==>

A young Alternian conqueror is hit on the battlefield. Injury is common, and death even more so. Thankfully, while painful, whatever hit the soldier isn't quite enough to break his armor; he fares better than some of his fellow trolls. His FAUX CARAPACE does well to protect him.
==>

The soldier falls back, shouting for his comrades to mind their business and cover him. They respond irritably. He's sorry, he swears this is the last fucking time, and he swears someday, it'll be their ass and he'll be the hero.

They don't have the time or mind to argue with him.
==>

But today isn't and wasn't that day.

The injury isn't serious, and his allies are well aware of this fact. Regardless, this soldier had to fall back, and this isn't his first time doing this. If only his skin could be made of some kind of incredible titanium stronger than his insecurity or paranoia. He may as well be culled on principle of this predictable behavior. But somehow, he still survives.
==>

Unfortunately, he can't risk the alternative.

It just so happens that today, the 16th bilunar perigee of the 9th dark season's equinox, is the day of this troll's larval awakening, also known as his wriggling day. This day never mattered, and it matters especially less today.

Sometimes, though he'd never admit it for fear of having an embarrassment aneurysm, he wishes he would die on those fucking battlefields since he can't afford to pull his own weight. But he knows that's theatrical over-worked nonsense; this maturing troll still has hope, fiercely in his bloody clutches. The odds of his survival grow more slim with every day he matures, but his hope and desire to live both somehow remain.

Do you recall the name of this troll?
==>Reader: >Recall and enter name.

>>859

>Karkat Vantas, or Asswad McDoucheface, whichever you prefer at this moment in time. How you been, dude?

>Karukatto Bantasu

(omg im so excited YOU DONT EVEN KNOW...)

>KARKAT GRUBFUCKING VANTAS, BITCH.

>>860
>>861
>>862
YOU'RE ALL FUCKING IDIOTS. THERE IS NO ASSWAD MCDOUCHEFACE GRUBFUCKER DESU HERE.

This grubfucking mcdoucheface asswad can't believe the author actually allowed for that opening!! He is insulted, utterly repulsed, right down to the bottom of his indignant hatred barfpouch.

>>863
Your name is KARKAT VANTAS. Just Karkat Vantas. And for the record, you are and have been doing fucking terribly since the day you had the misfortune of hatching. Thanks for asking.

Today is a MONUMENTALLY DISGUSTING DAY you wish you could cleanse from your hideous memory retention sponge so you wouldn't have the displeasure of acknowledging it. Despite the gravity of this terrible day, it barely weighs as significant enough to be worth mentioning. It is an anniversary, if anything, to lament the faults of your existence, of which there are assuredly plenty.

Equally plenty, and somewhat related to that topic, are your INTERESTS. You still have a passion for RIDICULOUSLY TERRIBLE ROMANTIC MOVIES AND ROMCOMS. You STILL should really be EMBARRASSED for liking this DREADFUL CINEMA, but for some reason you still are not. You still like to program computers, but you are still NOTORIOUSLY PRETTY AWFUL AT IT. In fact, you haven't TRULY GOTTEN ANY BETTER. Your programs still invariably damage the machines on which they are executed, which is just as well, since you still like to believe you specialize in COMPUTER VIRUSES. You've matured, and you still aspire to join the ranks of the most lethal members of your society, THE THRESHECUTIONERS. And yet, here you are: a foot soldier. That you were drafted without POST-EXAM CULLING for your inadequacies is a fucking miracle. Except not at all, because it was a complicated ordeal you had to orchestrate yourself with the help of a friend. In the near future, you will DO THIS AGAIN.

Unfortunately, your hideous HEMOCASTE MUTATION has prevented you from easily climbing the ranks to your desired position, but you are still trying. As you've grown, it's become INCREASINGLY DIFFICULT TO HIDE YOUR SECRET and thus SURVIVE. You were incredibly naïve to believe you could make it as a Treshecutioner by now. Today, you're an ADULT TROLL. Today, by standard of troll society, you've OFFICIALLY MATURED. This means a lot of terrible things, but ultimately, it means in the figurative eyes of your FROTHING DIPSHIT OF A PAST 6 SWEEP KARKAT, you are A FUCKING FAILURE.

Somehow, you still like to chat it up with some of your other troll pals, most of which who still drive you BATSHIT UP THE FUCKING BELFRY. You don't talk to everyone, though; you've lost touch with a lot of your idiot chums, but they gossip enough for you to get a glimpse into a badly drawn full picture. Your trolltag is still carcinoGeneticist and you still speak in a manner that STILL BELIES YOU AS A COMPLETE FUCKING DOUCHEBAG ALMOST EXCLUSIVELY AT ALMOST ALL TIMES.

This is real life, and it's not a fucking game.

You are a grown man, which is way harder than being a kid and growing up.

All of your childish dreams are retconned today. All of your furious ambition is put to a nervous halt. Your life, at this moment, is on a terrifying, hazy stand-still. It hits you all at once as you sit and bleed in your assigned JOINT RESPITE BLOCK, and later, you will surely be reprimanded for falling back so early.

You don't want to think about it.

What will you do?

hey it only took me 4 reposts to get this one right, YAY

>Contact one of your old pals so we can inevitably see what they're up to.

>troll sollux. let's see how he's doing too!

>get back on the field, ya huge wimp. you got a gorgeous pair of legs waitin for your return.

>mourn the loss of your old pal Tavros as your wounds heal

>examine wound.

>Patch it up with rom-com posters.

>Assess roommate's status to assure they are okay with your blood colour.

This is already the greatest fan adventure I've ever seen. Or it will be, anyways, if it runs for long enough. I got all giddy during his introduction.

>>874
That is the stupidest fucking thing you can recall thinking in a really long time, and you hate yourself a little more for it. Your ROMCOM posters hardly deserve such a fate! Besides, even though it's a big mess right now, the bleeding seems to have stopped.

There's something pressing on your mind, but you can't put your finger on it. You should be doing something.

OK I'm off to work! I'll illustrate/write more responses when I return!

>>880
>Quick! Wash the blood off before anyone sees!

>Karkat: Suddenly remember what you're supposed to be doing

OR

>Karkat: get trolled by a SUSPICIOUSLY FAMILIAR FEMALE

> Karkat: Recount how you got that scar on your face

>Karkat: Make a note to both thank and yell at your friend for making sure you didn't get culled.

Ohmygodohmygod, this looks like it's going to be amazing, I am crazy excited!!

>>881
While that is totally not the pressing issue you were previously grasping it, it's a far more immediate and pressing one!! You fucking idiot, change!! If your BLOCK INMATE saw you right now, it'd surely be the end! Go wash your hands! Put on a fucking shirt!
==>

>>919
LOL wow let's pretend I didn't forget his scar there ok, shhhhhh

>>919
You successfully clean up your hands in the resident ABLUTION BOWL and do the best you can with the rest of the mess. To hide the drying remains of your cherry cough syrup contagion, you then struggle into a shirt.

You spend a lot of time swearing, stumbling and making a complete asshole out of yourself.
==>

>>923

>>893
>Make a note to both thank and yell at your friend for making sure you didn't get culled.
Actually, in immediate hindsight, you decide you're just going to yell at them instead. You're pretty flustered right now and you could use a good punching bag to oh hey some asshole is trying to troll you.

>answer chum later, WHAT WOULD YOUR INMATE THINK IF THEY KNEW YOU HAD SPADES BOXERS

>Commander Serket: Pay Karkat a visit.

>>927
>answer chum later, WHAT WOULD YOUR INMATE THINK IF THEY KNEW YOU HAD SPADES BOXERS

SHIT wait who cares. He already knows about that.

You feel a scornful embarrassment regarding that smug asshole, but also for the fact that you forget that you DO NOT LIVE ALONE now that you're a part of the armada.

Sometimes, you just forget pants. Okay? It happens.

>Karkat: Use some asshole as a punching bag. Regret it around the conversation's end and make sure you are still friends.

>>928
This.

>>928
>>932
You can't be VRISKA SERKET because you are currently KARKAT VANTAS! It's way too early in the story for her introduction! What's up with her freaky eye?? Why's she so spooky? Why is she standing around in the dark? What's her deal?

You can't know yet.

And why the hell would you think she's a commander? Sure, she's totally gr8 and clearly awesome in every way, but she's simply not quite there yet! Thanks for rubbing it in! Sheesh! Give a girl a fucking bre8k! She's not even a sweep into this business! Have some patience!

>answer chum then, ya big grub. let's see what this whiny motherfucker has to say

http://miff.furopolis.org/trollme/ is what I use to cheat. I love your adventure it is totally kicking mine's ass.

>continue

>>931
>>954
God, you hope that routine doesn't have to rear its ugly head right now. You are just not in the mood to stomach that kind of embarrassment. You'd think after all this time, things might be a little different.

In any case, you decide to TROLL THIS STUPID ASSHOLE.

------------

TA: 2up
TA: kk we need two talk
TA: unle22 youre 2tiill flaiiliing around liike a doofu2 where the fuck ever ii gue22
CG: WHOA
CG: WELL THAT'S FUCKING UNCANNY.
CG: BUT YOU KNOW WHAT'S INCREDIBLE?
CG: THE GALAXY SINKING HEAVINESS OF MY REGRET FOR HAVING THOUGHT OF YOU FOR TWO FUCKING SECONDS.
CG: I'M A VALUBLE ASSET TO THE FLEETS FOR MANY REASONS, BUT MOST OF ALL FOR THE FACT THAT MY REGRET CAN SUCK UP ENTIRE UNIVERSES. IT'S A BLACK HOLE OF SELF LOATHING HINDSIGHT. WHY, WHY, WHY. DEAR GOD.
CG: NOT ONLY ARE THOSE TWO SECONDS I WILL NEVER HAVE THE PRECIOUS RIGHT TO WASTE IN ANY MANNER MORE MEANINGFUL
CG: WHICH WOULD BE ANY OTHER MANNER, BY THE WAY
CG: LIKE STABBING MY FUCKING EYES OUT AND CRYING A RIVER OF BLOOD WHILE SHRIEKING MY VAST AND ENDLESS DERISION FOR YOU TO MY LAST CONTEMPTUOUS WHEEZE
CG: BUT NOW I HAVE TO ACTUALLY READ YOUR FUCKBRAINED MAGGOTSHIT LOONERY.
TA: yeah kk that2 a great iidea ju2t go ahead and bleed your2elf iinto a pathetiic briittle nubbled fucka22 of a gnarled hu2k no one gives a 2hiit about.
TA: ju2t do iit 2omewhere where the iimperiial2 cant 2ee iit, unle22 you want two get culled for your freakii2h mutant red ca2te.
TA: 2omewhere far, far away where no one can hear you BE A COMPLETE FUCKIING IIDIIOT.
TA: otherwii2e yeah be my gue2t.
CG: HOLY SHIT
CG: SOLLUX WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH YOU????????
CG: FOR FUCK'S SAKE PLEASE KEEP YOUR SPITTLE ENCRUSTED THIN STUPID LISPING LIPS SHUT ABOUT THAT WOULD YOU?
CG: I MEAN
CG: BECAUSE IT'S INSULTING
CG: NOT BECAUSE IT'S TRUE OR ANYTHING
TA: ehehehehe thii2 i2 hiilariiou2.
CG: ACTUALLY WHAT'S HILARIOUS IS WHEN I FIND YOU LATER AND PUNCH YOUR STUPID SHADES OFF OF YOUR EQUALLY STUPID FACE.
CG: SERIOUSLY YOU'VE HAD THOSE SINCE YOU WERE LIKE 4, GET RID OF THEM.
TA: youre ju2t jealou2.
CG: OH MY GOD
CG: YOU'RE RIGHT!!
CG: YOU'VE GOT ME UTTERLY PEGGED!!
CG: WHAT A FOOL I'VE BEEN TO NOT SEE IT.
CG: OF COURSE I WANT A HIDEOUS MUTANT FREAKBRAIN THAT THROBS WITH THE MYRIAD OF SCREAMS FROM THE ANGRY DEAD AND A PAIR OF COMPLETELY IMPRACTICLE AND POINTLESS COLORED LADYSHADES.
CG: FORGET MY ALL-ENDING REGRET, MY JEALOUSY IS MUCH HEAVIER.
CG: IT'S HEAVIER THAN THE SHAMEGLOBES OF GOD.
CG: ANYWAY FUCK YOU, NOW THEY'RE GOING TO GET SUSPICIOUS OF SHIT THAT IS BOTH IRRELEVANT AND UNTRUE!!
TA: 2top fliippiing out for a 2ec 2eriiou2ly.
TA: iive encrypted your 2iignature from the dii22entiion maiinframe, they cant 2ee anythiing eiither of u2 are 2aying.
CG: OH HA HA.
CG: LIKE THAT'S EVEN A THING YOU CAN DO.
TA: kk ii can do 2hiit wiith computer2 that would melt your already tiiny and 2tunted thiink pan and you know that.
TA: come on iit2 my fuckiing job, of cour2e iit2 a thiing.
CG: I DON'T BELIEVE YOU.
TA: ii cant beliieve you actually got more paranoiid siince leaviing alterniia, thii2 ii2 ju2t riidiic.
TA: ok let me prove iit two you
TA: iim re2pon2iible 2olely for thii2 iidiiot beiing the biiggest burden the armada2 ever been cur2ed with the ta2k of hauliing around the uniiver2e for galactiic conquest, whiich ii2 now con2equently totally hiindered.
TA: iim the one who caved liike a grub and helped karkat dumb2hiit vanta2 pa22 hii2 entry 2creeniings wiithout gettiing culled for hii2 candy a22 blood by 2neakiing my blood in place of hii2 through a bunch of lengthly bull2hiit 2henaniigan2.
TA: ii am the criimiinal accompliice, iit iis me.
==>

CG: HOLY SHIT.
CG: OH MY GOD
CG: FUCK I AM BLEEDING EVERYWHERE
TA: what
TA: were you iinjured
CG: YES AND THE FUCKING THING JUST REOPENED BECAUSE OF HOW HARD I WAS HATING YOU HOLD ON
TA: wow way two go
==>

>>963
HAHA I was tempted to use that! HURGH I probably should/will from now on. I just bemoan the tiny entry text limitation. So much copy/pasting.

Also no u, I'm really interested to see where yours is going!

>>966
Your friend awaits your return patiently while you scream like a grub undergoing its trials, fleeing back into the joint CLEANSING CHAMBER. It's a big long escapade that the author's too lazy to illustrate, but know it is simply ridic.
==>

aaaaAAAAA YES FINALLY!!
/excitementttt

>Karkat: Get walked in on by your block inmate

>Karkat: Examine Fetch Modus and Strife Deck.

>>970
You return back to your HUSKTOP and restore your chump's window. You are patched up, but the bad news is that the wound is bleeding again. Thankfully, it is only letting with a lazy fury. You can just keep an eye on it, you suppose. The good news is that you also decided to put on a pair of pants.

Back to business.

------------

CG: GOD DAMN THAT WAS A FUCKING DIPSHIT MONTAGE OF A RIGMAROLE.
CG: ARE YOU STILL THERE
CG: WHY AREN'T WE DEAD
TA: ye2 iim 2tiill here and we arent dead becau2e ii e22entiially blocked all potentiial over2eer2 diidnt ii JU2T EXPLAIIN THII2, god.
TA: our 2iignature2 are totally undetectable dude. completely.
CG: WELL FUCK YOU FOR SCARING THE SHIT OUT OF ME REGARDLESS.
TA: oh plea2e iif ii outed you iid get culled two 2o why would ii even.
TA: anyway 2peakiing of that kiind of broodiing 2ea2on2 comiing up really 2oon.
CG: UUUGH SHIT.
CG: THAT'S RIGHT!!!
CG: I ACTUALLY WANTED TO TALK TO YOU ABOUT THAT. I MEANT TO DO IT EARLIER BUT I GOT DISTRACTED AND FORGOT, FUCK.
CG: I FEEL LIKE AN IDIOT.
TA: yeah that2 cuz an iidiiot iis pretty much 2ummariily what you are.
TA: iive been really bu2y wiith 2hiit anyway, you know how iit ii2.
TA: ii gue22 you arent really around much eiither but whatever ii wa2 meaniing two keep tab2 on that.
TA: 2o anyway are you 2tiill 2iingle?
CG: WHOA WHAT IN THE INAPPROPRIATE FUCK.
==>

agsgj sorry guys LOL I didn't notice you gave me prompts while I was drawing the continuation to the last post! as a note, when my wall of text's got a ==> at the bottom, it means I'm probably still working on that particular scene.

derp sorry aa

I am seriously too enthralled by the update to care that my prompt was ignored.

Hmm... I wonder if he's with Terezi or not. Sounds like he's single. He'd probably brag if he weren't. Time to find all the other lads and ladies desperate not to be culled, I guess. It's like a deadly Valentines Day!

