Your name is J'READ CESOM, and you just woke up from a wicked nap. Where the hell are you? Oh yeah, your MATESPRIT'S HIVE! You recently just moved in due to VERY INSIGNIFICANT circumstances. It is also probably INSIGNIFICANT to mention today is your 11TH SOLAR SWEEP ANNIVERSARY. Yeah, who cares about those?
Isn't J'read the troll that tells the truth all the time? I'm pretty sure he's the one with the speaking quirk that causes clear communication and pleasant understandings with strangers.
>>61 >Find your matesprit immediately and have sex.
Ok, you have no clue what the hell "sex" is, but finding your MATESPRIT sounds like a great idea.
What the...? The door is locked. And why is there no lock from the inside?! Well, shit... seems I'll have to find another way out or talk to my MATESPRIT to open up.
Shoes?! What shoes? What kind of thing is that, even!? You couldn't even begin to understand where such a ludicrous idea like "shoes" could come from, or even be thought of!
No, there have never been nor will be any shoes on your arms.
That's not too hard. It's right there on the desk, where it bloody should be. Your new room is looking pretty tidy, now that you give it a glance. The move did go pretty smoothly. Let's take a moment and admire your various INTERESTS.
You have a variety of FAKE INTERESTS which you absolutely ABHOR, but have come to tolerate. You write POEMS and are COMPLETELY TERRIBLE at it. You also spend a lot of time studying and practicing ALTERNIAN RELIGION as a DISCIPLE OF GOG. And at times you dedicate yourself to making DELECTABLE AND EXOTIC CUISINES from the beast you and your LUSII hunt for.
You aren't sure if you are in the mood for your PAIL(not a bucket) right now. If you remember correctly you gave the Imperial Drone some enetic material before even moving. You still will like a chat with your MATESPRIT, so you quickly hit him up on TROLLIAN.
~
-- amicableAbomination [AA] began trolling intransigentWarden [IW] --
AA: hEY! hEY! hEY!
AA: wHY IS THE DOOR OPEN, mATESPRITE OF SOMEONE ELSE?~
AA: i DO REMEMBER AGREEING TO THIS~
AA: wHAT'S NOT GOING ON?
IW: It is for your own protection. [ )o not worry, you shoul[ ) have everything you nee[ ).
AA: wELL, THAT'S TERRIBLE AND ALL...
AA: bUT i DISLIKE HUNTING, TOO. aND MY LUSII DON'T NEED TO EXERCISE, YOU KNOW~
AA: yOU CAN KEEP US UP HERE ALL THE TIME.
IW: You will only be allowe[ ) outsi[ )e afer filling out the require[ ) safety information paperwork. If you like I can register your request and we can start processing immediately.
AA: gOGBLESS IT, THIS IS NOT JUST COMPLETE BULLSHIT!
AA: i THINK i CAN GET USED TO THIS KIND OF SHENANIGANS, SO ME AND MY LUSII WILL JUST STAY IN OUR ROOM AS WE SHOULD. hAH~
IW: For the sake of convinience I will take what you just sai[ ) at face value. Shoul[ ) you [ )eci[ )e you require something else you know where I can be reache[ ).
AA: nO, i DON'T KNOW EXACLY. sO YOU CAN BE SURE i WON'T BE ARRIVING AT YOUR DOORSTEP IN THE NEXT HOUR. oR MAYBE LATER! wHO KNOWS?~
AA: aLSO, PLEASE TELL ME YOU TOOK MY FLARP GRUB...
IW: FLARP is forbi[ )[ )en within the hive. RP on Trollian if you feel compelle[ ) to [ )o so.
AA: yES... yESYESYESYES! tHIS IS EXACLY WHAT i NEEDED AS SOON AS i MOVED IN HERE!
AA: tHIS IDEA IS STARTING TO SOUND BETTER AND BETTER WITH EACH PASSING SECOND.
AA: i MEAN... SURE ALL THOSE kESMISSES WANTED ME ALIVE TO CARE FOR ME, BUT STILL! tHIS IS BETTER THAN THAT, BY NO LESS THAN THE POWER OF TEN!
IW: The contract is signe[ ). You will just have to make [ )o. [ )on't [ )o anything stupi[ ). I'm watching you.
AA: wHAT? yOU AREN'T WATCHING ME?
IW: You are in MY hive. What kin[ ) of Troll [ )oesn't install grubwatchers on the premesis?
AA: oH gOG... i'M OFFICIALLY CHILLING. tHIS IS BY NO MEANS COMPLETELY DISTURBING.
AA: wELL... i'LL SAY A FEW THINGS...
AA: i PROMISE TO BEHAVE!!! hEHEHEHE~
>>121 >J'Read: Take off your silly glasses which are clearly not inspired from some comic book character which EVERYONE seems to know
You mean Troll Spider Jerusalem? Yeah, this has been a constant issue for you, even though he's GREEN AND RED, not PURPLE AND RED. But you suppose it's the glasses. You don't really like this things that much, I mean... you see just PURPLE all the same. Your whole get-up is usually pretty mystifying to new trolls, but it's simple... you are an ABOMINATION. So you wear both HIGHBLOOD AND LOWBLOOD colors, even though yourself are YELLOW BLOOD. It's pretty much the most offensive thing you could do.
But non of this is under your control. It's almost as if you were CURSED. Which you guess you are. But you don't want to think about that right now.
Oh, it's just one of your Lusii, Gueh. He scared the crap out of you. But really, there's nothing to be afraid of. He's the more gentle of the twins, even though he does look a lot scarier.
Your other Lusus, Yint, is over here in his cage. He is usually pretty dangerous for his small size so you never... oh... Oh Gog, he's awake... just...
There's no avoiding it now. Shit just got "R34L" and you are gonna do what needs to get done. Both you and Gueh get ready for some serious STRIFE, brandishing your CUTLASS and KRIS as you retrieve them from you DUALBLADEKIND SPECIBUS. This is probably gonna be the best STRIFE you'd had in a while!
You are now the other guy. Your name is Kalkan Surale, owner of this proud castle.
You been keeping an eye on J'read for a while. What a fool, he is going to destroy your beloved tower with all his roughhousing at this rate. You may need to do something about that later.
Now, for some silliness. You quickly open up one of your many CHESTS and retrieve one of your most serious and illusive disguises.
Kalkan? Who is this Kalkan you speak of? There's no one here but us, the sophisticated Mr. Kankal and Ms. Betsy Ana Marie. You'll have to look for this Kalkan fellow somewhere else.