend. The one who hides their blood color.

>get some LEAVES

>>6112

OH YESSSSSSSS! YOU LOVE LEAVES.
When you used to live in the ALTERNIAN WILDERNESS, you and your lusus slept in a pile of leaves during the day. When your BEST FRIEND/SECRET CRUSH found you and moved you into this hive he made you sleep in a recuperacoon, but you miss the leaves sometimes.

Unfortunately you do not have any leaves in your respiteblock. The last time you tried to hide some your BEST FRIEND/SECRET CRUSH found and got rid of them. It's hard, adapting to normal society. It's hard and nobody understands.

>>6022

You minimize TROLLIAN and direct your web browser to the best site on the ALTERNIAN WORLD WIDE WEB, MSPAINTADVENTURES. The current adventure about a group of twelve troll friends playing a video game together is pretty cool, but you're not sure how you feel about the adventure's recent segue into the lives of four weird pink aliens.

>>6023

After fucking around online for a while, you get bored again and decide to troll someone else. Him? Nah. Her? Definitely not. Hmm, what about her? You think she is pretty cool, regardless of what your BEST FRIEND/SECRET CRUSH seems to think. This is mostly because you know she ROLE PLAYS with Nepeta and is apparently pretty good at it. However, you have yet to successfully convince her to try it with you. It is furustrating, but maybe today could be the day.

abominableApparition [AA] began trolling grislyClairvoyant [GC]

AA: *aradia wiggles her rump and slinks stealthily under terezi's desk*
GC: H3Y 4R4D14
AA: *she gr0wls and sharpens her claws 0n the carpurret*
AA: *0r maybe 0n 0ne of th0se plush t0ys that l00k like s0 much fun*
GC: B4D K1TTY, SC4L3M4T3S 4R3 OFF L1M1TS >:]
AA: bluh! terezi why d0n't y0u ever r0leplay with me??
GC: B3C4US3 1 DON'T ROL3PL4Y
AA: *the p0uncebeast hisses furr0ci0usly*
AA: that's a lie! i kn0w y0u r0leplay with nepeta!
GC: DON'T T3LL H3R 1 S41D TH1S BUT 1 ONLY DO 1T 1RON1C4LLY
AA: y0u mean like h0w kanaya reads rainb0w drinker b00ks?
GC: NO 1 M34N 4CTU4L 1RONY, B3C4US3 K4N4Y4 1SN'T FOOL1NG M3 >;]
AA: 0w0 ??
GC: N3V3RM1ND
GC: D1D YOU W4NT SOM3TH1NG
AA: i'm s00000000 bored, i'm the last in the blue team chain and it's taking f0rever
GC: 1'M SUR3 YOU C4N F1ND SOM3TH1NG TO DO
GC: OR 4SK N3P3T4 TO ROL3PL4Y W1TH YOU, 1'M SUR3 SH3 WOULD
GC: 1'M BUSY G3TT1NG R34DY 4ND 1 PROB4BLY SHOULDN'T B3 T4LK1NG TO YOU 4NYW4Y
GC: SO BY3

grislyClairvoyant [GC] ceased trolling abominableApparition [AA]

Furustration... mounting...

> Try and message Feferi.

>RIP AND TEAR