>>978
heehee, YOU WILL FIND OUT PRESENTLY I think. WE'LL SEE

>>976
TA: for fuck2 2ake kk try not to have a fuckiing iidiiot fiit at everythiing ii say.
TA: or er a2k FUCK
TA: anyway 2iingle or what, what quadrant2, come on.
CG: OK NOT ONLY IS THAT NONE OF YOUR FUCKING BUSINESS
CG: BUT WHY THE HELL ARE YOU EVEN ASKING ME????
CG: SERIOUSLY THIS SMELLS LIKE SOMETHING REALLY HORRIFYING AND REVOLTING.
TA: iit2 an iimportant and legiitiimate fuckiing questiion. 2o legiit.
TA: cuz you know your fuckiing 2urviival depend2 on iit
TA: and iin ca2e you forgot that2 kiind of my other job.
TA: makiing 2ure you dont diie.
CG: IT'S NOT LIKE I ASKED YOU TO DO THAT.
TA: you kiinda diid.
CG: JUST FOR THE DRAFTING, FUCK. I DIDN'T ASK YOU TO DEVELOP A DERANGED MOTHERGRUB COMPLEX OVER IT, IT'S FUCKING DISGUSTING AND EMBARRASSING. JUST STOP.
TA: JU2T AN2WER THE FUCKIING QUE2TIION II AM A BU2Y GUY GOD DAMN II HATE YOU 2OMETIIME2, YOU ARE 2O IIMPO22IBLE.
TA: man that ii2 exhau2tiing.
CG: OK FINE I'M SINGLE. I DON'T HAVE A KISMESIS OR MATESPRIT, OK???
TA: fuck 2tiill?
TA: you really mii22ed the boat on the mate2priit thing.
TA: or 2unk iit, ii gue22.
CG: SHUT UP.
TA: ok. 2o anyway that2 a problem
CG: YEAH THAT'S WHY I WANTED TO TALK TO YOU...
TA: ...what
CG: WELL I MEAN I DON'T HAVE ANY PARTNERS FLUSHED OR CALIGINOUS
CG: SO I'M KIND OF FUCKED
TA: uh
TA: you arent tryiing to 2olliiciit me right
TA: becau2e iim all full up for flush and calliigiinous and ii dont do piity paiiliing dude
CG: FROTHING UNHOLY FUCK OF THE FURTHEST RING, WHAT??????????
CG: I AM PUNCHING YOU TWICE IN THE FUTURE, NOW. THE SECOND TIME WILL ALSO BE IN THE HEAD.
CG: NOT THAT YOU NEED ANY MORE BRAIN PROBLEMS.
CG: GOD, WHAT THE FUCK.
CG: THAT'S NOT WHAT I'M ASKING AT ALL.
CG: WERE YOU SERIOUS RIGHT THERE????
CG: DO YOU THINK I'D DO SOMETHING SO DESPICABLE AND SHAMELESS?? WHAT KIND OF GUY DO YOU TAKE ME FOR, REALLY. I'M NOT DESPERATE.
CG: UGH.
TA: 2hrug
TA: iit wa2 funny.
CG: IT WAS IMMATURE IS WHAT IT WAS.
TA: oh very funny liike you have any riight to 2liing that 2mall aerodynamic 2pear
==>

oops I forgot to use the troll text converter
DEAL WITH MY QUIRK TYPOS. I apologize.

>Karkat: Weigh your flushed and caliginous options.

Alternative or concurrent prompt:

>Karkat: Curse over the fact that your Plan Z is apparently unwilling to "pail you out" if all else fails.

>>984
CG: WHATEVER, IT'D BE A PROBLEM EVEN IF I HAD THOSE QUADRANTS PRESENTLY FILLED.
CG: YOU SHOULD KNOW MORE THAN ANY IDIOT WITH FUNCTIONAL GRUBBY HANDS THAT GENETIC MATERIAL IS JUST ANOTHER INCONVENIENT GIVEAWAY WITH CASTE COLOR EVEN IF IT'S NOT STRAIGHT UP BLOOD.
CG: THERE'S PRETTY MUCH NO ESCAPE FROM THIS UNLESS YOU HELP ME WITH SOMETHING
CG: OH
CG: SHITFUCK GOD DAMN IT ARE YOU SERIOUS
TA: what now
CG: UH
CG: I HAVE A
CG: FUCK HANG ON A SECOND I HAVE TO DEAL WITH SOMEONE.
TA: ehehehe
CG: YOU SHUT YOUR SMUG SEEDFLAP.
CG: I SWEAR WE WILL FINISH THIS EXCRUCIATING CONVERSATION EVENTUALLY AND THEN WE CAN GO BACK TO HATING EACH OTHER MUCH LESS DIRECTLY, OK?
TA: ok 2ure.
CG: OK.

------------

God, not her. Not right now. You cannot fucking deal with that right now. You have more important shit on your plate to worry about than looney blind broads.

But you unfortunately have little choice; again, the alternative is unaffordable.

>Karkat: Get trolled by the looney blind broad and take it with impotent rage like you do with pretty much everything. Resolve to man the fuck up at some point in the near future.

>Karkat: begrudgingly respond to Terezi, but refuse any romantic solicitations she may present outright. Then get desperate and rescind all the mean things you said about her and beg for her to do a "pity fill" with you.

Ahahaha, I can't for wait for Karkat to inevitably ask Sollux for some yellow genetic material.
Also this is my favorite adventure eveeeer! Hemospectrum AU future sci-fi shenagins, ahhh <3

>>991
Don't be so sure!
Thanks for your kind words, and the same to everyone else. I'm really glad everyone's enjoying it so far.

I dunno if I'll get around to updating today because of Thanksgiving (chances are I will later tonight), so please keep sending prompts!

Also if anyone has any questions regarding this premise (re: subjects I may not immediately be getting to, etc), I made a formspring. :> http://www.formspring.me/poipa

And for the dudes who wanted Vriska to come bother Karkat, here is a consolation intermission doodle while I stuff myself with turkey.

>Karkat: Don't talk to Sollux so much he's in every fan adventure, give someone else some love.

>Karkat: Talk to Sollux's matesprit, though what he sees in your leftovers is a mystery that no amount of meddling kids can solve.

>Karkat: Make a note to get some yellow blood, just in case you ever need to be really convincing or there's a surprise blood test or something.

>>1018
My cow, anon. Plus, he's in about as many adventures as Eridan (he's not in Katie's current adventure, as one offhand example), AND he's a big part of the plot's gravity. Be patient bro everyone gets some love, we're still early into the shit of this.

>>1029
oops what where did my name go

I, for one, am enjoying Sollux in this adventure, and I think the vulnerable/dangerous friendship he has with Karkat is really interesting. Sollux is literally saving Karkat's life, but Karkat can do absolutely nothing in return. I think that if I wasn't a Homestuck fan but was reading this with no knowledge of the two, I would still, by reading their pesterlog, be able to tell that they've known each other for years and have a lot of history. ANYWAY. Sollux is a cool dude, and you wouldn't hear me complaining about his presence in fan adventures, especially in this one.
Also, as an unrelated side note, I'm really pleased with the frequent updates and obviously thought out plot and setting! You're obviously a really talented artist, and the pesterlogs so far have been super duper in character.
TL;DR- Baseraaaaapt <3 <3 poison parfaaaaait <3 <3

>Karkat: Pass out due to bloodloss.

Also, just so you kow, this currently has all of my love. All of it. The art, the story... <3333 Everything.

>Troll Kids: Become non-canonically relevant and then disappear into the ether.

>Karkat: Speak to your old friend, Terezi who became a Trollmanatarian after a horrible accident

>Karkat: Speak to your old friend, Terezi who became a Legislacerator.

>Karkat: Answer Terezi while making multiple wisecracks about her matesprit, who, for some ungodly reason, thought it would be a good idea to give her back her sight.

> Karkat: You really can't fucking deal with this right now. Smash your keyboard in anger so hard that it breaks and keys fly everywhere.

> Karkat: TGEN TTTTTTRY TO AMBNSDDDDWER ANYWY WITG NO BACSPAAAQQQQCE KEY///

>>1056
> seem calmer than usual because you always used the shift key instead of capslock and now both of those are gone god fuck dammit.

>Karkat: Pretend you are your block inmate. Tell Terezi that Karkat left his Trollian account open and he is away being amazing. Totally threshecutioner material, that guy. Most heroic fucker you've ever met. Reflexively type all of this in all caps.

>Karkat: Become overwhelmed by all these options and just sort of stare blankly at the screen for a second. Fucking computers, man. How do they work? Fucking miracles.

> "ii dont do piity paiiliing dude."
I am saving that one for later.

>>1056
>Give up on typing with a mangled keyboard and resort to videochatting.

oop I stayed for over 24 hours and I have a shift at 6am tomorrow WHOOPS...

but as a heads up: I have the next scene all written out and I just gotta draw it. I am simply too sleepy to draw tonight aaa

>>1038
>>1043
a-aw thank you guys!!

I AM IN LOVE WITH THE UNIFORMS. Tell Kanaya for me that she is an astounding imperial director of military fashion or whatever her title might be! Seriously, pp, they are beyond awesome.

>>1081
>Author: Get some beauty sleep while readers F5 like this is Homestuck.

>>1119
> F5: cry like a little bitch.
I'm guessing this story has something to do with that SkepticArcher painting we saw recently?

>>1139
>Somebody: Link to this image asap.

Okay so this is utterly fantastic and I will do anything that is needed to make sure that it keeps happening.

Seriously I'd take updates without pictures just to learn what happens next.

oh man I woke up earlier than I thought I would, ugh. working on some panels before I go towork, and I'll probably finish up some time when I get home.

>>1082
hehehe, that isn't quite her job, and thank you for your comments on the uniforms! she isn't responsible for them; she probably finds them unsightly. but she does do some designer work on the side with a very small, very important clientele... so controversial!

>>1139
um...? no? AHAHA I actually just had a weird dream that everyone was grownups, looked like tron, and Karkat was a yellowblood. I've been talking about doing this adventure for a couple of weeks, and I think I posted some of my AU conceptual things before/right around when sA's painting was posted. besides, I could never hope to match that caliber in any way. *q*

>>1159
thank you!

>Karkat: Realize Terezi is almost certainly in a position of legal authority and you are constantly breaking the law by continuing to be alive. Disobey all of your now-screaming instincts to ignore her.

This thing makes me smile. A lot. I'm sad it hasn't updated in a couple days.

>>1056
That's ridiculous. You're fine. You're totally fine. You can do this. You can talk to her. You can deal with it. She bugs you all the time. So what if you're currently stressed out of your chitinous cranial confines? So what if you're having a life threatening crisis?? So what????????

WHO THE FUCK CARES, THAT'S WHAT. AND TO ANSWER THAT QUESTION WITH A STATEMENT STUMP INSTEAD OF A QUERY HOOK: NOBODY, THAT'S WHO. TROLL THIS BITCH, IT'S FINE, YOU'RE FINE. GOD.

------------

--- gallowsCalibrator [GC] began trolling carcinoGeneticist [CG] ---

GC: H3LLO TH3R3 4BSCOND M4ST3R >:]
GC: H3YYY
GC: H3Y
GC: YOU C4NT H1D3 FROM M3 K4RK4T
GC: YOU C4N G1V3 M3 TH3 S1L3NT TR34TM3NT 4LL YOU W4NT BUT 1 C4N SM3LL YOUR SH4M3 4LL TH3 W4Y FROM H3R3
GC: 1T 4LMOST SM3LLS 4S GOOD 4S YOUR F34R H3H3H3
GC: YOU KNOW 1F YOU DONT R3SPOND 1 H4V3 4 L3G1T1M4T3 R34SON TO JUST COM3 TO YOUR JO1NT R3SP1T3 BLOCK
GC: WH3R3 1 WOULD D1SC1PL1N3 YOU 1N TH3 PL4C3 OF MY SUBORD1N4T3S >:]
GC: 4LSO 1 4LR34DY H34RD TH4T YOU FL3D TH3 F31LD 4G41N 1F TH4T W4SNT OBV1OUS >:[
GC: DONT M4K3 M3 GO OV3R TH3R3
CG: HOLY FUCK GIVE ME A FUCKING SECOND, YOU AREN'T THE ONLY IDIOT ON THIS SHIP WHO WANTS MY SCORNFUL ATTENTION. ARE YOU AWARE OF THAT??? BECAUSE PRETTY MUCH EVERYONE ON THIS FUCKING STATION IS OUT TO DRIVE ME TO SUICIDE.
CG: STAY THE HELL AWAY FROM ME.
CG: AND YOUR BRAZEN FLIRTATION IS INCREDIBLY INAPPROPRIATE. DO I NEED TO REMIND YOU YOU'RE ALREADY INVOLVED WITH SOMEONE??
CG: BECAUSE YOU SEEM TO FORGET THAT EVERY TIME YOU OPEN UP YOUR FROTHING MAW YOU FUCKING ADULTEROUS PSYCHOBITCH.
GC: 1M 1NSULT3D! >:O
GC: 1 W4S THR34T3N1NG YOU
CG: ISN'T THAT USUALLY THE SAME FUCKING THING WITH YOU
GC: 1 TH1NK YOU 4R3 JUST PROJ3CT1NG YOUR W1SHFUL TH1NK1NG
GC: 1N4PPROPR14T3LY >:]
CG: HA HA, VERY FUNNY.
CG: YOU'RE RIGHT. I CAN'T TELL YOU HOW MUCH FUCKING TIME I WASTE SITTING ON MY ASS WISHING I HAD SOME BUGWINGSHIT CANEHUMPING BLIND TURDWIT OF A WOMAN TEARING MY FACE UP AND FETISHISTICLY OBSESSING OVER MY BLOOD.
CG: I CAN'T EVEN DESCRIBE HOW EMPTY I FEEL WITH ALL OF THIS UNMARRED HIDE AND RELAXING PEACE OF MIND.
GC: UNM4RR3D???
GC: OH R1GHT L1K3 YOUR H4NDSOM3 STUP1D SC4R ON YOUR F4C3 >:]
CG: FUCK YOU.
GC: OH
GC: H3Y W41T W3R3 YOU JUST T4LK1NG TO SOLLUX >:?
CG: HEY ISN'T THAT NONE OF YOUR BUSINESS?
CG: ALSO HOW THE FUCK IS THAT STUPID THING A FACE
CG: YOU CAN'T FUCKING DO THAT WITH YOUR MOUTH.
CG: I REALLY CAN'T UNDERSTAND WHY THE HELL THE SECOND I GET BACK TO MY BLOCK YOU BULGEBITERS HAVE TO CRAWL AS FAR AS YOU POSSIBLY CAN UP MY FUCKING NOOK.
CG: IT'S LIKE YOUR COLLECTIVE EXISTENCE IS TO ANNOY THE EVERHATING SHIT OUT OF KARKAT VANTAS.
CG: YOU ARE DEFICIENT IN EVERYTHING THAT LENDS TO BEING ANYTHIING THAT ISN'T THE WORST SHITSMEAR THAT WAS EVER SMUDGED ON THIS SIDE OF PARADOX SPACE.
GC: OH MY GOD SHUP UP FOR 4 S3COND SHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH >:O
CG: DON'T YOU SHH ME.
GC: 1 DONT H4V3 T1M3 FOR YOUR 4DOR4BL3 CR4NKY W1NDB4G S3M4NT1CS R1GHT NOW
GC: 4ND YOU PROB4BLY DONT 31TH3R TO B3 HON3ST
CG: WAIT WHAT
CG: SHIT, WHAT DO YOU MEAN??
GC: 1 M34N UNL3SS 1 GO 4ND F1GUR4T1V3LY COV3R YOUR L4M3 4SS YOU 4R3 GO1NG TO B3 1N S3R1OUS TROUBL3
GC: 4ND TH3R3S ONLY SO MUCH 1 C4N DO SO M4NY T1M3S B3FOR3 P3OPL3 C4LL HORS3CR4P ON MY SH3N4N1G4NS
GC: 3V3N W1TH MY 4UTHOR1TY >:S
CG: WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU ASSHOLES
CG: SHHH SH SH
CG: FUCKING SHUT UP WITH THAT.
GC: H3H3H3 OH MY GOD K4RK4T C4LM DOWN
GC: PR3TTY MUCH 4NYON3 WHO KNOWS 4BOUT YOUR D3L1C1OUS MUT4T1ON 1S SCR33N3D FROM TH3 3Y3S OF TH3 D1SC1PL1N4TR1X
GC: 4ND 1 WOULD KNOW >:]
GC: 1 M34N NOT 4 S1NGL3 CONSORT UND3R MY NOS3 H4S 4NY 1D34
CG: OH WHAT
GC: SOLLUX 4ND 1 T4K3 GOOD C4R3 OF YOU OK >:O
GC: 1 H4D H1M SCR33N OUR S1GN4TUR3S
CG: UGH I
CG: OK I'LL BELIEVE YOU BUT ONLY BECAUSE SOLLUX PULLED SOME MAGGOTSHIT BRAINED STUNT
CG: BUT STILL, I CAN'T EXACTLY RISK GETTING SERIOUSLY INJURED ON DUTY AND I USUALLY DO A PRETTY GOOD JOB ANYWAY SO SHUT YOUR GRINNING FACE.
GC: Y34H BUT WH3N YOU 4CTU4LLY G3T H1T YOU RUN 4W4Y L1K3 4 SC4R3D L1TTL3 4N1M4L W1TH H1S STUP1D BUTT ON F1R3
GC: 1 H34RD YOU D1DNT 3V3N BL33D
CG: I DID. MY FAUX CARAPACE JUST DIDN'T BREAK FROM THE IMPACT OF THE SHOT, WISEASS.
GC: TH4T DO3SNT M4K3 S3NS3 >:/
GC: 1F 4NYTH1NG YOUD G3T BRU1S3D OR YOU WOULDNT R34LLY 3V3N BL33D 4 S1GN1F1C4NT 4MOUNT >:?
CG: I GUESS I GOT BURNED? I PRETTY MUCH DON'T HAVE ANY SKIN RIGHT NOW AROUND THE IMPACT AREA.
GC: UUUUGH
GC: YOU DONT H4V3 4NY BUS1N3SS W1TH SUCH 4 D4NG3ROUS JOB 1F YOU C4NT 4FFORD G3TT1NG 1NJUR3D K4RK4T!
CG: WOW, YOU ARE IMPLYING I HAVE OPTIONS
GC: 1 KNOW 1 KNOW
GC: 1 GU3SS
GC: 1 JUST K1ND OF WORRY 4 L1TTL3... >:/
CG: UGH DON'T. NO.
CG: I DON'T NEED YOU GUYS WORRYING OVER ME SO MUCH. IT'S HUMILIATING.
GC: WH3N 4R3 YOU GO1NG TO STOP B31NG SUCH 4 GRUB 4BOUT TH1S
GC: 4CT1NG L1K3 YOU DONT 4PPR3C14T3 WH4T W3R3 DO1NG FOR YOU
GC: 1 THOUGHT YOU W3R3 MOR3 M4TUR3 TH4N TH4T BY NOW >:]
CG: OH GOD DAMN IT FINE.
CG: OF COURSE I APPRECIATE IT, I DON'T WANT TO FUCKING DIE. OK?? DOES THAT PLEASE YOU? IS YOUR HORMONE BLADDER SUFFECIENTLY WARM AND WELL TICKLED?
GC: Y3SSSSSSS
CG: BLUH! FUCK YOU.
CG: IT'S STILL EMBARRASSING AND IT STILL MAKES ME UNCOMFORTABLE.
GC: S33 1TS GOOD YOU C4N 4DM1T TH1NGS L1K3 TH4T NOW K4RK4T
GC: YOU 4R3 SLOWLY M4NN1NG UP 1NCH BY 1NSUFF3R4BLY WR1GGLY 1NCH
CG: UGHHHH STOP IT, JUST STOP. I WANT TO KILL MYSELF.
GC: 4NYW4Y 1 TRUST SOLLUX R3M1ND3D YOU TH4T TH3 BROOD 1S COM1NG
GC: 4ND 1 H4V3NT H34RD 4NY JU1CY R3PORTS 4BOUT YOUR ROM4NT1C L1F3 B31NG 4NYTH1NG BUT 4N 1CY TUNDR4 OF 4 W4ST3L4ND 1N 4 PR3TTY LONG WH1L3
CG: OH HM SHALL WE TAKE A MOMENT TO DELIBERATE ON WHY THAT IS?
GC: OOPS GROW UP >:P
CG: WHATEVER. ARE YOU TWO IN CAHOOTS OR SOMETHING? I ALREADY TOLD SOLLUX THAT EVEN IF I HAD THE APPROPRIATE PARTNERS IT WOULDN'T MAKE A DIFFERENCE.
GC: W3LL WH4T 4R3 YOU GO1NG TO DO >:?
GC: BORROW SOM3 OF SOLLUXS G3N3T1C M4T3R14L? CUZ TH4TS PR3TTY UNS4VORY
GC: 4ND W31RD >:/
CG: EW FUCK WHAT THE HELL
CG: WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH YOU IDIOTS
CG: GOD FUCKING DAMN IT STOP DERAILING ME. HOW ABOUT YOU JUST LET ME FINISH? SHITTING FUCK, TEREZI.
GC: 3H3H3H3 YOU SHOULD C4LM DOWN S1R 1NJURY NUBS
CG: NO, SERIOUSLY, YOU NEED TO STOP FUCKING WASTING TIME WITH THIS AND JUST GET TO THE FUCKING POINT, OK. I AM SO SICK OF YOUR FUCKING BULLSHIT.
GC: SH33SH K4RK4T WH4T 1S YOUR D34L
GC: 4R3NT W3 FR13NDS? C4NT 1 T4LK TO YOU WH3N 1 W4NT >:/
==>

CG: FA;LDLSOFIAPOKLAHFUAIYOS9D0UI[23 RF-[SEF ASLKFJAL F- 0FAJAN SDFFNFF
GC: WHO4

------------

Okay, you are starting to flip your shit a little.

You go into a blind fury and begin smashing your keyboard into oblivion. In retrospect, you'll be humiliated to pinpoint your trigger and you'll definitely just blame all of the derogatory and humiliating talk of pails.
==>

==>

Your keyboard looks a little fucked up. Keys are crooked and some of them are missing. Both Sollux and Terezi are still talking to you. You take a deep breath and try to simmer down a little. If only you had better control over your anger.

Okay. You're faced with a conflict of interest. And by conflict of interest you mostly mean a conflict of contempt. Is it going to be Sollux or Terezi?

This is the greatest one yeeeeeeet! <3<3<3

Never stop. Not until it's over, anyways. And don't let it be over for a long time. :D

Sollux pisses you off slightly less. Take a breather with him and then try to get back to the IMPORTANT MATTER AT HAND with Terezi.

aaaaaa you updated <333

aww I love their dialogue sooo much

>talk to sollux, consult advice about brooding. also about how to handle yourself when weird flirty blind girls talk to you probably

>Terezi. Sollux has too much moral high-ground from saving your ass.

>Troll them both in a group chat. Be efficient about this horseshit.

>>1280
>>1279
>>1282
I like these all!

Oh gog this is so funny and amazing. Funmazing!

I love your characterization and stuff. NEVER STOP!

>Karkat: have a fucking threesome with Sollux and Terezi

>Sollux first. Better take a breather before tackling the crazier one.

>Set your status to away and ignore them both. Maybe see if you can get assigned to be in combat during the brood to buy yourself some time.

Karkat: Talk to whoever might be able to get you transferred into the medic department and get you working as a healer.

>>1282

Man, it's too bad Aradia is dead. If he could have got blood from her instead of Sollux then nobody would have noticed the specific shade of red during the heat of battle.

>>1282
Okay, you may as well be EFFICIENT WITH THIS HORSECRAP. You decide to open up a memo and invite these assholes in.

You reopen Sollux's window first. During your KEYSMASH SPAZFIT, you must have accidentally minimized it.

------------

CG: SOLLUX
TA: oh hey 2up
TA: are you two done talkiing already?
CG: SHJUT UP
CG: NO WE AREN'T FUKCING DOE TALKING.
CG: DONE
CG: GOD DAMN IT.
CG: HOW DID YOU KNOW WE WERET ALKIGN ANYWA???
CG: SOME KIND OF STUPDI DOUCHEBAG FUCK WITH KARKAT CONFERENCE I DON'T KNOW ABOUT??
TA: ehehehe what the hell ii2 wrong wiith you dude
TA: youre typiing liike you have miind bee2 iin your braiin jock, 2tiingiing at your 2oggy metaphoriic iintellectual 2hame2ack wiith an unbriidled buzziing fury.
TA: or maybe
TA: you ju2t need two get your hand out of your pant2.
CG: MY BACKSPACE KEY IS BROKEN OK
CG: LAY OFF ILL FIX IT LATER ITS' NOT THAT BAD.
TA: wow ii cant beliieve you regularly make 2o many typo2
CG: I CANM'T BELUIVE SHUT YOUR FUCKING FACE AND LET ME TALK FOR AGOD DAMN SECOND
TA: oh my god iim just 2iittiing over here
TA: laughiing at your 2tupiid a22.
TA: ehehehe
TA: 2eriiou2ly thii2 ii2 liike the be2t thing.
TA: be2t lunar 2egment ever, good job.
CG: GOD DAMN WOULD YOU CRAM A GRUB IN IT.
CG: LETS BE SERIOUS FOR A SEONCD HERE
CG: LET'S BE A BUNCH OF GROWN ASS ADULTS
CG: AND HAVE A GROWN ASS MATURE NORMAL CONVERSATJON
TA: what2 a conversatjon and how wiill ii know when iit2 reached maturiity
CG: FUCK YOU, THAT'S WHAT/HOW.
CG: JUST CLOICK THIS FUCKING LINK
CG: AND ENTER TH THING
TA: oh god you made a memo diidnt you.
TA: why, kk, why.
CG: SHUT UP OIK THIS IS A LEGITIKATELY GOOD IDEA
CG: LEGITIMATELY FUCK
TA: ok whatever.
CG: GOOD.
CG: NOW HANG ONI[M GONNA GET TEREZI IN.
CG: SIN CE YOU MASTUBATORY INSERT SHAFTS SEM TO HAVR A MUTAL HAND IN THJS ABSOLUTELY CONFLAGRATIVE BULLSHIT ASS EXPKOSION
TA: oh god.
TA: ehehehe
TA: you are like a bad parody of your2elf and ii ju2t. ii cant 2top laughiig.
TA: oop2, 2ee ii even typod up there, ii am lo2iing my cool wiith all the2e giiggle2.
CG: I HATE YOU. BE QUIET. SILENCE YOUR SQUELCHING BARFDUCT AND GET YORU HIDEOUS MUTANT ASS INTO THE MEMO.
TA: ok.

--- carcinoGeneticist [CG] ceased trolling twinArmageddons [TA] ---

------------
==>

>>1518
You'd think! But that's not quite the problem. After all, Karkat could have befriended a vermillionblood with that MO in mind--it's really more like screenings and tests and physical exams that would get him in trouble. The reason why his uniform is mustard and etc is because he's in the system as a yellowblood, for example.

Back to Terezi.

------------

CG: OKAY
GC: TH3R3 YOU 4R3
GC: 1 THOUGHT YOU H4D 4 R4G3 S31ZUR3 4ND D13D
CG: FI FUCKING ONLY
GC: FI??
GC: D1D 1 T4ST3 TH4T R1GHT
CG: NO.
CG: ANYWAY WE'RE NOT TALKING ABOUT THIS HERE ABHYORE
GC: ... >:O
GC: WH4T
GC: 4M 1 G3TT1NG 4 COLD OR 4R3 YOU TYP11NG L1K3 YOUR GR1P 4PP3ND4G3S 4R3 BROK3N
CG: IT'S BESIDES THE POINT EITHER WAY FUCK.
GC: OH MY GOD D1D YOU BR34K YOUR K3YBO4RD
CG: FUCK OFF INTO A FIRE AND DIE
CG: SERIOUSLY WHEN THE FUCK ARE YOU GOINGTO JUST DROP DEAD SO I CAN EMPTY MYSELF OF MY WSTE ONTO YOUR GRAVE
GC: 4H4H4H4H4H44
GC: TH1S 1S SO FUNNY
CG: OH MY GOD BOTH OF YOU ARE SUCH WRIGGLERS SHUT UP.
CG: ANYWAY REMEMBER THE ACTUAL FUCKING POUNT OF THIS CONVERSTION BEFORE ALL THIS DERAILING?
GC: PFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFH4H4H4
CG: GOD DAMMIT.
CG: I HAVE A REAL FUCKNG CRISIS ON MY CLAWS HERE, I COULD DIE
GC: POUNT
CG: OH MY GOD TEREZU
CG: FUCK
CG: TEREZI
GC: T3R3ZU 4H4H4H4
CG: UGH THIS IS TERRIBLE
GC: 3H3H3H3H3
GC: OK OK C4LM DOWN
GC: DONT G3T SO D1STR3SS3D YOU GOOFY GRUB
GC: BUT...
GC: W3LL
GC: WH4T DO YOU 3XP3CT TO DO
GC: DO YOU W4NT M3 TO H3LP?
CG: JST
CG: GO HERE
GC: 3H3H3H3H3
GC: OK

--- carcinoGeneticist [CG] ceased trolling gallowsCalibrator [GC] ---

------------
==>

Okay, this has pretty much been the MOST EMBARRASSING LUNAR SEGMENT of your loathsome life, but you have more important shit you need to deal with. Time to stop getting sidetracked by ASSHOLE SHENANIGANS.

Except probably not.

------------

CURRENT carcinoGeneticist [CCG] RIGHT NOW opened memo on board NO FUCKERS ALLOWED CLUB.

CURRENT twinArmageddons [CTA] RIGHT NOW responded to memo.
CTA: ii2nt iit kiind redundant to label and 2tamp the tiime2 on thii2 thing
CTA: the trolliian programer2 dii2abled that feature 2weep2 ago.
CTA: thii2 cliient ii2 2uch a piiece of 2hiit. ii could rewriite the whole thiing in a sopor coma.
CTA: al2o thii2 board name ii2 horriible. iim pretty 2ure you would con2iider me and tz two be riight desiignated fucker2, what wiith your flamiing iinvectiive and all.
CTA: and yet here ii am, iin thii2 2tupiid memo you made ju2t for u2.
CTA: god.
CCG: SHUT UP ASSHOLE
CCG: IT'S TIME TPO PLAY A GAME.
CCG: IT'S CALLED GUESS WHAT THE PURPOSE OF THIS FUCKING MEMO POST IS
CCG: THE RULES ARE SMPLE
CCG: SIMPLE AGH.
CCG: YOU SHUT THE FUCK UP AND LET ME TELL YOU THE ANSWDR.
CCG: THE ANSWER IS NOT FOR YOU TO BE A FUCKNG PRETENTIOUS PROGRAMRS TAINTCHAFE
CCG: ALTERNATIVLY, THE ANSWER IS WE NEED TO FIGURE THIS OUT SO I DON'T DIE.
CCG: MOSTLY THAT ISI IT,
CTA: pfff hehe
CTA: ok
CURRENT gallowsCalibrator [CGA] RIGHT NOW responded to memo.
CGC: 3H3H3H3 OK L3TS G3T TH1S P4RTY ST4RT3D
CCG: NO, THERE WILL BE NO STUPIT ASSHOLE PARTIES. THIS IS SERIOUS. WE'RE BEING SERIOUS.
CTA: stupiit
CTA: really, kk?
CTA: really???
CGC: >:O K4RK4T YOU 4R3 TH3 B1GG3ST P4RTY POOP3R WHO 3V3R D1D SH1T ON 4 P4RTY
CCG: MY LOOMING DEATH IS NOT SOMTEHING YOU SHOULD PARTY ABOUT. IT IS NOT THE TIME.
CTA: or maybe iit2 the be2t tiime ehehehe
CGC: OH SN4P
CCG: SERIOUSLY CAN WE STO PIT WITH THE HOPRSESHIT
CGC: FFFF
CCG: YES, TEREZI, THAT IS EXTREMELY HELPFUL.
CCG: I AM SO GLAD I AM BURIED TO MY NOOK IN COMPETENT AND USEUFL PEOPLE.
CCG: BOY GOLLY.
CTA: ok fiine goofy tiime ii2 over
CGC: FOR NOW >:]
CTA: ye2 that
CTA: what wa2 your plan kk?
CCG: WELL
CCG: FIRST
CCG: CAN YOU ENCRYPT OUR SIGNATURE OUT OF THE RADAR'S SPIDERY REACH?
CTA: already diid. ii am amaziing.
CCG: I'M SORRY I COULDN'T QUITE HEAR YOU OVER THE VICIOUS SQUELCHGN OF YOUR AUTO FELLATIO, CAPTAIN TWINDICK
CTA: oh fuck you vanta2
CTA: maybe ii 2hould ju2t remove the 2creeniing and depant2 your 2tupiid operatiion
CGC: >:/ 1 WOULDNT B3 TOO HOT ON TH4T OP3R4T1ON M1ST3R 4PPL3B3RRY BL4ST
CTA: GOD DAMMIIT can we ju2t get thii2 over with before ii get on a down2wiing or 2omethiing
CCG: THANK GOD.
CCG: OK SO…
CGC: >:?
CTA: …kk you havent entered anythiing in liike two miinute2
CCG: SHIT, I KNOW. I JUST
CCG: I'M NERVOUS ABOUT DISCLOSING THIS ONLINE.
CTA: diidnt ii tell you to relax bro, iit2 fiine, were good.
CGC: Y3S
CGC: B3S1D3S 1T WOULD PROB4BLY B3 MOR3 SUSP1C1OUS 1F W3 M3T 1N P3RSON FR4NKLY
CGC: 3V3N 1F W3 KN3W 34CH OTH3R B3FOR3 TH3 DR4FT1NG 1 TH1NK THAT OUR V4R13D R4NKS WOULD R41S3 SOM3 NOSY 3Y3BROWS >:/
CTA: yeah.
CCG: OK, FINE. I DEFINTL;HY DON'T WANT MORE IDIOTS INVOLVED THEN THER ENEEDS TOBE.
CGC: H4H4 YOU SOUND L1K3 YOU DR4NK YOUR B3D
CCG: EAT SHIT AND DIE YOU CRAZY BITCH.
CGC: >:P
CTA: ehehehe
CCG: OK SO SOLLUX, BASICALLY
CCG: YOU WORK A LOT WITH SHIP MAINFRAEMS AND MTHERBOARDS RIGHT? LIKE THAT'S PRETTY MUCH YOUR PRIMARY JOB/.
CTA: yeah trouble2hootiing for diip2hiit2 and programmiing ba2iically. why?
CCG: WELL I MEAN YOU CAN CONFIGURE AND COMPROMISE A LOT OF A SHIP'S INTNDED FUNCTONS AND GIBVEN FEATURES
CCG: AND DON'T YOU SOMETIMES FUCK WITH THE NAVIGATION OF OTHER SHIPS AND CRAP LIKE THAT WHEN WE COME HEAD TO HEAD WITH OPPOSING FLEETS??
CCG: OBVIOSLFY IF YOU CAN DO THAT I FIGRED THAT MEANS YOU CAN FUCK WITH RADAR DETECIOTN
CCG: AS MUCH AS IT PAINS ME TO THE PIT OF EVERYTHING TO SAY IT I'M PRTTY SURE HIJACKING ACRUISER WOULD BE NO PROBLEM FOR YOU, AND IN LIEU OF THAT, CLAOKING IT WOULD BE NO PROBLM
CCG: THE SAME FOR HIDING OUR RESPECTIVE SIGNATURES
CCG: SO I WAS THINKING MAYBE YOU COULD BAI LME OUT OF TEH BROOD
CCG: UNTIL ITS OVER AND THE DRONES FUCK OFF BACK TO THEIR STATIOND METROHIVES
CTA: huh
CTA: ii gue22 that could work theoretiically
CTA: but my mate2priit and my ki2me2i2 would probably get really 2u2piiciiou2 about me 2uddenly droppiing off liike that e2peciially cuz thii2 ii2 gonna be our fiir2t brood, not two mentiion our 2uperiior2 would al2o get 2u2piiciiou2
CCG: UGH YEAH I KNOW.
CCG: BUT
CCG: I KNOW THIS IS KIND OF A HUGE RISKY DEAL BUT IT'S PROBABLY THE ONLY WAY I CAN SUCCESSFULLY BE KEPT ALIVE AT THIS PPOINT, AND THE NEXT BIG BROOD ISNT'E VEN FOR ANOTHER SWEPE OR TWO
CCG: I JUST REGRET HAVING COME OF AGE JUST IN TIME FOR THIS ONE. GOD DAMN IT.
CGC: >:/ Y34H BUT YOU 4LR34DY KN3W 4 LONG T1M3 4GO YOUD G3T C4UGHT BY TH3 D4TE
CGC: YOUR3 YOUNG3R TH4N US BUT ONLY JUST SO IT K1ND4 SUCKS FOR US TOO
CCG: WHY WOULD IT SUCK????
CCG: ARE YOU HAVIGN PROBLEMS WITH YOUR SHIT?
CGC: BLUH 1 DONT KNOW 1M N3RVOUS
CTA: yeah me two
CTA: ii mean iive heard a lot about people ju2t kiind of 2tumble uncertainly iinto the nece22ary quadrant2 for 2urviival2 2ake, fiirst tiime around.
CCG: YEAH, I GUESS YOU DON'T REALLYHAVE TIME TO FIND SOMETHING GENUINELY MEANINGFUL, OR THE DATES DON'T ALWAYS COALLIGN?
CCG: LIKE MAYBE YOU HAD SOMETHNG PERFECT LAST SWEEP BEFRE THE BROOD FND THEN IT WAS OVEER BY THE TIME THE BROOD CAME OR SOMETHING
CCG: HYPOTHETICALLY.
CCG: EITHER WAY I'TS SHITTY./
CGC: Y3P
CCG: ARE YOU IN THAT SORT OF SITUATION OR WHAT, SOLLUX?
CTA: not exactly.
CTA: ii mean maybe thiing2 are kiinda lukewarm wiith my matespriit, doe2nt feel liike de2tiiny or 2omethiing equally amaziing and fake
CTA: and my hatred for my kii2me2i2 i2 pretty 2iincere
CTA: but iim stiill not ready or lookiing forward two it ii gue22
CGC: BUT 1 GU3SS 1F YOU W3NT W1TH K4RK4TS OP3R4T1ON YOUD H4V3 4 T1CK3T OUT
CTA: ii gue22
CTA: ii could ea2iily ju2t wriite iin 2ome bull2hiit report2 onto the mii22iion maiinframe that dii2mi22e2 u2 temporariily but iid have two 2upply a red herriing iin the detaiil2.
CTA: drone2 fiind you.
CTA: there2 no ea2y e2cape.
CCG: I THINK THAT'D WORK. I MEAN, WECAN TRY
CTA: yeah cuz iit2 liife on the liine, of cour2e youd 2ay that kk
CTA: but ii feel liike thii2 bargaiin2 a liittle one2iided
CCG: OH FUCK ME AR EYOU SERIOSU???
CGC: 3H3H3H3H3

>>1532
CCG: YOU SHOULD BE HELPIGN ME WITH THIS BECAUSE I AM YUOUR FUCKING BRO, SOLLUX
CCG: AND SOMEDAY I WIL MAKE T HIS UP TO YOU AND YOU WONT REGRET HAVIGN DONE ANY OF THIS SHIT OK??
CCG: THAT ASIDE, WHAT THE HELL MAN
CCG: THAT'S REALLY FUCKED UP OK!
CTA: relax, of cour2e iim goiing two help your u2ele22 a22.
CTA: for 2ome rea2on.
CGC: HM...>:/
CTA: ?
CGC: OH NOTH1NG
CGC: BUT 1M WOND3RING
CGC: WH4T DO3S TH1S H4V3 TO DO W1TH M3?
CGC: 1 3XP3CT YOU W4NT M3 TO PULL STR1NGS TO K33P YOU H1DD3N 4ND OUT OF TH3 F1RE BUT
CGC: 1TS NOT L1K3 1 DONT H4V3 SUP3R1ORS MYS3LF!
CTA: thiing2 would be 2o much ea2iier if ff had become empre22 liike two 2weep2 ago at lea2t.
CCG: FUCKING TELL ME ABOUT IT.
CGC: 1 H4V3 F41TH 1N H3R >:]
CCG: SO WOULD YOU DO THAT, TEREZI?
CGC: 1 GU3SS!
CGC: WH4T DO 1 H4V3 TO LOS3??
CGC: B3S1D3S MY R4NK 4ND 3V3RYTH1NG 1 WORK3D FOR 4ND MY L1F3 >:?
CCG: I
CCG: I KNWO
CCG: I MEAN YOU AREN'T OBLIGATED BUT FOR FUCK'S SAKE, PLEASE.
CCG: I AM DISCARDING ALL AMNOSITY FOR YOU IDIOTS HERE OK?
CCG: I AM BEGGING BOTH OF YOU, JUST PLEASE.
CCG: HELP ME OUT, I DON'T WANT TO DIE.
CCG: I HAVE WAY TOO MUHC I ST ILLHAVENT AACCOMPLISHED AND
CCG: FUCK THIS FUCKING BROKEN BCKSPCAE!!!
CCG: UGHGJKF P
CCG: PLEASE YOU F UCKING ASSHOLES HOW MUCH MORE PATHETIC DO I HAVE TO MAKE MYSELF
CCG: I CAN ONLY PROSTRATE MYSELF SO MUCH BEFORE YOUR FEET.
CCG: I'LL OWE YOU BOTH AND I'L LMAKE TI UP TO YOU, I SWEAR.
CCG: OK???
CTA: ok.
CTA: the brood 2hould be upon u2 iin about 168 hour2
CTA: that 2hould be enough tiime for u2 to orche2trate thii2 b2 and then go iinto hiidiing, but we have two pick our tiimiing perfectly
CTA: preferably well before the ETA for the drone2
CTA: at lea2t 144 hour2 from now
CTA: iill deal wiith my mate2priit and kii2me2ii2
CCG: OK, GOOD. GREAT. THANKS.
CGC: SOUNDS L1K3 4 PL4N
CCG: ARE YOU SURE YOU'RE GOING TO BE OK FOR THIS THING TEREZI?
CGC: 3H PROB4BLY
CGC: 1M PR3TTY GOOD AT P3RSU4DING MY SUP3R1ORS 4NYW4Y >:]
CGC: I MEANT THE BROOD.
CGC: OH
CGC: 1 GU3SS... >:/
CGC: DONT WORRY ABOUT 1T 1LL B3 B3TT3R OFF TH4N MOST TH3 OTH3RS
CGC: 1 HOP3 3V3RYON3 SURV1V3S!
CTA: yeah me two
CTA: but it 2eem2 everyone2 2et up
CGC: 3V3N YOU K4RK4T >:]
CGC: OFF TO 3LOP3 W1TH YOUR SOUL BROTH3R
CCG: WOULD YOU STOP IT WITH THOSE JOKES THEY ARE SERIOUSLY DISGUSTING. FUCK YOU, MEMO OVER, WE'RE DONE HERE. MISSION-PLANNING MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
CTA: let2 keep in touch con2i2tently to be 2ure thii2 goe2 a2 2eamle22ly a2 po22ible ok
CGC: OK
CCG: YEAH OBVIOUSLY.

CCG closed memo.

> Karkat: Stop talking to these assholes and do something productive!

WHY IS THIS ADVENTURE SO SEXY. JAZ ILU YOU ARE AMAZING.

that said, since this scene seems pretty wrapped up:
>be sollux. let's see where you are in life and what you are thinking right now about this thing karkat just talked about.
>alternately, be terezi and do the same.

I seriously can't get over how amazing this story is. Like today's update on Homestuck was huge and I was actually more excited reading this.

Also: when it comes to Pesterlogs, there's no such thing as tl;dr.

Anyways.

>Be Terezi. Go through the same basic introduction scene Karkat did.

Sollux: get trolled by your matesprit or kismesis.

GOD WHY IS YOUR WRITING SO RIDICULOUSLY GOOD? I lose my shit EVERYTIME.

first of all, thank you guys for your kind words!! I don't want to go through the thread and individually respond to them because I don't want to clutter the thread too much (with my responses specifically; by all means, you guys can go as crazy as you want), but I want you to know I do appreciate them a lot. I saw some of the responses on my phone while I was at work and your collective excitement made me happy enough to get through the shift, haha. <333

also, I thought I might give a heads up about Me In General: I work full time and only have a few hours to actually work on this a day. if I have the off (like when I first started this adventure and updated ten million times in a sitting), updates will be more plentiful. otherwise, I will probably only update once a day because of STUPID OBLIGATIONS.

Karkat: Fix your backspace key.

This is badass. I physically need to see what you come up with.

>Karkat: Feel sick to your gall node over needing to beg.

>>1552
Seconded, in respect to both the command and the compliment.

I wonder if Sollux's and Terezi's matespirit/kimsesis are trolls we've never met or one of the twelve.
Also good job and all.

Oh my god, I am dying and rebirthing then dying again.
I am genuinely ANXIOUS about this and I want them to all live HOLY SHIT.

But yeah, >be one of the other two
I really don't care which, I want to see them boooooth.
( Also jaz you bastard. I'm falling in love with Terezi again. ; v; )

I feel the need to point out how much better you are at writing Terezi than me. Seriously, there's like some subtle little aspect of her that I cannot wrap my head around that you manage to nail. Kudos.

>CG: AND HAVE A GROWN ASS MATURE NORMAL CONVERSATJON
>TA: what2 a conversatjon and how wiill ii know when iit2 reached maturiity

I have tears in my eyes. This is my favorite part. Can't wait for more~

>>1565
PP says they're not trolls we know.
Check it out: http://www.formspring.me/poipa

I love the way you draw Karkat. So much love. All the love!

>karkat: cross your goddamn ungrateful lil fingers that all of this works out. and go get a new backspace key, yikes.

OHMYGOSH
you're the star
it's you

there is just something so genuinely exciting about this adventure. kudos.

This has me wrapping my base, if you know what I mean.

>>1594
That's fairly disconcerting.

>>1594
o vin.
o u.

>>1575
oh god thanks, she is really hard to write ahahaha.

You are now SOLLUX CAPTOR.

As already implied by the former conversations, you are still unsurprisingly apeshit bananas at computers, and you still know ALL THE CODES. All of them. You have learned every new code that's been made now since you were 6 to ensure your OMNIHACKING LEETCRED. You are the unchallenged authority on MAINFRAME NETWORKING and ARMADA DESIGNATION PROGRAMMING. And though all your friends still recognize your unparalleled achievements as a TOTALLY SICK HACKER and your superiors value you as an IRREPLACEABLE GENIUS, you feel like you could be better. It's still one of a number of things you still SORT OF BEAT YOURSELF UP ABOUT for NO VERY GOOD REASON during sporadic and debilitating BIPOLAR MOOD SWINGS, which you STILL HAVE TO DEAL WITH EVERY SHRIEKING SECOND OF GOD'S MISTAKE KNOWN AS YOUR EXISTENCE. You still have a penchant for BIFURCATION, in logic and in life. Your mutant mind is still hounded by the psychic screams of the IMMINENTLY DECEASED. Your visions foretell the deaths of your comrades and kin by the fleetful, and yet unlike the typical sightless prophet of doom, you are still gifted with VISION TWOFOLD.

For now.

A little less than a week ago, you agreed to a COMPLETELY INSANE plan suggested by your COMPLETELY INSANE FRIEND. In hindsight, you CAN'T REALLY BELIEVE YOU'RE GOING TO DO THIS, and the daunting prospect looming over your shoulder is a little HORRIFYING. In fact, you DON'T REALLY UNDERSTAND YOURSELF. But you've bailed him out before and done equally CRAZY SHIT which turned out okay. If it entails the salvation of your BEGRUDGINGLY ADMITTED good friend, you guess you're okay with that. Your trolltag is obviously still twinArmageddons and you 2till tend two 2peak wiith a biit of a lii2p two no one2 2urprii2e.

You've just been released from your duties and you are feeling listless.

What will you do?

WOW this one came really late, I'm sorry guys!! I got home late and didn't have a lot of time to begin with, and then I got super distracted. herp

>Troll someone we haven't seen yet


>I suggest someone who is typically adorable and has rather large horns

>>1637
You consider that, and for some reason, some HUGEHORNED WOOBIE irrationally comes to mind. What the hell, you guys aren't even really friends. Well, you are, but you aren't close. You don't really talk. The last time you talked to him was probably before you checked on Karkat and embarked on your IDIOT MISSION.

And even then, it was really more for a FRIEND'S CONCERN rather than your own, if you can even label your abstract relationship in such a way. And the concern was definitely understandable. Not everyone survives THE GREAT BROOD.
==>

OK THIS POST DOES HAVE TWO PARTS but it's 5:30am so I am going to sleep. The second part will be up tomorrow; prompts between this post and the next will probably be unused, so save them! Unless you just want to make hilar suggestions just cuz, then by all means, troll away.

>>1638
All of this running around and forcing yourself to GIVE A SHIT is frankly rather exhausting. It's not that you want anyone to die, but this isn't exactly something you're known to do. It's almost as if you took the place of a particular ICEQUEEN MCBITCHFANGS as TOP MEDDLER. Her long discarded FUSSY TIARA metaphorically sits snuggly around your horns. You do not like it.

Alas, in this case, IT IS THE LEAST YOU CAN DO. You probably should check on TAVROS NITRAM. He's in a situation that's similarly sticky as Karkat's is and faces threat of culling. And, like Karkat, it's a miracle he saved himself from getting culled before he made it into the exam screenings.

On the other hand, it's NOT REALLY YOUR PROBLEM. Neither is Karkat's, but that's different.
==>

>>1704
An eerie creak of metal resounds through the hall in which you currently stand. This is followed by a metalic groan, titanium straining, and the lights down the hall flicker out in a shower of sparks.

You are now enshrouded in darkness.

This is your cue to MAKE IT YOUR PROBLEM. Despite the threat, you only feel MILDLY ANNOYED.

You resolve to retreat to your PRIVATE RESPITE QUARTERS and troll Tavros Nitram.
==>

>>1707
You change out of your uniform, check your BEEHIVE MAINFRAME and eventually settle in to troll some BIGHORNED WOOBIE.

Let's do this thing.

Yeah.

------------

--- twinArmageddons [TA] began trolling adiosToreador [AT] ---

TA: hey
AT: oH,
AT: uH, hEY,
AT: tHIS IS KIND OF A SURPRISE,
TA: ii know, 2orry two bug you
AT: oH, uH, yOU AREN'T BOTHERING ME,
AT: oR ANYTHING,
TA: ok
TA: 2o you and kk are in a 2iimiilar prediicament
AT: uHHH,
TA: yeah
TA: he doe2nt have a kii2me2ii2 or mate2priit
TA: that diidnt happen to change recently for you diid iit, cuz the brood i2 really 2oon
AT: oH NO!
AT: iS KARKAT GOING TO GET, uHHH,
AT: wELL, yOU KNOW,
AT: cULLED, }:(
TA: dont worry about iit, he2 gonna be fine
TA: iim less confiident about you though, no offen2e
TA: 2o plea2e for the love of FUCK 2o ii can 2top a2kiing thiis tell me what ii2 up already
AT: uM,
AT: wELL, i AM WITHOUT PARTNERS,
AT: eRR, iN ANY QUADRANT, tHAT IS,
TA: oh god dammiit
TA: wa2nt kk tryiing to help you wiith thii2 2tupiid 2hiit
TA: he ba2iically 2et mo2t of u2 up wiith our current partner2, even iif iit2 mo2tly ju2t untiil the brood ii2 over maybe
TA: are you that fuckiing helple22, AT
AT: uHH,
AT: i GUESS,
TA: ii think you and kk are the only one2, thii2 ii2 2o 2hiitty
AT: sORRY,
TA: that2 ju2t annoyiing dont do that
AT: uM, i'M NOT,
AT: rEALLY SURE WHAT ELSE TO SAY RIGHT NOW,
AT: aT THAT, uHH, pARTICULAR STATEMENT,
AT: tHAT ISN'T AN APOLOGY,
AT: sORRY,
TA: maybe there2 2tiill tiime, ii can talk two kk
TA: why diidnt you tell him?
AT: i, uH, dID,
AT: bUT HE MOSTLY JUST YELLED, uHHH, a LOT,
AT: aND KINDA GOT WAY OFF TOPIC,
AT: aBOUT MY PROBLEM, i MEAN,
TA: oh that2 great.
TA: good job kk.
TA: way two kiill your friiend2.
AT: wELL,
AT: hONESTLY,
AT: uHHHHH,
AT: iT WOULDN'T, mATTER ANYWAY,
AT: eVEN IF I HAD PARTNERS,
TA: what
TA: ii cant beliieve iim heariing thii2 twiice iin a week
TA: why not?
AT: i, uHHH,
AT: gOODNESS, tHIS IS REALLY, uHH, eMBARRASSING, bUT,
AT: i DON'T, uH,
TA: dont what
AT: hAVE,
AT: wELL,
AT: gENITALS, aNYMORE,
TA: oh holy FUCK are you 2eriiou2?
AT: uHH, yEAH, i GUESS,
AT: i MEAN, aCTUALLY, i AM PRETTY POSITIVE THAT I AM, wELL, sERIOUS,
AT: i COULDN'T PARTICIPATE EVEN IF I, uHH, wANTED, wHICH I HONESTLY WOULDN'T, eVER,
AT: sHE REMOVED MY, uHHH, eNTIRE LOWER TORSO,
AT: oR, rATHER,
AT: fROM MY HIPS DOWN,
TA: fuck
AT: yEAH,
AT: hONESTLY, i WAS KIND OF, uHH, eXPECTING THIS TO HAPPEN
AT: sOMEDAY,
TA: that ii2 2o fuckiing depre22iing, fuck you for even beiing 2o 2ad.
TA: you are the 2adde2t troll.
TA: anyway dont worry.
AT: uHH,
AT: wHAT,
TA: youll be fine.
TA: thii2 2weep, at lea2t.
AT: wHY DO YOU SAY THAT,
TA: becau2e ii thiink youre cur2ed.
TA: whiich for the record ii2nt a miiracle.
TA: there2 nothiing ii can do two help you and iim 2orry, but iit doe2nt even matter ii thiink. ii dont need two.
AT: uHHH,
TA: ju2t keep calm iif you can.
AT: i DON'T,
AT: rEALLY UNDERSTAND,
AT: wHAT DO YOU MEAN?
TA: ii cant 2ay exactly.
TA: 2orry.
AT: uHH,
TA: ugh ii have two go, iim gettiing a miigraiine.
TA: 2o much bull2hiit.

--- twinArmageddons [TA] ceased trolling adiosToreador [AT] ---

>>1710
>Be the saddest troll

Deleted my interrupting posts. Clearly I am stupid. -_-;

>>1714
Oh no, not at all!! It happens all the time! D: I just didn't want you to think I was ignoring your prompts lol..

>Sollux: If Tavros has robotic legs, consider making the case to your superiors that having a cyborg fauna-empath in your ranks might be worth making an exception for in the culling department.

OR

>Sollux: Troll the crazy bitch who decided to inadvertently kill Tavros, just to let off steam.

Oh my GOG tav. That is... I can't... what.... AAAA!


/flipsout

this adventure is so great, but
t-tavros...;_;

Gog dammit! Tavros deserves a penis!

Poor sex-starved woobie.

>>1740
He said he didn't want it, though!
(Which to me is totally believable.)

>>1718
Thissss.

>>1740
Agreed
I mean shit Tav got screwed in this universe, at least in the Prime Universe it seems just his legs got cut off and he got a pair of snazzy metal pants
SHH this is my head cannon
you will do nothing to disturb it!
HISSSSSSSSS

>Sollux: Wriggle like a grub and rub your bone bulge all over your fancy computer.

>Tavros: Weep in the horn pile

>>1750
http://www.mspaintadventures.com/storyfiles/hs2/02118.gif

I don't know about that!
but obviously, you're free to keep solid on your own headcanon, because this is just my interpretation; I'm not looking to refute it or anything!

if it's any consolation, Tavros gets to win in a big way later on. I do agree that some good rompin' is the least of what Tavros deserves after everything he's gone for, but I think what he ends up getting is a lot more important than sexuality and its given nuances. :>

So he has a motorcycle, then? XD

Horray for an asexy asexual Tavros! :D

>>1765
My defence of that is
1.) Aradia got the metal skirt/possibly entire dress
2.) if you were Hussie would you make a completly different sprite or just recolor the pants?

I mean Equius gives pants to his robots so why not people with robot parts?

but ill stop arguing now
cause i dont wanna sound like a douche
CONTINUE ON WITH YOUR FAN ADVENTURE

>>1766
LMFAO AGH IM DYING

>>1769
LOL IT'S COOL and that's a good defense to defend your headcanon! but I don't know, Hussie's redrawn sprites plenty of times. I think he probably just didn't think about whether or not Tavros gets to keep his dick, frankly; I'm just going by what I see haha. removing all of my bias for Tavros as a character, I just think it makes the most sense.

I understand where you're coming from, and I have no problems with this fanventure, but I personally think that there's no way they could have chainsawed Tavros clean in half. He must have just had his legs cut, but then either metal pants were added or a casing needed to be put on to hold the legs to the body or something IDK. It's not cause I'm all LOL HE NEEDS A DICK but WOW WHAT HE SHOULD BE DEAD.

That said, carry on my wayward parfait.

>>1776
I thought about that too! like ever since I first saw robolegs. it kinda makes me afraid to know how intimate the workings of his legs really are with his body! it makes me feel like they're a lot more interconnected (Tav's legs and the robolegs) than it even appears. but Hussie doesn't always make a ton of sense with these kinda things himself so it's hard to say or even justify analyzing it so much, fff.

that said, a casing to hold the legs to his body makes sense! and alas, it's too late to go back! cannot retcon. I'll just have to research and justify my horrible and cruel decision.

>>1776
>>1779
I agree that Tavros was not cut in half because cutting around the pelvis would mean that his intestines would pretty much spill out, buuuut yeah, it's not really a big deal, and I am more than willing to roll with whatever the cannon of this adventure is. :D Plus the plot regarding Tav and how he's going to avoid getting culled is keeping me in suspense, and there wouldn't be this story line if you took a different stance on his body. Your decision is cruel but exciting! :D

>>1788
thanks! also, for the record, he's not missing his entire lower half. as he said, just from his hips down, which would still be incredibly damaging to his guts regardless, but not as detrimental as half of his entire torso. I've met half a person (less a person than BR!Tavros), man, but I don't think Tavros survives the same way. either way, it is possible!

also I'm a little conflicted on which prompts to take for this update and I didn't get home until late, so have this shitty INTERMISSION NUMBER TWO. I have Friday and Saturday off, so I hope to do a lot of shit in those times and get a post done for tomorrow.

Equius built a fully functioning circulatory system; I'm pretty sure he could compensate for any organ damage done to Tavros.

>>1790
that's kind of what I was going for regarding Tavros's legs being more infused to his body than a mere attachment but aaaa I didn't really think of a way specifically for the two parts to be linked, which, as I mentioned above, I might research a little to figure out how specifically this would be working out (but I don't think it'll ever even really come up in Baserapt).

also wtf, re: Equius's genius--wtf did Equius even make Tavros's legs out of in Homestuck canon?? miracles.

^The entire base they're floating around in is made of computers and metal. What didn't he make the legs out of? XD

>>1793
Aradiabot fit in Equius's sylladex until he delivered it. I just figured he carried robots with him everywhere and stripped those for parts.

>>1797
oh, that makes sense! regarding the sylladex, I mean. cuz even if they're in a place full of potential material, I didn't suspect he'd have the tools necessary to work with the shit around him. :D

Looking at his legs in Vriska's chest in Alterniabound, it seems his legs were indeed cut off individually. Doesn't matter, though: this is an alternate continuity. Maybe there were complications that required more things be removed. :D

>>1798
They can presumably alchemize in the Veil, too, since Vriska managed to get the Nic Cage stuff.

>>1799
OH HEY I forgot about his legs in Alterniabound.
well shit.
guess I better plot up some stuff.

I did intend from the beginning that both Karkat and Tavros would face danger from the coming brood, and Tavros's dilemma is intended to shed some light on a plot-point. so I was gonna roll with an inability to reproduce but hmm. I mean obviously I still am going to/have to roll with that, but I guess I gotta get into some meatier specifics now! oops.

>>1802
Well, hey, you've already stated the amputation didn't happen under the same circumstances, you're the only one who knows who sHE is.

I guess Vriska got over her terrifying crush on Tavros, then, if he's got nobody in either of the mating quadrants. I thought for sure she'd be in one of them. But then, Karkat was probably right about Tavros' inability to hate.

>>1802
Easy-peasy. His genitals could have easily needed be removed for practical reasons regarding the metal case that would go around his lower body, but perhaps in a different scenario, you can say that because the surgery was done in a makeshift manner, he got an infection that rotted off a lot of his flesh (and he miraculously didn't die; I'd call some troll biology bullshit on this one) including genitals and that's why he can't breed.

Tavros's legs don't work, in canon he's basically a paraplegic from a troll-equivalent spinal cord injury. Depending on how and where he's injured, it could indeed affect the nerves and sensitivity of genital function. Quoth wikipedia, impotence, and varying degrees of continence and problems with the bladder/bowel muscles are common.

Realistically, chainsawing off Tavros's legs would just be the beginning. Some degree of internal work to interface with/replace/augment the nervous tissue would be necessary. Going in from the legs up to the spinal nerves, etc.

So depending on how this particular Tavros's injury happened, and what his robot prosthesis is, and how well it works...you've still got wiggle room.

Tavros's junk didn't work right/well/at all after his accident, he wasn't all that interested/cared much before hand (Tavros as asexual is pretty easy to buy), and trolls don't got replacement bone bulge technology...

It all works out.

Holy Crap
I really didnt mean to derail the fanventure by spouting my little headcanon.
I didnt mean to imply that PP should change her story to accomadate or that she need to explain why she chose to write what she wrote.
Though it did spark a neat discussion.
Again im sorry.
umm
>Tavros: enter the story proper

Goddamn my question would not fit on Formspring, so I hope you don't mind me leaving this here:

How did Karkat grow/change in the offscreen time you aged him up? I know BR isn't running long enough to see the other parts of his personality, and given that you can't say he's only REAG just yet (Altough it seems that way)- but specifically, I want to know if he finally ditched the whole IMPOTENT BRAVADO and PETTY ANTAGONISM thing (Ala that last Jade log), or is it still sorta there? How has me matured, or regressed? Or is he sill the same- and why? I'd like to hear your take on him after all those off-screen sweeps. (I am obsessed with characterization and I have a total boner for analytical jargon likesakhfhaskdfsforgiveme)



Ok. That's all.

I MADE A DISCUSSION THREAD.
../../gen/res/418.html
Because it's clear this is generating a loooot of discussion.

>>1827
LOL no worries notAnon!! it is interesting and a lot of stuff that came up was valid, it's cool! I just wasn't anticipating to get such an uproarious reaction from people, it's cool! I didn't think you were trying to impose that I change anything for a second, ftr.

>>1859
IT'S OK MAN, I LOVE ANALYTICAL JARGON. Why are you even apologizing, that is silly. You are silly. This kind of thing will from now on go in the /gen/ thread that Katie made, but I'll answer this here since it went up before the thread did!!

Karkat has both grown and regressed. He still has a ton of IMPOTENT BRAVADO and PETTY ANTAGONISM, but the latter is a lot more subdued; he mostly just kind of holds capslocked grudges but acts a lot less on contrary stupidity (for example, regarding Hivebent canon: compiling THO2E FUCKIING FIILE2).

In the ways he's matured, he buries his emotions a little less in his angry hyperbole. He still does it a lot as an insecure reflex, and he's doubly insecure now that he's actually entered the fucked up empire of troll society, but this is probably more deflective to strangers; to those who've known him since he was a kid on Alternia, he might be a little less frothy under the right circumstances.

As for how he's regressed, his fear has replaced a lot of his ambition he had as a child, and he calls that former aspiration something of a defect of his past self's dipshit naitivity because little Karkat had no idea how hard being an adult was going to be. He thought he knew, but he really didn't. He's also too insecure about his caste to really get seriously involved in any relationships, at the risk of his genetic material making a freakish showcase of his mutation.

He also saddles a lot of guilt for relying on his friends so much, particularly Sollux. His thrive to become a hero is still there, but he's having trouble placing in what way he intends to go in that regard: a hero in the eyes of troll society as a bloodthirsty killing machine without fear or remorse, similar to how he felt as a child? Or a hero in that he gets over his fears enough to man up and pay his friends back? Terezi is gunning for him to grow into the latter and she's been encouraging him in his own way, which we might see a bit of. Ultimately and presently, Karkat wants to outdo his friends in tipping the FAVOR SCALE, mostly so that he doesn't have to feel like he owes them any damn thing. This may be subject to change! It depends on the story's evolution.

I hope that was satisfactory. ' u '

>>1871
omg thank you katie aaaaaaa I love you. /touches discreetly

>>1822
Yeah, it's all very...messy. I mean, I could expound and build upon the nitty-gritty TMIs of Tavros's current mode of survival, BUT I DON'T THINK IT'S REALLY NECESSARY.


OK GUYS I SWEAR I AM WILL GET THIS UPDATE UP TONIGHT LMFAO
the recent update seeded a lot more discussion than it did prompts, so I was kind of flopping around like a dingus.
way2backpedal, PP.

have a BR Kanaya

Mmkay! Have another prompt:

>Sollux: Discreetly break into the ship's DATABASE. Look at the DOSSIERS for YOU, KARKAT, TEREZI, and anyone else on the ship who might get involved. Probably best to get a handle on your respective reputations so you know how to properly abuse them.

oh my god don't tell me kanaya is still in love with vriska, that would be the saddest thing. And I mean this in a not mean way. ;_;

>>1877
oh, she isn't! but Things Are Complicated regardless.

Oh god, poor Tavros I never thought of that fact till reading your adventure and it makes me so sad that he'll never grace a pail with his genetic goodness. *epic tear*

>>1910
Yep. Those marvelous horns are at a genetic dead end (in this story).

>>1875
That actually isn't a bad idea. You've already done some work on that, but you could have done better. You could have done more. You could always do better on account of you are KIND OF A USELESS SACK OF SHIT.

You definitely weren't kidding about the FREAKBRAIN MIGRAINE. You are never kidding about those migraines. Never.

This is all starting to STRESS YOU OUT a little, which doesn't help the problem of your splitting head. You're pretty good at keeping your cool like you're a refrigerator full of ice inside a freezer, but that's only until you FLIP THE FUCK OUT. You like to think you're more STABLE than you used to be. You've been WORKING ON IT. It's a PERSONAL ISSUE that's really none of anyone's fucking business, so you'd prefer it if we BACKED THE FUCK UP OFF THE CLIFFSIDE OF A VOLCANO.

You have no idea what to do about Tavros. There's nothing you can do. You can barely keep Karkat alive. And what an UNGRATEFUL ASSHOLE he is sometimes! He can just go and SAVE HIS OWN HUSK. The fact that you're always keeping him alive is ENABLING him, coaxing him to your SAFETY SHOULDER. You should have listened to Terezi. She's always right. You should have listened to her. But you CAN'T STOP YOURSELF. You'd never admit it, but you're TOO AFRAID that the ONE TIME you don't try to save is ass, it'll really be the end and you'll be the worst friend ever.

In fact, you already ARE THE WORST FRIEND EVER. How could you even think about abandoning Karkat? Saving his ass is the least you can do to make up for what a fucking horrible HORRORTERROR SHITMONGER of a freak you are. You're always FREAKING OUT ON HIM.

Additionally, you AREN'T SURE YOU REALLY HAVE THE GLOBES TO PULL OFF THIS OPERATION. Your earnest desperation had you ACT TOO QUICKLY.

The pressure is immense. You are scared. You are irritated. You are far too many things at once.

A voice reassures you.

It will be fine, it says.
==>

>>1915
You scream that you don't want to hear it without realizing you are kind of SHRIEKING ALONE in your PRIVATE RESPITE QUARTERS. This isn't uncommon, or is it very flattering. You do BETTER THAN YOU USED TO, but you're still PRETTY BAD and frequently have these episodes.

The mind bees nervously drift away.
==>

>>1916
"Calm down. Things will be okay.

It will be okay. You are being ridiculous."

And you agree. You ARE being ridiculous. You just need to calm down and focus.

Calm down, calm down, calm down.
>Sollux: Calm down.

>>1917
You have successfully calmed the fuck down. This wasn't particularly debilitating. Regardless, you have a headache that screams with the pain of a thousand voices of the imminently murdered. Things pulse and haze around you. Your lungs ache. You try not to think about how fucked up any of this is, how fucked up you are, and how fucked up things are going to be.

What the fuck was that, anyway? You don't even know. What a dumb thing to freak out about. You HUMILIATE YOURSELF with RETROSPECT. Of course it's going to be fine. You have this shit on APPLEBERRY ENCRYPTION LOCKDOWN BLAST. It's so locked it's downright OBSCENE.

You focus on the fact that you have control. It's reassuring.

You are okay.
>Sollux: Now fuck the system. Aww yee.

>>1918
You resolve to do just that. Hacking into the system undetected is something more than even simple. You go over the respective DOSSIERS in the SYSTEM INVENTORY. You've appropriately altered them already.

In the past several days, you've studied each form as needed. You've formulated with your ACCOMPLICES. You think you have A PRETTY STEADY PLAN.

There's still the issue of securing a CRUISER CRAFT to yourself and Karkat. A cruiser is theoretically ideal for its size, but actually getting to the cruiser without rousing suspicion is tricky.

And leaving your COLONY BASE VESSEL, for that matter. There's only A LITTLE BIT OF TIME LEFT, but despite your UNCERTAINTY, you are PRETTY CERTAIN you can do this.

>>1919
>You must know someone in the mechanics and maintenance division. Maybe they could hook you up with access to a suitable craft?

>>1935

>Maybe a certain MECHANIC would have connections to said crafts!

>Sollux: Hack yourself, Karkat, and Terezi a false DISCIPLINARY MISSION to investigate CYBER-CRIMES against the Empire. YOU are there for OBVIOUS REASONS. TEREZI is legally sanctioned to ARREST the offending troll. KARKAT is there as SECURITY. The three of you will need a CRUISER to reach this non-existent troll's hideout.

Augh my prompts are so long. Sorry. -_-;

Sssssso, how do you feel about people making icons and such of this adventure?

>>1951
I second this proposal.

>Sollux: Examine the red text in Terezi's dossier.

in my dream, it's you, you're the star

>>1954
that's just fine!

I don't have any prompts because I'm an unimaginative idiot 8| but I just wanted to delurk to say how much I love this adventure. Everything about it is amazing <3

>>1919
Contact one of your romantic partners to get help nabbing the cruiser. S/he is pretty good at this kind of thing.

>be the sane voice in sollux's head.

>>HIT UP KANAYA FOR HELP. She has hella connections. And I mean she's so into helping people and she'd be all over that shit because that's totally her dig and why would she not want to right right

RIGHT

I am going to theorize that the voice in Sollux's head is Aradia, by the way. Who is good and dead and ghostly, but on the 'benevolently haunting him' side of things.

>Contact your glubbing ex to see if she'll be willing to give you access to her connections.

>>2063
see attached image

>>2065
YOU ARE FREE TO THEORIZE uhuhu

>>2067
Sollux and Feferi didn't have A Thing. Sollux never died! Feferi was never a witch of life.

ALSO SORRY FOR THE LACK OF UPDATES these last few days were really weird. Really busy and I feel a little artblocked.

>>2092
Though they did talk before, mainly Feferi talking with Eridan that Sollux wasn't a bad guy

>>2095
It's not even disclosed with absolutely concrete evidence that they are involved romantically in canon; in my point of view, they're probably waxing scarlet.

Additionally, whether or not they talked before Sollux's death is ultimately irrelevant. They weren't involved, and I think it was Sollux bein' a hero that kinda tipped the scales romantically. So...they wouldn't be exes in this storyline lol.

>This is a solid plan, call this one Plan Red. For Plan Blue, do you know anybody who would do pity pailing?

>>2097
> Consider Tavros as a possible matchmaking option. Neither of them have any chance whatsoever of getting anyone else. Maybe they could just, like, fake it.

> Wait that's a fucking terrible idea. Just stick to Plan Red. This is going to be the first and only time you really have no desire to bifurcate a problem.

> Consider not doing it again somewhere down the road so that you will have not done it exactly twice.

Karkat: Recap your miserable existence.

>>1981
Wait, they aren't. Actually, your kismesis would probably be able to assist you, but like fuck if they would want to. Besides, it would only rouse suspicion--more than you have already, anyway. You have to be as independent in this operation as you can afford.

Contacting your ROMANTIC PARTNERS is a little daunting, if a little pointless. There's a heavy guilt that twists and coils in the pit of your gut, but you've already come to terms with it. You can't tell them WHAT YOU'RE UP TO with the risk of being found out. As a result, despite the short notice, you've been encouraging them at last minute to FIND SOMEONE ELSE. If all else fails, you've even suggested the PAIL EACH OTHER OUT. thank you anon way early into this adventure for inventing this term. I lol'd heartily.

The things you do for friendship. You still wonder a little bit about WHAT IN THE FUCK YOU ARE DOING, but you don't want to tread in that darkness for too long, lest you FREAK THE FUCK OUT again.

This is all very stressful for you.

>Sollux: Examine the red text in Terezi's dossier.

>>2137

>>1960
It's nothing too unusual. Her profile, like the profiles of many other trolls, goes on for pages more even yet--there is classified information you are also privvy to. It feels a little invasive and not your place, but you have no choice.

The red text entails Terezi's title as CHIEF COMMANDER OF THE DISCIPLINATRIX, specializing in INTERRORGATIONS. Her profile first reads her age and the general rundown of the empire's thoughts. Additionally, she is still studying to join the ranks of the LEGISLACERATORS. She seems to be a valuable asset.

If not a tricky one.

There have been reports about her dangerous cunning, but you know that she is too cunning for anyone to believe that. You also know who's responsible for these multiple reports. We all know. Everyone.

Her cunning and EXPERTISE WITH PULLING COLONY-SPREAD STRINGS is exactly why she must remain at base while you and Karkat retreat. You've even located an ideal planet, hopefully far from the VICIOUS SCOUTING of the IMPERIAL DRONES. Either way, you're certain they won't think to look.
==>

>>2140
For now, you've really done everything you can. It's all in the hands of FATE. And Terezi, you guess.

It's the only way.

Dramatic hyperbole aside, hey what's that DOOMED BIGHORN WOOBIE up to?

>>2141
> Find out.

:3c

>be the bighorned woobie.

>Inspect DOOMED BIGHORNED WOOBIE's dossier, if he has one.

Tavros: Stop tending to the EXQUISITE FAUNA for a few moments and introduce yourself.

a doodle that personifies me being impatient for yesterday's lack of updates. I am going to try to finish this one I am working on right now by tonight!!!

>>2244
not sure whether that's adorable or scary.
those tiny, tiny pupils...

>>2265
with nepeta I usually try to aim for both B)

Nepeta is both. A lot of people seem to forget the whole "hunts and eats large animals with her claws and teeth" and "paints with blood" parts of her personality. Nepeta could probably kick the ass of any troll if it weren't for all the mutations and Eridan's hilariously powerful gun.

>>2302
this is pretty much the case by my spin of things, yes! Nepeta's probably one of the least unhappy trolls with this lifestyle of endless murder.

ALSO JFC SORRY FOR NO UPDATES LATELY, my life has swallowed me whole. things have been happening. those things know what/who they are. but I have the next two days off so here's hoping!

I would like to note that the title "the saddest troll" has now come into my regular usage when talking about Tavros. Especially after that Jade fiasco.

Truly, he is the saddest troll. God damn him even for being so sad.

But he is no longer sad! He has convinced himself he is full of confidence! He does not believe in himself; he believes in rufio, who believes in him, but who is make believe, so Tavros vicariously believes in himself!

But he doesn't believe in Rufio who believes in him anymore!

AT: i'M PRETENDING THAT BEING FULLY HONEST ABOUT RUFIO'S FAKENESS, AND,
AT: bEING UP FRONT ABOUT HIS GENERAL FRAUDULENCE, tHAT IT WILL ONLY GIVE ME EXTRA CONFIDENCE,
AT: i'M PRETENDING THAT AS HARD AS i CAN, iN THE MOST CONFIDENT WAY,

THE SADDEST TROLL

need more BR in my life ;A;

gosh Tavros how did you manage to get even more pitiable

>>2398
I KNOW SORRY. I've been busy and now that I've had a couple of days to do this, I...wtf, updatessss. I'm trying to reevaluate his character after this whole thingy is through, but I'm not sure when it really will be... but I don't wanna get retconned! rofl

BUT I HAVE AN UPDATE ANYWAY AND I'MMA POST IT. hopefully I'll have time tonight to respond to prompts.

>>2414
I wouldn't worry to much. Out AU tavros had a very different life from the alpha timeline tavros. (unless you are giving him working legs. Then he will need LOTS OF CONFIDENCE (But no genitals (oxymoron?(lol))))

>>2141
You are now TAVROS NITRAM and you are THE SADDEST TROLL. You have self esteem issues and you still retain all of your childish hobbies and most of your mannerisms. The author is pretty sure her audience GETS THE POINT and doesn't need to carry on that GIMMICK.

As everyone knows, your LIFE SUCKS AND IT IS HARD. Mostly, you manage to DEAL WITH THIS. But right now, you are having a hard time DEALING WITH IT. It'll pass and you guess you'll be okay, but you're presently a little freaked out about your maybe looming death and Karkat's also maybe looming death, as well as the fates of those involved in rescuing him. It's HEROIC and you ADMIRE THAT, but it also kind of SCARES YOU. You are just FUCKING SCARED.

After talking to Sollux, you went for a walk to calm your nerves. Then you remembered PEOPLE REALLY UNNERVE YOU and decided to go back to your joint respite block, where you pray for solitude.

What will you do?

>>2415
He has robolegs! His whole crisis before drafting was that his legs were useless and so he'd be murdered upon the involuntary examination, so if he had non-functional legs at present, he'd...be dead.

BUT NO GENITALS OH NO, EXTRA CONFIDENCE NEEDED!?

>Talk to Gamzee, he's still one of your closest friends after all.

:U???

> Do what you always do when you are nervous. PLAY CARDS.

> No one wants to play stupid kid games with you though, so take out that photograph of Tinkerbull you have and pretend you are thirteen and playing against him again. Like old times.

> God you miss Tinkerbull. Almost as much as you miss having real hips.

>Tavros: Cry woobily like old times. Subsequently man up and talk to your JADEBLOOD MEDIATOR for some advice.

>Tavros: At least you're flying...through space!

>>2416
>Ponder current status in the adult world.
>Take a chill pill.
>Admire poster of fairy in background.

> Talk to one of the people you've met in the past four sweeps.

>>2419
Second.

>Tavros: At least you're a CAVALREAPER }:D

>>2418

You don't understand because you are the females.

There are support groups for your kind.

:(

;)

>>2430
wait what the fuck

>>2431
I think the implication is that due to being female you do not understand the intrinsic bond between male and male member.
And he construes your removal of Tavros's as cruel and unusual.
Then he appears to try and flirt.
Aint got no clue what thats about

Hope that helped

>>2433
oh ok
jaysus christ dudes I wasn't serious I APOLOGIZE FOR MY INSENSITIVE VAGINA-ING

if it makes you feel any better, I'd remove any number of a lady's excruciatingly sensitive genitalia and feel just as unremorseful because it's a fictional story.

>Tavros: Refuse to bother Karkat about helping you when his own life is already in danger.

AND/OR

>Tavros: Take responsibility for saving yourself. Consider making yourself as indefensible as possible to the empire. If you're awesome enough, they might give you a pass on the no-genitals thing.

AND/OR

>Tavros: Troll Feferi and ask her if there's anything she can do to get you a pardon or something.

OR

>Tavros: Defect. With your powers you could probably convince any other race Trolls are at war with to let you join them and not kill you.

Yeah, sorry, I had too many prices and val-err...ideas. I hope Tavros is a pilot instead of a cavalreaper, personally. He loves to fly.

Oh wow. That was...really supposed to be "indefensible as possible". Yikes. XD

>>2421
Why would you do that? That's not going to solve anything. You don't cry! You didn't even cry when you got MINDJUMPED off a cliff and had your legs MANGLED TO HOLY FUCKALL. Sometimes you want to cry, but you still just don't.
==>
LMFAO ARGH HOW MANY MORE TIMES DO I NEED TO REPOST THIS
ok guys I need to go to sleep, alas. I have another post following this one, so any prompts sent after this image will unfortunately be disregarded out of necessity. I'll finish this update tomorrow after work

SHIT! I MEAN INDISPENSABLE HOW DID I DO THAT TWICE?!

>>2443
LOL IT'S OK I just fucked up posting that stupid page like 8 times.

>>2435
I meant the wink as a 'just joking', not a 'flirty' thing. I am embarrassed by this misunderstanding. So embarrassed.

You females wouldn't be able to appreciate the levels of man-barrassment going on here.

Seriously though, I'm loving this adventure big time. The genital thing doesn't bother me, I just saw it as a way to make a quick joke/troll. My bad on being a shitty prankster/troller!

>>2445
HAHA oh well! no hard feelings or whatever. I'm glad you're enjoying the adventure and I'm not actually offending you, then.

Tavros: Are you sure? It might be cathartic. How would you know if you haven't tried?

>>2442
oh tavros don't make your >_< face at the audience! D':

>>2442

>Tavros: Consult Rufio.

bump because this is quality

>Tavros: Fill two pails with Fiduspawn spunk. Maybe the drone won't notice it's not your own!

>>2488
OH GOD THE MENTAL IMAGE WON'T WASH OFF

UGH I DIDN'T GET HOME UNTIL 10PM and I have to get up early tomorrow rofl sorry OTL

KEEPING UP WITH THIS IS SO HARD SOMETIMES. but I have like a whole week off soon so hopefully I can really buckle down. dicks.

>Tavros: Consider current state and functionality of replacement legs.

This is the best adventure. The best one.
Posting just to bump this

bamp for great justice

>>2452
omg yes I want to see futuristic Rufiooooo

Aww, I hope Rufio made it this far.

>>Confirm status of Rufio.

>>2442

>>2452
>>2634
>>2650
Still, it's hard keeping up your various INNER PILLARS of SELF ESTEEM and WHATEVER SUPPORTS YOU FROM SPIRALING INTO AN ENDLESS ABYSS OF DESPAIR, especially lately. Despite Sollux's assurance, you remain afraid. His cryptic words are hard to believe and sometimes you think he is a little crazy and kind of a jerk (even if mostly well intended and um, stuff, you're sure).

The fact of the matter is that sometimes, you still need a little help. You're just that upset, and you don't particularly want to call anymore attention to yourself than necessary.

Hey, Tavros, why the long face? Oh, the Great Brood? Oh, you're going to get culled? Why's that?

...Oh.
==>

>>2679

You don't think needing SUPPORT in hard times is necessarily STRANGE OF ANYONE, but it's probably a little weird that you prefer most to go into the RECESSES OF YOUR COLORFUL IMAGINATION whenever you HIT ROCK BOTTOM.

Yes, even still.

But only sometimes, because you are SELDOM THIS DOWNTRODDEN. You're a lot less reliant on your imaginary friend (if that's even accurate anymore) than when you were 6, and you don't mention him. Mostly, you tried to believe in his fakeness rather than the VERY REAL AFFECTS HE HAD ON YOU and boldly declared his stupid fakey fake make believe existence in the face of those who MOCKED YOU. Now, you just pretend YOU DON'T BELIEVE IN HIM, THINK ABOUT HIM OR NEED HIM.

But you think about him every now and then, and your IMAGINATION's since altered him. You get more and more pumped every time you think about him. You're feeling better already! You deserved this. Dang he is so cool.

>consult rufio for advice, for old times' sakes. learn from his infinite knowledge.

This made my day.

>Author: Do the introduction gimmick anyways. It answers questions we'll have about the status of the character, their rank, and a basic status in life. We're just going to ask all those questions anyways. May as well get it out of the way.

>Tavros: Consult Vriska, as she has obviously stopped being a bitch because she is older and more mature (sarcasm)

>Tavros: Forget your childish ways and talk to someone real, someone with a personality, like a juggalo. Talk to Gamzee.

>Tavros: Consult your real-not-fake-make-believe friend! Consult Tinkerbull!

>>2693
You are now POISON PARFAIT, also known as the AUTHOR OF BASERAPT. You probably shouldn't be awake, because you are A LITTLE SICK. You are made of RESPONSIBLE DECISIONS.

You are sitting on your bed with your TABLET on your lap, as you have no DESK. Your laptop is a failing piece of shit and you went to bed at 8am and got up at noon. To reiterate for stern clarification, you are made of GOOD DECISIONS and you are also a RESPONSIBLE ADULT, which is why you are drawing this fan adventure instead of doing everything you need to be doing like RENEWING YOUR STATE IDENTIFICATION SO YOU CAN LEGALLY DRINK BEER and also BOARD PLANES, both of which are HIGHLY RELEVANT TO YOUR INTERESTS.

You aren't sure why the spotlight has suddenly shifted onto you for an obligatory SELF INDULGENT ADVENTURE SELF INSERT and you feel a little SELF CONSCIOUS because you look like a HOBO IN A WIZARD'S ROBE. You totally weren't prepared for this. You look and feel like death. You also are vaguely aware that you are responsible for the spotlight being on yourself, which is some kind of weird abstract TRANS-META you don't want to get into.
==>

>>2728
Oh, an introduction gimmick for TAVROS.

While you appreciate your reader's enthusiasm, you feel the need to MAKE A NOTE that you don't want to EXHAUST THAT ROUTINE. There are a lot of characters to introduce and YOU WEREN'T REALLY SURE WHAT THE HELL TAVROS WAS DOING WITH HIS STATUS until like three days ago, after you already posted his introduction because you COULDN'T PUT OFF THE UPDATE ANY LONGER, and Tavros was due to appear with certainty. For this, you are sorry, but you promise to reveal that information LATER IN THE STORY when it is appropriate. You hope it suffices to explain that Tavros still has all his same INTERESTS, and if there are further questions, you created your formspring just in case you HAPPENED TO FUCK UP IN A MANNER SIMILAR TO THIS (or were dragging ass too hard).

>PP: Shut the hell up and get back to the story, no one cares.

>>2729
Well okay.

You are now TAVROS NITRAM once again.

Revisiting your comforting and silly habits, you find yourself wondering what Rufio would do in this situation besides be a total badass and pinnacle of TROLL MANLINESS. You wonder what it would be like to CONSULT RUFIO for advice for such a heavy subject, but you decide that might be tricky. For one thing, you don't know if Rufio, as an extension of you, still has his genitals, so you aren't sure he would understand, but maybe he would, because he's you, but then, he probably couldn't tell you anything useful. It's a weird thing to think about. Your brain is becoming an uncomfortable place fast. Quick do something else.

>Tavros: Do something else.

>>2731

>>2697
You decide to do something else. Something else that doesn't involve DWELLING ON THE STATE OF RUFIO'S PELVIC REGIONS. You scoot up to your desk on your GRUBSTOOL, thus accessing your HUSKTOP. You open TROLLIAN and decide to troll someone real, someone with a personality, like a JUGGALO.

Gamzee gives pretty much the SHITTIEST ADVICE EVER, so you aren't going to ask for that. His company tends to assuage your wounds.

------------

--- adiosToreador [AT] began trolling terminallyCapricious [TC] ---

AT: uHH, hEY gAMZEE, aRE YOU AROUND,
TC: WhOa
TC: WeLl hEy tHeRe mY MoThErFuCkIn bUlLy bRoThEr :o)
AT: hI, gAMZEE, hOW ARE YOU,
TC: Oh yOu kNoW, pReTtY FuCkIn gOoD! nO FuCkIn cOmPlAiNtS, aLl jUsT IcEcHiLl aNd eVeN DaMn bEtTeR NoW ThAt i gOt yOu aLl uP In mY CyBeRgRiLl
AT: oH, uH, yEAH, iT'S NICE TO TALK TO YOU TOO, iT'S BEEN A WHILE
TC: MaN I FuCkIn kNoW It, FeElS LiKe iT'S BeEn eXaCtLy sOmE KiNdA FoReVeR :o( We bUsY AnD AlL
AT: yEAH, dEFINITELY,
AT: wHAT HAVE YOU BEEN UP TO,
AT: iS EVERYTHING STILL OK,
AT: oR RATHER, aRE THEY,
AT: uM, pRESENTLY OK,
AT: tHE EVERYTHINGS
TC: Oh yEaH tRoLlSeF
TC: ThE EvErYtHiNgS ArE AlL PrEtTy fUcKiN OkAy, I GuEsS. wElL LiKe bEsIdEs tHe bRoOd hAnGiNg aRoUnD ThE CoRnEr lIkE SoMe pIe sNeAkAtTaCk aLl nAsTySmAcKeD To tHe fAcE, yOu kNoW HoW It iS
AT: uM, lET'S,
AT: nOT PUT THAT KIND OF SUBJECT MATTER ON ME, iF THAT'S OK,
AT: i'M KIND OF MORE WORRIED ABOUT YOU,
TC: Aw sHiT, mY BrOtHeR, wHaT ThE FuCk aRe yOu gEtTiN YoUr sWeEt dAmN WoRrY AlL On aBoUt?
AT: i DON'T KNOW, iT'S JUST THAT, wE HAVEN'T REALLY, uHH, tALKED IN A WHILE,
AT: i DON'T REALLY KNOW WHAT'S UP WITH YOU THESE DAYS, lAST i HEARD A WHILE BACK WAS THAT YOU GOT DEMOTED, }:(
TC: AhAhAhA Oh yEaH
TC: ThAt sUrE WaS A WiCkEd tHiNg
TC: HoNk hOnK HoNk :o)
AT: i UM, oRDINARILY LIKE YOUR, uH, cLOWINING AROUND gAMZEE, bUT,
AT: i WISH YOU WOULD TAKE THESE THINGS MORE SERIOUSLY,
AT: tHEY ARE KIND OF, uHH, dANGEROUS, aCTUALLY,
AT: lIKE A LOT DANGEROUS,
TC: So i'vE BeEn iNfOrMeD, mY MeDdLiNg hOnKy
AT: oH GOD, iS THAT, wHAT i'M DOING,
AT: i'M SORRY, i DON'T MEAN TO OR ANYTHING, i AM JUST WORRIED, bECAUSE YOU ARE MY NO,1 BRO, }:(
AT: i WASN'T TRYING TO GET MY HORNS UP INTO WHAT WASN'T MY BUSINESS, eXCEPT, i GUESS i SORT OF WAS, sINCE i AM WORRIED,
AT: sO i GUESS i AM JUST SORRY,
TC: Aw bRoThEr i wAsN'T SeRiOuS, iT AiN'T EvEn aNyThInG LiKe tHaT :o)
TC: SoRrY FoR MaKiNg yOu wOrRy
TC: BuT I GoTtA CoNfEsS I Am sTiLl kInDa sIlLy wItH ThIs cOnFuSiOn aS To wHaT Is yOu'rE AlL Up aNd wOrRiEd aBoUt fOr tHiS ClOwN
AT: oH, uHH, tHE GREAT BROOD, yOU SAID YOU WERE WORRIED ABOUT IT,
AT: oR I GUESS MAYBE IMPLIED IT,
AT: aND I WAS WORRIED KIND OF THE SAME WAY BEFORE I EVEN CONTACTED YOU,
TC: HaHa oH ShIiIiIt mY B
TC: BuT DoN'T WoRrY, i'm aLl fUcKiN SeT AnD ReAdY fOr ThIs ShIt
AT: oH, uH, rEALLY, tHAT'S GOOD!
TC: YoU AlL OkAy tO Go, TaVrOs?
AT: uH, pRETTY MUCH,
AT: i MEAN YES, i DEFINITELY AM,
TC: ThEn i gUeSs i'lL Be sEeInG YoU AlL OvEr tHiS BeAuTiFuL SwEeP OnCe tHe bRoOd pAsSeS :o)
AT: uH,
TC: WhAt aBoUt kArKaT? tHaT MaN AiN'T On hIs fEeT, iF YoU GeT WhAt i mEaN. hE'S AlL EvErYwHeRe wItH HiS HeAd iN ThE SeAfOaM, yOu kNoW WhAt i'm sAyInG? gUy sEeMs oUt oF SoRtS AnD I KnOw hE'S GoT SeCrEtS AnD AlL WhAt lIkE ThAt
AT: oH GOD, wHAT,
TC: WoRrIeD mY mAn Is SiNgLe On ThIs InApPrOpRiAtE aDvEnTuRe
AT: oH,
AT: yEAH, tHAT,
AT: uH, i GUESS, hE HAS HELP,
AT: bUT i DON'T THINK i CAN REALLY TALK ABOUT IT, }:( i DON'T KNOW MUCH ABOUT IT MYSELF
AT: gAMZEE?
TC: Oh wOw hAhAhA SoRrY ThErE My fUcKiN BrOtHeR I SoRtA JuSt wEnT SoMeWhErE WiThOuT GoInG AnYwHeRe
TC: BuT NoW I GoTtA Go fOr lIkE ReAl aNd gEt mY ClOwNy fEeT AlL AmBuLaToRy aNd lIkE ThAt :o) DuTy cAlLs
AT: oH, rIGHT,
AT: oK,
AT: tAKE CARE, gAMZEE,
TC: YoU As wElL, bAd mOtHeRfUcKiN BuLlBiRd :o)

--- terminallyCapricious [TC] ceased trolling adiosToreador [AT] --

------------

>>2735
LOL oops
fml pretend that desk is brown ok
I am not posting this for like a 609664th time, it is 6:30am.
GOODNIGHT CHAN.

this owns

you own

I've been reading it but just realized I haven't commented at all and that's fuckin sad

>Tavros: Given how shitty the conversation with your "best bro" went, ponder your relationships with your troll friends and decide who you can talk to about your emotional troubles.

>Tavros: Bring out some fiduspawn for company.

>Tavros: Troll the troll who chopped off your genitals and ask if they maybe had a plan for what you were supposed to do during the brooding.

>>2780
> Troll the troll who chopped off your genitals and ask politely if she still has them, and if she does, that you would like to borrow them for a while.

Yessss more updates. I am so happy right now even though I should have come here sooner to notice this update thing.

> Tavros: Troll Karkat to see if you can learn more about what's going on with Karkat, and maybe you two can make each other feel better about your troubles.

>>2796
Ahhahahah
This
Please this
If only for the reactions
And for the possibility that she acctualy does
I mean she saved his legs in AlterniaBound...

Tavros: Visually examine the lower half of your body.

>>2827
REAL UPDATE WHEN SHIT SLOWS DOWN aahahaha I have a bunch of family over and I still have a cold ahurururhnfnnffff

bump for lower half of tavros' body

BUNP.

TO KEEP THE DREAM ALIVE.

>>2811
Hate to remind bro, but technically, Kanaya was the one who chopped those motherfuckers off

Pretty sure he knew that. Might have forgotten Vriska is the one who saved them, though.

HOW DID I NOT SEE THESE UPDATES HOLY FUCK.
God, I am so off of every ball, it's unreal.
PARF. I'M SORRY.

>>3217
I thought she only saved his legs?
unless that thing...
the what's it...
Earthbound thing,
meant to show a few more disturbing pixels.

how do a pair of dismembered legs go missing without anyone caring where they went?

>>3215
>>3217
I figure if Vriksa saved his legs in alpha time line
Shes save the lower half of him in this one
Though thats up to PP
>>3241
Troll apathy
And as far as im concerned it was only his legs

I AM WORKING ON A HUGE UPDATE I SWEAR
also it's ok Katie I love you

also guys can we not clutter my thread up with discussion ;;; I do have a thread for baserapt in /gen/ to avoid this kind of thing

also consider that they're 8 now--do you think Vriska would STILL have his legs? plus, it's been a while! who knows! she could be over him, even. she might be o8sessing over someone else.

also also: >how do a pair of dismembered legs go missing without anyone caring where they went?

TROLLS. that's how.

>>2758

>Tavros: Given how shitty the conversation with your "best bro" went, ponder your relationships with your troll friends and decide who you can talk to about your emotional troubles.

You wouldn't say your conversation with your best bro went SO shittily, actually; you weren't looking to tell him about what was happening. You want to try to stay on the DOWN LOW, but it's hard keeping such a big thing a secret. You were more worried about his well being, and talking to him has adequately lifted your moods.

You're not sure if you could afford to talk to anyone about your emotional trouble. Honestly, you're not sure who would care. Besides Gamzee. And you aren't sure you want to disclose it. You don't want people STRESSING USELESSLY and FLIPPING THE FUCK OUT about your situation.

But maybe you can talk to someone all the same; the distraction would be nice, certainly… You have some time to kill before YOUR SHIFT, and maybe you can DO SOMETHING USEFUL with that time.

>Tavros: Consider options.

>>3441

There's a handful of people you can talk to. Some of them are OFFLINE. A few names come to mind. These are people you ACTUALLY TALK TO, save for ONE PERSON. You know lots of other people but they aren't exactly people you'd like to get in touch with.

Strangely, your MOST CURRENT CONTACTS are people you MET AND BEFRIENDED ON ALTERNIA. Perhaps it's nostalgia that rules you, but you find comfort in these connections with OLD ACQUAINTANCES.

>Tavros: Let's get some fuckin' CR summarization.

You don't talk to KANAYA MARYAM a lot. She doesn't talk to anyone a lot, you don't think. You two talk sometimes, because you suppose you have an AWKWARD BOND OF SORTS, but your AWKWARD BOND is, unsurprisingly, kind of AWKWARD. Talking to her is a little UNCOMFORTABLE and she isn't much of someone you can exactly SHOOT THE BREEZE WITH. She also kind of INTIMIDATES YOU with all of her SUCCESS and ICINESS. Boy it sure is pretty crazy you knew this girl since you had your legs because she sure is a huge deal.
==>

There's also... Oh god. Right. EQUIUS ZAHHAK.

This guy is incredibly OLD FASHIONED and gives the most esteem crushing not-advice. He's generally is into LORDING HIS CASTE, especially since entering the armada and MAKING HIMSELF A NAME. You don't care too much about CASTE CLASS, but his attitude's a little OFFENSIVE regardless. There's also the fact that you do kind of owe him--your highly functional and structurally sound AMBULATORY LIMBS are a product of his mysterious and twisted genius mind. You literally owe Equius for COUNTLESS UPGRADES and thus IMPROVING THE QUALITY OF YOUR LIFE. His understanding of biorobotics is always expanding and he almost treats you as a PERSONAL PROJECT.

This sort of CREEPS YOU OUT, but hey, it's free maintenance on very sophisticated machinery that makes your life so much easier.

Despite all this, you suppose you actually GET ALONG OKAY. It's just incredibly UNCOMFORTABLE talking to him when you don't ABSOLUTELY HAVE TO.
==>

Okay, well, there's NEPETA LEIJON to be considered as well. You actually still talk on a semi regular basis, whenever time allows. Even though you're both A LITTLE TOO OLD for it, you still ROLEPLAY SAFELY. She's also nice UNEXPECTEDLY GROUNDING in the face of SERIOUS ISSUES. You think that people tend to UNDERESTIMATE her intelligence because of how silly she is, but SHE GIVES YOU THE BEST ADVICE. You like her. She is nice and EMOTIONALLY INTELLIGENT, unlike your GREAT MANY OF ACQUAINTANCES.
==>

Okay, so TEREZI PYROPE. Your relationship is KIND OF HARD TO DESCRIBE. You don't TALK OFTEN but she seems to like to CHECK UP ON YOU. Sollux is similar in this way. You like her more than you like Sollux or Karkat, because when she does shit that is KIND OF MEAN, it's usually OUT OF AFFECTION. At least in your case. Her INSANE CLEVERNESS actually kind of spooks you. Terezi is spooky. But you guess she's also quirky and nice in her own weirdass way.

Talking to her mostly CONFUSES YOU. You figure this is actually JUST AS PLANNED.
==>

>>2802
hile you're always up for talking to NICE PEOPLE, sometimes it's pertinent for you to put aside PERSONAL DESIRE in favor of BEING A MAN and doing brave shit like talking to people YOU DON'T REALLY LIKE out of necessity. People such as KARKAT VANTAS.

You have never really gotten along with Karkat. You don't dislike him, but you also don't like him very much. Still, what Sollux has mentioned has you pretty WORRIED and admittably A LITTLE CURIOUS.

You wonder just what Karkat's deal is. He has no partners, but he's going to be fine? You wonder if he managed to find some last minute partners to fake the ritual. But more importantly than that you're not sure why Karkat's going to be okay. You wonder if the stress of THE GREAT BROOD is making Sollux KIND OF LOSE HIS FUCKING MIND and go into denial. You'll be okay, Karkat'll be okay.
==>

No, no, no. You don't like thinking like that. You hope Sollux is right.

Anyway, you're not sure if Karkat's away from his computer or not, but trying couldn't hurt.

------------

--- adiosToreador [AT] began trolling carcinoGeneticist [CG] ---

AT: hEY, uHH, kARKAT,
CG: OH HOLY FUCK, GREAT.
CG: THIS IS EXACTLY THE THING I NEED RIGHT NOW. I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW I NEEDED MORE EMOTIONALLY RETARDED/STUNTED IDIOTS IN MY LIFE, ESPECIALLY WHILE EVERYONE'S RUNNING AROUND LIKE A BUNCH OF DECAPITATED MUTANT CLUCKBEASTS WITH LOGS OF SHIT FOR LEGS.
AT: uHH, wHAT,
CG: YES. THANK GOD. BEAUTIFUL.
CG: WHAT DO YOU WANT, IDIOT.
AT: oH,
AT: i WASN'T SURE IF YOU'D ACTUALLY BE AROUND,
CG: FUCKING UNFORTUNATELY. WHAT THE HELL IS IT, I'M REALLY GODDAMN BUSY RIGHT NOW.
AT: uHH, wELL,
AT: sOLLUX, jUST, uH, cONTACTED ME,
AT: aBOUT THE BROOD,
CG: WHY THE FUCK IS THAT MY BUSINESS?? WHY SHOULD I CARE?
CG: WAIT.
CG: WAIT NO, FUCK. WHAT?
CG: WHY DID HE DO THAT, WHAT DID HE SAY?
AT: wELL, aCTUALLY,
AT: hE TOLD ME THAT WE'RE IN A SORT OF SIMILAR TROUBLE, i GUESS,
CG: WHAT IN THE UNHOLY AND MOST FOUL OF SHITPAILS
CG: WHY WOULD HE DO THAT??
CG: HE'S FULL OF SHIT, I'M FINE.
CG: I CANNOT EVEN TELL YOU HOW MANY PUNCHES IN THE FACE AND OR THROAT I OWE THAT IDIOT, TAVROS.
CG: I CANNOT EVEN.
AT: yEAH, hE SAID THAT,
AT: i MEAN, hE SAID YOU WERE GOING TO BE FINE, nOT THE, fACE/THROAT PUNCHING THING,
CG: WELL NO SHIT.
AT: bUT HE SAID THAT YOU DON'T HAVE A, kISMESIS OR MATESPRIT, dESPITE THAT,
AT: sO i'M A LITTLE CONFUSED, i GUESS,
CG: GOD DAMN IT, WHAT IN THE FUCK WAS HE THINKING. THIS HAS NOTHING TO DO WITH YOU.
AT: wELL, i THINK HE KIND OF, uH, PREFACED OUR CONVERSATION WITH THAT FACT SO i COULD BE MORE OPEN WITH HIM ABOUT MY, uM,
AT: sITUATION,
AT: oR SOMETHING,
AT: tO MAKE ME EMPATHETIC, mAYBE,
AT: pLUS, yOU'RE, uHH, mY FRIEND, i GUESS, oR AT LEAST, i LIKE TO THINK SO,
CG: DEAR FUCKING LORD.
AT: sO i THINK IT WAS FAIR THAT HE TOLD ME,
AT: hE WAS JUST WORRIED THAT WE'RE THE ONLY TWO WHO AREN'T, uM, sET UP,
CG: NO, REALLY?? STILL?
CG: REALLY?????
CG: WELL THAT'S A FUCKING SURPRISE!!
CG: I AM JUST AMAZED YOU DON'T HAVE ROMANTIC PARTNERS LINED UP FROM YOUR FUCKING RESPITE'S DOORS ALL THE WAY TO THE FUCKING PORT GATES OF THE SHIP!
AT: i AM GOING TO IGNORE THAT OFFENSIVE SLANDER, aBOUT MY COURTSHIP HABITS AND MY RELEVANT PRESENTLY UNFUFILLED LOVELIFE,
AT: sO WITHOUT THAT DERAILMENT, i GUESS WHAT i'M SAYING IS THAT NATURALLY, i AM A LITTLE WORRIED TOO ABOUT YOU TOO,
CG: UNBELIEVABLE. I'M FINE, OK.
CG: DON'T BE SO CONCERNED ABOUT ME, IT'S DISGUSTING AND AN UNFLATTERING PERSONALITY ASPECT.
AT: tHAT'S, kIND OF IMMATURE,
AT: sORRY, bUT i DISAGREE, hONESTLY, }:/
CG: OK WELL IT'S EMBARRASSING. UGH I AM SO SICK OF EVERYONE CHECKING UP ON EVERYONE. HOW ABOUT WE JUST WAIT UNTIL THE BROOD IS OVER AND CHECK TO SEE WHO'S LEFT, THAT'LL BE A LOT MORE EFFECIENT, LESS RETARDED AND A TON LESS REDUNDANT.
CG: BOY THE BROOD SURE IS OVER, WHO THE FUCK IS DEAD. OH HEY THAT ANSWERS EVERYTHING.
AT: oK, wELL, tHAT'S FINE, tHERE ARE THINGS MORE EMBARRASSING, i THINK,
CG: ANYWAY THIS IS NONE OF YOUR FUCKING BUSINESS, BUT I GUESS TURNABOUT IS FAIR PLAY.
CG: SO HERE I GO, NOT MINDING MY OWN GODDAMN BUSINESS FOR FAIRNESS'S SAKE.
CG: CAN'T YOU GET SOME ASSHOLE TO PAIL YOU OUT OR SOMETHING?
CG: THAT ISN'T AN OFFER BY THE WAY, GO FUCK YOURSELF. BUT I'M NOT HERE TO PLAY CUPID EITHER, OK. I AM SICK OF THAT SHIT AND IT'S TOO CLOSE TO THE DEADLINE NOW.
AT: oH, wOW, tHAT'S,
AT: a REALLY EMBARRASSING THING YOU JUST SAID,
AT: bUT THE PROBLEM OF PARTNERS ISN'T REALLY THE, eR, PROBLEM, aND WHEN I FIRST TALKED TO YOU ABOUT THIS A WHILE BACK, tHAT WASN'T WHAT i WAS GETTING AT,
AT: bUT i GUESS YOU COULDN'T REALLY HELP ME, eITHER WAY,
CG: WHAT THE FUCK IS THE PROBLEM, THEN.
AT: iT'S BECAUSE i, uMM, cAN'T,
AT: i CAN'T PRODUCE GENETIC MATERIAL,
CG: WOW, SO YOUR RETARD BRAIN ISN'T YOUR ONLY GENETIC DEFECT.
AT: wELL, iT'S MORE THAT, i AM MISSING MY PELVIS, kIND OF, uM, eNTIRELY, mOSTLY,
CG: WAIT WHAT THE FUCK, REALLY?
CG: I ALWAYS JUST FIGURED THAT
CG: WELL I DON'T KNOW, I GUESS FOR OBVIOUS REASONS I DIDN'T THINK ABOUT IT, BECAUSE WHO THE FUCK WOULD EVEN DO THAT.
CG: BUT I FIGURED YOU JUST KIND OF HAD A METAL PELVIS CHASSY AS A FIXTURE OR SOMETHING, I MEAN, WHAT THE FUCK IS THE SENSE OF REMOVING YOUR FUCKING BONE BULGE
CG: GEE SOMEONE REALLY DIDN'T THINK THIS THROUGH. WE WEREN'T GOING TO STAY KIDS FOREVER. WHEN DID THIS HAPPEN, EVEN?
AT: uM, bEFORE THE DRAFTING, kIND OF,
CG: RIGHT, LIKE MAYBE A SWEEP OR SO
AT: yEAH,
CG: YEAH SEE WHAT THE FUCK, IT SHOULD HAVE BEEN REALLY OBVIOUS THAT "OH HEY JUST ANOTHER SWEEP AND A HALF OR SO AND WE ALL HAVE TO PARTICIPATE IN THE GREAT BROOD!"
CG: WE WERE ALL AWARE OF THIS.
AT: uM, pLEASE, dON'T SPREAD IT AROUND,
AT: aBOUT MY ANATOMICAL, uH, sHORTCOMINGS,
AT: bUT THERE WAS NO OTHER CHOICE,
CG: GOOD GOD, WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT.
AT: tHE AMPUTATION GOT, uM, cOMPLICATED,
AT: oR i SHOULD SAY, tHE AFTERMATH DID,
AT: tHE HEALING TISSUE FESTERED, dESPITE MY CARE,
CG: HOLY FUCK, I AM GOING TO PROJECT THE CONTENTS OF MY ACIDIC DISOLVER POUCH ALL OVER MY SCREEN IN A FURIOUS STREAM. IT'S GOING TO HAPPEN. BLUH.
AT: sORRY, i KNOW IT'S GROSS, }:(
AT: bUT EITHER WAY, iT EVENTUALLY CAME TO HAVING TO REMOVE THE DEAD TISSUE,
AT: oNCE IT BECAME, uM,
AT: kIND OF ROTTEN,
CG: HOLY SHIT OK WE'RE NOT TALKING ABOUT THIS ANYMORE
CG: SOUND GOOD?
CG: GREAT.
CG: ANYWAY, WHAT ARE YOU GOING TO DO?
AT: i DON'T KNOW,
AT: sOLLUX SAYS i'M GOING TO FINE, aND HE SOUNDS PRETTY CERTAIN,
AT: bUT THAT ALSO DOESN'T, uM, SOUND,
AT: vERY LIKELY, aT ALL,
CG: YEAH NO THAT SOUNDS RETARDED AND INSANE. SOUNDS LIKE YOU'RE FUCKED.
AT: i KNOW,
CG: FUCK, SHOULDN'T YOU BE MORE FREAKED OUT?
CG: YOU'RE GOING TO FUCKING DIE.
CG: PROBABLY.
CG: FUCK.
AT: fREAKING OUT, wON'T, uM, dO ANYTHING TO HELP ME,
AT: bUT IT'S NOT LIKE i'M NOT AFRAID,
AT: mOREOVER, tHAT ISN'T REALLY, wHY i CONTACTED YOU,
CG: OH RIGHT.
CG: SHIT, SORRY.
CG: WHAT'S UP.
AT: wHY IS IT THAT YOU CAN'T PARTICIPATE IN THE BROOD, aND,
AT: wHY ARE YOU GOING TO BE OK,
CG: IT'S COMPLICATED, OK.
CG: SIMILAR, BUT COMPLICATED.
CG: I'M SORRY, IT'S NOT SOMETHING I CAN SAFELY DISCLOSE.
AT: oH, wOW,
CG: I'VE PROBABLY ALREADY SAID TOO MUCH, SHIT. THIS IS WHY SOLLUX SHOULDN'T BE FLAPPING HIS STUPID ODOROUS SEEDFLAP ABOUT THIS.
AT: wELL, oK, i'M SORRY,
CG: UGH
CG: LET'S JUST SAY
CG: NOTING THIS ISN'T ANY OF YOUR BUSINESS OR ANYONE ELSE'S AND THIS ISN'T A PRIVATE CORRESPONDANCE
CG: I HAVE A PARTNER TO BAIL ME OUT.
AT: uH,
AT: oH,
AT: wOW, tHAT,
AT: uHH,
CG: GOD
CG: OK FUCK THAT SOUNDS TERRIBLE.
CG: BUT EITHER WAY WHATEVER, I'LL BE OK.
CG: SHIT, I WONDER IF WE CAN DO SOMETHING TO HELP
AT: yOU AND, uH, sOLLUX, i'M GUESSING,
AT: aRE YOU GUYS IN COHOOTS,
CG: UGH I CAN'T TALK ABOUT THIS, I FUCKING CAN'T. SORRY.
CG: I'LL TRY TO FIGURE SOMETHING OUT, OK? I DON'T HAVE MUCH TIME, BUT I HAVE TIME ENOUGH TO MAYBE THINK OF SOMETHING. FUCK.
CG: BUT FOR NOW
CG: I'M GOING TO HAVE TO BLOCK YOU. SORRY.

--- carcinoGeneticist [CG] blocked adiosToreador [AT] ---

AT: uH,
AT: wELL, oKAY,

==>

Well, even if it ended a little terribly, that wasn't a completely useless conversation. You still have QUESTIONS, but the DISCIPLINATRIX'S DISSENTION RADARSQUAD has many eyes and no log is really safe UNLESS SCREENED. Which you probably aren't even aware of and if you were you wouldn't know how to do that at all. Gosh. Still, whatever Karkat's up to, it's serious if he can't go into detail under the eyes of AUTHORITY and it's probably better that you drop it for now. You wonder what Karkat's going to try to do for you specifically, and mostly, you feel whatever he comes up with be futile.

Regardless, a part of you feels kind of strangely reassured by his concern, despite all the flaming invective. Nothing's changed, but somehow, you feel just a little bit better.

>Ball up and troll Equius so he can help you have balls.

>Tavros: Troll Nepeta for advice.

Odds are if anything could be gained by talking to Equius, she'll know about it and can pass it along instead of needing to talk to Equius directly which would be STRONG AWKWARD.

Hey, I couldn't help but wonder, are you going to show any of the non-main trolls? Like their kismesises and matesprites, superiors, other friends, or their superiors?

Just a thought. I keep imagining some great (hilarious) relationship combinations, like Nepeta with a mild-mannered, professional soldier-type or something.

>>3506
you should ask on my formspring! I will answer here but for future reference, that is the place to go. :>
I actually have been asked this a lot and the more I am asked the more I am tempted, but I don't want this to become a case of gb2/oc/; if they make any kind of appearance, chances are that they're going to be incredibly brief cameos. Or maybe I can fashion up some separate meta profiles to satisfy people's curiosity without actually including the characters in Baserapt's actual telling?

IDK AAAAAA

I get to back track through all these lovely updates. All of them.

>LIKE A BUNCH OF DECAPITATED MUTANT CLUCKBEASTS WITH LOGS OF SHIT FOR LEGS.

I think I need to use that line at some point in my life. I will find a way.

>>3444
Can I just say, that is one smoking hot Kanaya.

After looking at the clothing and setting, I keep thinking of this picture of older Eridan I found a bit ago. I think it was by Spleen. Might post if I can find it again...

>>3562
uhh!
if you've got to, please post it to the general baserapt thread. ;;; trying to avoid clutter!

>>3564
Oh yeah, I will. I don't want to take up space on here.

>Tavros: Get some last-minute rp-ing in before duty calls. Troll Nepeta.

>Tavros: Be Nepeta.
>Nepeta: Be trolled by Tavros.

>something nepeta related

Tavros: what about THAT friend
You know
HER
then stop think about that and troll Nepeta

bump for AWESOME.

>>Tavros: STOP YOUR LOLLYGAGING THIS INSTANT AND START YOUR SHIFT, AND REPORT TO YOUR COMMANDING OFFICER WHO MAY OR MAY NOT BE SOME ASSHOLE YOU'VE KNOWN SINCE YOU WERE SIX.

>>3903

OH GOD OKAY THAT'S RIGHT, YOU HAVE A FUCKING SHIFT TO CATCH OK and for the record your commander isn't someone you've known since you were six. You're a pilot and right now you have work to do and you're going to go do it and it won't be very interesting.

So you are now a cockroach somewhere on THE SHIP, within which resides to our knowledge insofar: Karkat, Sollux, Terezi and Tavros. But you don't know who any of those assholes are. Fuck man, you're a cockroach. Shit. You don't give a fuck.

Today is just a fuckin' day in the life. You have jackshit to do with the brood. You mate whenever you want and have ALL THE BABIES. Yes, all of them. Obviously.

Being a cockroach is actually pretty gangsta. You think your species gets a BAD REP, or you would if you were actually SENTIENT ENOUGH TO THINK SO. Mostly you are a dumb piece of shit. That considered and aside, you're feeling antsy. Or perhaps cocky.

What will you do?

>>3942
Get stomped on.

Gain sentience and find someone else on the ship to be

>>3942
>>Mate with another fine cockroach

>>3943
STRONG stomped on by Equius?

>Be the next most related creature to yourself: Eridan!

>>3947
> Equius: Find cockroach, scream and cry like a little girl, these things terrify you.

> Get eaten by a felineesque troll.

ok so cuz of all the previous discussion and crap MY THREAD IS NOW SAGING?? wow

gonna make a part two and somehow save this shit aaaaaaaaaaaaaah

> get eaten and don't even care

:( has this been abandoned?

This was a good read. Good job all round.